Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Young, The Restless, And The Woefully Misinformed

Norma tells me that the soap The Young And The Restless is currently featuring a storyline set in my hometown, Ottawa. I'll admit right now that I don't know a lot about soaps. It seems people keep coming back from the dead, kids grow up seemingly overnight after being away at boarding school for a couple of months, stories never end, things are probably convoluted, and Susan Lucci has been nominated a whole lot of times for Emmys and finally won one. It must have been a shock to her to win after losing so many times.

Anyway, that's not what I'm here about. As she's explained, one storyline on the show is taking place in my neck of the woods. Only the show seems to have some profound misconceptions of what this area is like.

So, let's see what we've got here. Norma explained that a character parachuted into the area, apparently unseen. Uh huh. Right. Sorry, but doing that's not very likely. She's added that the show seems to be indicating my town's a bit of a backwater, seedy place, that there are piers, and waterfront bars that reinforce the sleaze factor.

Well. Obviously the show writers haven't ever been here. Or even googled anything about this place. So, in the interests of defending my hometown, let me set the record straight.

Yes, there are a few seedy areas, but they really tend to be the exception in this city, rather then the rule. And by the way, they're a long way from the waterfront. Our waterfront doesn't really contain piers, either. This is a city of rivers, and of a canal. The Rideau Canal, in fact, now stands among UNESCO's World Heritage sights, and it's a jewel in the crown. Our rivers aren't home to seedy bars, but to long stretches of parks and recreation paths. In fact, we don't really have piers. At least what I'd assume the show is presenting. We'll have some boardwalks here and there, places to tie down sailboats, motor yachts, and other pleasure craft, but piers? No, can't say we've got those. The closest we've got is on the Quebec side of the river, and it's set in an upscale environment for pleasure craft, right by a nice park. Again, no sleazy waterfront environment. Sorry, writers, but you obviously haven't done your homework.

Oh, and another thing. This isn't a sleepy backwater town. It's a vibrant city of 800 000 or so people. It's filled with culture, shops, festivals, centers of education, museums, and history. Sure, you do need to ignore the barbarians who currently run the Federal government here, not to mention the crook who occupies the Mayor's office. Easily done, I assure you.

This city, and the valley it's part of, is home. It's a place of wonderful natural beauty and some of the finest people you'll meet. It is not the realm of seedy bars and seedier people. Well. Maybe the Glebe, where they still sacrifice missionaries to Ba'al, but you didn't hear that from me.

And due to demand (though you won't see this if you come through town)....

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