Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

If It's A Legitimate Blunder, The Political Body Has Ways To Try To Shut That Whole Thing Down

"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap." ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

"If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow." ~ George W. Bush

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." ~ Mark Twain

Well, it's been an eventful few weeks in American politics, and the editorial cartoonists of the world have been using it for fodder. As of this writing, the Republican Convention is underway in Tampa (and a surly fellow named Isaac is wrecking havoc further west; that'll play well on the evening news). Governor Mittens (the first android to ever come this far in an election campaign) has secured the nomination (whilst shutting out the Angry Old Man's delegates all together... I think that may come back to haunt him) and has chosen his Vice Presidential candidate, one Paul Ryan, who's a right wing hawk in a party full of right wing hawks.

Rumors to the contrary, Governor Mittens won't be wearing this when he makes his big speech

The ideal choice for Governor Mittens fell through when country singer Randy Travis started getting arrested for being drunk, picking fights, and being naked in public.

 Most of us just want the whole campaign to be over with, but it's still two months to go, and there's no place on Earth (or beyond) to hide from it, it seems...

And of course it's fallen to a single Missouri congressman seeking a Senate seat to have thrown Governor Mittens' campaign into chaos with some of the most idiotic, misogynistic comments of the year. Todd Akin has secured the lock for Biggest Blunder of 2012, setting behind all other contenders. Calling this knuckle dragging troglodyte a neanderthal is of course an insult to neanderthals, who were far more socially adept.

And so with the conventions underway and soon to happen, we're entering the home stretch (finally). Hurricane Isaac is disrupting the original plans for the Republican convention (no appearance by the world's biggest self ego, Donald "The Hairpiece" Trump; this is something the GOP should consider a good thing). Hurricane Akin is doing damage within the party.

And after blundering his way through an overseas trip some weeks ago, Governor Mittens finally has the nomination for real this time. Even if the GOP wishes someone else, anyone else, had won.

Meanwhile, the President has his own convention to see to in coming days. When he's not too busy running the country. Keeping the Vice President from saying more than two words at a time. And taking shots at Governor Mittens.

Two more months, that's all. We can make it, right? Two very long months. And a few days on top of that.

Good God, that's too long.

Oh well, at least we can count on Todd Akin to not take a hint and quit his own campaign, thus providing us with endless amusements as his medieval ignorance continues to play itself out, right? It's not as if Mittens has him tapped to be Secretary of State.