Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Banks, Soda, And The Scammer

And rounding out the month, another of these grievous examples of halfwits and morons, useless and worthless people known as internet scammers and spammers. Yes, that infernal lot of twits who can't find a real job and so spend all their time cooking up preposterous too good to be true (because they're not) schemes in the hopes that someone they send it to will be dumb enough to believe it. These people are more irritating than... well, blackflies. And if you've ever been around those in May, you'll know what I'm talking about.

The following has been turning up with some regularity in my email over the last couple of weeks.

Attention,This is to inform you that a Lottery Winning payment in the amount of US$12,000,000.00 (Twelve million United State Dollars) was legally approved and deposited with this Bank, Royal Bank of Canada (RBC). The lottery won by your e-mail address via online active e-mail address selected from sponsor of Coca Cola Company award. It was registered with your email address by the Lottery Board Executive Directors Of Coca-Cola Company Canada Branch, and they instructed this Bank to credit this Winning directly to your private bank account with immediate effect.Please take note that Royal Bank of Canada (RBC) have decided and agreed together towards the actualization of the above subject matter which will be conducted under a legitimate arrangement that will protect both parties from any breach of law. To actualize this The new arrangement. Be well informed that the Royal Bank of Canada (RBC) was successfully opened a Royal Bank of Canada (RBC) Checking Account on behalf of your personal name and the total $12 million has been transferred to the non-resident account.Meanwhile, the good news about your payment now is that this paying have made a Royal Bank Of Canada (RBC) Checking Account Booklet and Royal Bank Of Canada (RBC) Platinum MasterCard on behalf of your personal name, which you will be using to withdraw from your non-resident account with this Bank smoothly.And we shall proceed with the delivery of your Royal Bank Of Canada (RBC) Checking Account Booklet and Royal Bank Of Canada (RBC) Platinum MasterCard to you, upon receipt of the Activation fee of $320.00 USD only. This means that as soon as we receive the activation fee we will activate the account for you to be able to withdraw immediately from the account, once we make the delivery of your Royal Bank Of Canada (RBC) Checking Account Booklet and Royal Bank Of Canada (RBC) Platinum MasterCard with some of the legal documents backing this prize to your address within 24 hours, because we were mandated to transfer this Winning to you as one of the winners whose name is listed in the Coca-Cola Company Canada Lottery award . Please expedite actions as the rightful winner, as the administrative overheads statement account valued added balance sheet have been issued in your favor. $12,000,000.00 USD Payment notification from Royal Bank Of Canada (RBC).So you are therefore advised to send the requested fee of $ 320 USD to us, the payment details will be sent to you as soon as you provide the below data:Below are the details we need from you.1. Your Full Name:.........2. Address:..........3. City:..........4. Country:..........5. Cell/Mobile Number:...........Email : offiefdxebsjwme@gmail.comIf at any time you have questions, concerns or comments, please contact us as we strive to ensure that you will always receive prompt and courteous attention.Yours faithfully,David I MckayThe President and CEO.Royal Bank Of Canada (RBC).Head Office Location Address: 200 Bay Street,Royal Bank

Okay, so where to start? Well, how about the end- with David Mckay, as spelled here. The president and CEO of Royal Bank of Canada is in fact David McKay, so you'd think he'd know that k should be capitalized. But this, of course, is not Mr. McKay. Just as this is not a real offer.

Because when you look up Coca-Cola lottery, all sorts of articles come up about how it's a phishing scam, as if that wasn't already obvious. 

Because there is no such lottery, and because this is all a fake. You can see it pretty quick in, where the standard giveaway of a scammer can be seen when they write it as 'United State Dollars'. I mean, really, is it that hard for you bloody morons to write States? It's one letter, but you bloody idiots trip over it all the time.

There are the other tell-tales. An abundance of capitalized words that don't need capitalization. Overly formal phrasing that does not read like it was written by someone with a strong grasp of the English language but instead put through translation software without being vetted. The millions of dollars serving as the hook for the sucker to believe this is all real.

I should point out that they mention the "activation fee" of 320 dollars, which is rare for a scammer. Usually they do this after the sucker has bought the scam, bringing up a processing fee or something of that sort. That 320 bucks is pretty much all these scammers expect to get out of these before the mark gets wise to the scam.

I should also bring up the irony of these weasels bringing up the non-resident account notion. Because I'm Canadian. And the Royal Bank of Canada is a Canadian bank. Not the one I use, but that's beside the point. Because they're forgetting that some of the 500 000 random emails they send this crap to will be Canadian, and we might find it annoying that we're not residents of our own country.

But I digress. Because I've seen far too many signs that tell me when I'm dealing with scammers to have a go at that bait. I know better. Maybe one of the other half a million email addresses you sent this to might believe it, but I don't. 

In closing, whoever you really are at the far end of that daisy chain of emails that sent this crap to me, I can only tell you, from the bottom of my heart....

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Revenge Of A Nigerian Scammer

They will never take a hint and go away. I speak, of course, of the internet scammers and spammers who infest our blogs and email with their endless nonsense. There's been no shortage of it lately coming from those dregs of society who appear to have absolutely nothing else to do with their time but send this crap our way. On the blog, they almost never get published, and these days tend to consist of the spell caster nonsense. That's what I get for posting about spell caster spam. In the email, they end up in junk folders and give me fodder for a post. Such is the case with the following.

From Mrs.Inga-Britt Ahlenius.Internal Audit, Monitoring, Consulting and Investigations DivisionUNITED NATIONS SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATIONS PAYMENTS.This is to bring to your notice that  After i was Retired from this office I was appointed again and I was delegated from the United Nations To Central Bank to pay 150 scam victims $5,000,000.00 (FIVE MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLAR) each.You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount, get back to me as soon as possible for the immediate payments of your $5,000,000.00 compensation funds.On this faithful recommendation, we want you to know that during the last U.N. meetings held at Abuja, Nigeria, it was alarmed so much by the world in the meetings on the loss of funds by various individuals to the scam's artists operating in syndicates all over the world today.In order to compensate victims, the U.N Body in conjunction with the Nigerian Government is now paying 150 victims of these operators $5,000,000.00 each in accordance with the U.N. recommendations.Due to the corrupt and inefficient Banking Systems in Nigeria, the payments are to be supervised by the United Nations' Officials and the Central Bank of Nigeria as the corresponding paying treasury department United Bank of AfricaAccording to the number of applicants at hand, 114 Beneficiaries have been paid, half of the victims are from the United States, we still have 36 left to be paid the compensations of $5,000,000.00 each.Your particulars were mentioned by one of the Syndicates who was arrested as one of their victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to him for any reason whatsoever as the U.S. secret service is already on the trailof the other criminals.Other victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible consideration.You are thereby advised to contact the private officer of the treasury department United Bank of Africa through the following information.Name........................Alex UgoEmail:......................              alex.ugoo1878@gmail.comTel:..........................                + 234-818-650-6211WhatsappYou will receive your compensations payments through which the options You will be detailed with the modalities as you contact the private officer of the treasury department United Bank of AfricaSincerely yours,Mrs.Inga-Britt Ahlenius

Okay. So first of all, there is an Inga-Britt Ahlenius. She's been a Swedish civil servant and worked for the UN in a higher level capacity for internal oversight. But this email was not coming from her.

Because someone who's generally that accomplished is not sending emails like this. And because someone like her has a solid grasp on the English language, even though it would be a second language.

No, this is the tell tale spammer, who hijacks such a name, and then proceeds to spin a tale, all while giving themselves away- spelling mistakes, capitalization of words and non-capitalization of words, improper punctuation.

This is someone whose grasp of the English language is poor, though they try to hide it behind overly formalized wording. Making small errors gives them away (or suggests they may have been homeschooled). 

Oh, they spin that tale of how 150 scam victims have been chosen to receive five million a piece (note to the scammers: I haven't been scammed, you jackasses). They say "it was alarmed so much by the world"... I mean, who says that? Scammers, that's who.

Look, jackass, when you keep sending the same variants of scam form letters over and over again, people pretty quickly catch on.

Oh, sure, you admit banking in Nigeria is corrupt and inefficient. Really, I'm shocked. You also say I'm one of the victims of these syndicates. That's a surprise to me, because I know better than to bite on the bait whenever these scammers send this crap. In short, I haven't lost money to scammers. 

Nice try, but maybe one of the hundreds of thousands of people among the other emails you sent this crap to might be dumb enough to buy the bait.

I'd like to suggest that you look into advancing yourself in society and asking this guy for one of his specialized drinks. What's the worst that could possibly go wrong?

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

The Great Jackpot Winner Scam

They have never heard of giving up, going away, or doing something productive with their lives. In fact, all they really have to live for is what they do. I speak of course of the internet scammers and spammers. Spamming our blogs and email with random pointless spam. Blogger usually filters out the spam comments (all while continuing to regularly shunt actual comments to spam too. Come on, Blogger, how long does it take you to sort that out?) The internet scammers who send us too good to be true nonsense, such as the following, which ended up in my email one day. Take it for the lie that it is.

Attention Please,I am Edwin Castro the winner of the world's greatest jackpot in a national lottery $2.05 billion (ё1.79 billion).SEE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS LINK:

I am giving the sum $800,000.00 (Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars) each to some selected individuals as donation.You have been luckily selected via mail system to receive the sum of $800,000.00 (Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars).Note that you are required to contact Mr. Raymond Bradson with your donation code and personal contact details.THIS IS YOUR DONATION CODE: ED-CASTRO-$800-2023You have to contact him directly with the information below.Name : Mr. Raymond BradsonEmail : raymondbradson@aliyun.comBest Regards,Edwin Castro.

Oh, sure, right, that's believable. Yes, there is an Edwin Castro who won a Powerball lottery. And if you look up his name, there's some controversy about his win. But there's also notice of an internet scammer posing as him and sending, well, the above email. To a half million or more people, no doubt. 

Because this isn't Edwin Castro. This is the cover story of a long line of email addresses that lead to some dark corner of the world with no extradition treaties.

Not a lottery winner.

Because a lottery winner wouldn't be handing out hundreds of thousands of dollars to select random people. No, they'd either be burning through it, getting annoyed by long lost relatives they haven't spoken to in years looking for handouts, finding themselves in a sudden relationship with a gold digger looking to score the big payoff....

...or saying absolutely nothing about it to anyone, banking the money, continuing their job, and being very discreet. 

The lottery winner scam is a pretty old trick, casting along the standard story of wanting to share the wealth to some deserved individuals, giving the name of a standard case worker, in this case the totally real Richard Bradson. They will promptly take your personal contact details, including social insurance number, credit card numbers, and banking numbers and passwords, and proceed to wreck havoc with your entire life before vanishing into the wind.

Nice try, numbskull, but let's face it, I've seen this before, and I know your methods.

Why don't you do the world a favour? Travel to Skull Island and make the acquaintance of a cranky giant ape.