Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, September 27, 2010

Thrusting And Grinding In 3D

Damn you, James Cameron.

It seems ever since that bloated new age overrated Avatar film came out, everyone wants to make 3D films. Even if the films themselves were not done in 3D, it seems converting them had to be done, just to buy into the fad. And so we've got a whole mess of movies that have been released, or will be released, in the 3D format. And speaking for myself, I hate it. Mind you. I hated Avatar, so having that as the first of the new wave didn't speak well for my opinion of the technology anyway.

That said, this isn't a rant against Avatar. As much as that wretched film deserves it.

Now it seems the 3D fad has gone into the adult film industry. Word has it that the Japanese are planning a 3D porn film. Hustler founder Larry Flynt has some ideas for the same sort of thing. And the guy who directed Caligula back in the day wants to redo it as a 3D film. So, in other words, body parts of naked porn actors are going to be jutting out of the screen at you, the audience, in the midst of grinding and thrusting among bedroom settings, cheesy music, and lousy acting. Of course, they don't make these films for the acting quality. It's all about flesh, and lots of it.

Soon enough, if this idea takes off, we'll be seeing Jenna Jameson or Kaylani Lei or (god forbid) Ron Jeremy in 3D. We'll be seeing hot tub solo pleasuring, voyeur scenes, girl on girl, threesomes, and orgies in 3D. Now how would the audience take that?

"Wow, now I ain't ever seen hooters like that before!"

"You call this a date? Going to see a porn flick
? I swear, Jeb, if you weren't my cousin, I'd... hey! Look at the size of that pecker!"
Yes, people, it's coming. 3D Porn. To be followed by a 3D porn version of Avatar.

1 comment:

  1. Heidi Montag's gigantic boobs in 3D...and, no, I don't mean Spencer Pratt. Makes me want to lose my lunch....


Comments and opinions always welcome. If you're a spammer, your messages aren't going to last long here, even if they do make it past the spam filters. Keep it up with the spam, and I'll send Dick Cheney after you.