A Requisite Three Day Weekend

 It is Labour Day today. I have an image blog for the occasion. Enjoy!

Even Death Has An Odd Bad Week

"Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to begin with an explanation of sorts. We, the Grim Reapers, sometimes also known as Death Inc., have an endless task set before us. People are born. And people die. We're tasked to bring them to the afterlife. Whatever destination that may be for them. It's a lot easier with animals. They all go to the good place. Humans? Not so much. Especially these days.

The point is, we're busy. And sometimes, mistakes get made.

It's been a hard few days for the world. There's been a great deal of anticipation, expectation, and people waiting for a long overdue obituary. Yes, that obituary. A certain obese obnoxious self absorbed con man who weaseled his way into a powerful position not once but twice. As a grim reaper, may I just say that one should try going through life not being the sort of person whose death will be cause for  global celebration. Because if you're that sort of person, you're really not going to like the place that you're heading to when you leave this life.

So, for the record. Yes. We are working on it. Things just keep getting in the way, but he's definitely running short on time, and the Devil has prepared a place in Hell just for him- a dark void with no exit, no company, and no audience. Just himself. Alone forever. That's kind of fitting, don't you think?

Theologians might say that he can repent his ways and go the other way, but realistically?

You'd have to have a soul. And he frittered that away decades ago.

So no, he's going to Hell.

But we need to set the record straight on some things.

A lot of people have been taking out their anguish on us. Which we get. Because in short order, you had these wonderful people die, who lived their lives very much as themselves, who made an impact on so many lives. People who are widely mourned and commemorated. I mean, the closest thing Earth had to a living saint was Dolly Parton. Kind, compassionate, humanitarian, with a personal interest in childhood literacy and access to books. An entertainer who didn't take herself seriously, but who helped others because it was the right thing to do.

And Tim Curry? Loved him in Clue, by the way. That movie is a big favourite among grim reapers. But Tim was a larger than life actor who inhabited every part he played, and breathed life into every film. People loved him.

And now both of them are gone. To a better world, let me assure you. Dolly has joined that heavenly choir, and Tim is cracking jokes with St. Peter. They're at peace now, in a place which will never be home to an odious slug who resides at 1600 Pennsylvania.

We just want to say that we're sorry. Dolly and Tim dying in short order comes as a shock, because it is. Because these were good people, and even though they lived long lives, it's never long enough when good people pass on.

But everyone has their time to pass on. Except Keith Richards. That guy's going to live forever, because we misplaced the paperwork. And it was Dolly and Tim's time to depart from this world, even after all the good they did and the joy they brought to the lives of people they might have never had the chance to meet. Look, this is our job. And despite our reputation as looking scary, we're not. We're walking you into the afterlife. Like an old friend. Helping you make that transition.

Unless you're going to Hell. In which case we're kicking you in the ass and sending you down into the pit.

I get that people don't want to deal with the idea of Death. But we are a natural part of Life. Namely the ending of it. And when you live the kind of life that people mourn you in the way people mourn Dolly and Tim, you'll meet us as an old friend, taking that last walk together. If, on the other hand, you live your life like a Donald Trump, you're going to be screaming in terror when you meet us. The moral of the story is, be like Dolly and Tim. Don't be like Donald. 

So what we're saying is we appreciate the frustration people are having with us. You want to see him no longer wasting oxygen, and it hurts when good people pass out of this life and horrible people live on. We get that. 

Just rest assured with this:

He's running out of time. We're on it. Trust me."

The Unexpected Totally Fake Scam

 

They are the lowest of the low. They have no real job, no purpose, no direction in life. Nothing but being what they are. They are the scum who send us random comments in our blogs that have nothing to do with the subject. They are the vermin who send us emails with spam and scams, trying to get attention, trying to get someone just gullible enough to do business. I speak, of course, of that wretched horde called homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus, otherwise known as the internet scammer and spammer. The following crap came to my email recently, but not with the name listed in the included email. No, it was one Nancy Peters. That should be the first hint.

From  : JP  Rodrigue

RE      : Regarding Pending Matters

            (D.M.C) FCA.

Dear Sir,

I am pleased to inform you that I have recently resumed duty as Chairman  Debt Reconciliation Commission. Our responsibility is to reconcile and release all pending and unclaimed funds owed to individuals and companies.

According to our records, an outstanding overdue amount of "seven hundred and fifty thousand USD has been located in an international account registered under your name and email address. These funds are classified as unclaimed and are rightfully due to you.

We have observed that the payment is delayed due to an unauthorized claim. To proceed with the release of these funds, we kindly request the following information for validation:

- Full Name

- Telephone Number  

- Contact Address

This is to enable us to arrange the immediate transfer to your designated financial port.

Please confirm at your earliest convenience so we may proceed

Sincerely,  

JP  Rodrigue

Chairman, Debt Management Commission (D.M.C) FCA.

Oh, sure, right. That's believable. A random email reaches myself and five hundred thousand other email addresses claiming that I'm owed money. From an agency that sounds official but doesn't actually exist. They use the overly formal writing, claiming that I'm owed seven hundred fifty thousand dollars in an international account registered to my name. This is astonishing, because my banking is of course domestic only. They want me to get caught off guard and believe this crap, because if I do, it's only a matter of time before I get caught up in it, and the inevitable "administration fees" are set up.

Of course, I know better. I've seen this crap so many times by now that their methodology is well known to me. So I won't believe any of it. But they're not counting on me. They're counting on the one or two gullible nitwits in that list of five hundred thousand random emails they've sent this to. The nitwits who will actually believe it, and then wonder after losing a few thousand dollars where it all went wrong.

In an ideal world, schmuck, your end would be against one of these fiery grouches. A well deserved end too.

A Mystery Of The Missing Senator

Veteran Senator Remains AWOL; Staff Insist Nothing Wrong

Washington (AP). The Old Tortoise of the Senate has not been seen since mid-June when he was rushed to the hospital. Senator Mitch McConnell, poster grandpa for term limits in politics, has spent several weeks incommunicado with colleagues, constituents, and damned near everyone else. The Kentucky Senator, who has made a career out of being a hyper partisan control freak turned sycophant to the current president, has loomed large in recent years, all while a number of health scares have called into question his effectiveness to represent his constituents.

The silence from the McConnell camp has become sufficient that Kentucky's governor has been demanding proof of life from McConnell. His wife was on an extended trip to China, which seems odd under the circumstances. Republican colleagues have claimed they have spoken with him at length. McConnell's staff have insisted that he is in recovery but working closely with them to get his work done. President Trump shrugged, blamed Joe Biden, and spent four hours on rant tweets when asked about the Senator. "Mitch who?" he muttered. 

While rumours spread that McConnell was dead, or at least brain dead, for a brief time, another senator died and upstaged him. Senator Lindsay Graham, who once referred to President Trump in disparaging ways before having his spine surgically removed and becoming a bootlicker to the president, died after a cardiac episode. The President slept through the funeral and had to be prodded awake. Social media was abuzz with posts such as "no, not that Republican, the other guy" and "all good things happen in threes." And while the President looks like death warmed over, he hasn't died yet.

Effectively speaking, McConnell's constituents have no representation. There have been a few claims at proof of life- a photo with photo shop work done, or a brief statement- but nothing definitive. Governor Beshear, a Democrat, may have a chance to appoint an interim senator, though state laws appear to push towards a special election to fill out the term. McConnell had previously pledged that he would not run again in November. But for every half hearted proof of life, there are doubts. No one from across the aisle has claimed to speak with him. Instead, there are memes and misgivings, and continued silence from the Old Tortoise.

It's been suggested that the Republicans wish to avoid the risk of a special election, and have been gaslighting to make it appear that McConnell was alive and not incapacitated and unable to carry out his duties. The party is said to be terrified of being trounced in the upcoming mid-terms nationally in November, and just as terrified of the MAGA base that has become their party's voting bloc. Drinking games have been created, with the rule of taking a swallow of Kentucky bourbon every time the McConnell staff put out another vague statement. 

Is Mitch McConnell dead? Or brain dead? Can he form a coherent thought? Can he communicate that thought? Inquiring minds want to know. Especially if McConnell's colleagues are lying about his status quo to stave off another loss, which has the hint of illegal about it.

Or has he met a different fate, perhaps at the hands of someone unexpected?

Is he frozen in carbonite?

Great Power, Great Responsibility

"No Banner. No girl. Only Hulk." - Hulk

"What do you know about me, kid? You think this is a choice? Living like this is a life style, is that what you think? Kid, this is a sentence." - Punisher

"Just because we've lost someone... it doesn't mean we have to do this alone. I mean we can't. Trust me, I've been trying. It doesn't work." - Peter Parker

Summer brings back the blockbuster action films, and that includes the comic book adaptations. The latest of the MCU films to come out is Spider-Man Brand New Day, directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, and reuniting cast members from the previous films and elsewhere in the MCU, while introducing new players along the way. It's a film that works very well in taking the lead character in new directions, while remaining true to who he is.

The last film saw Peter Parker (Tom Holland) known to the world as Spider-Man, but a mindwipe made everyone forget. With his aunt May (Marisa Tomei) dead, Peter is living anonymously as himself, and spending all of his spare time as his webbed counterpart, protecting New York. MJ (Zendaya) and Ned (Jacob Batalon) don't remember him, and have gone off to college. We see that time has passed, and Spidey has been busy, working closely with the police to take down threats. It's about the only part of his life that is going reasonably well. Home is a dark apartment where his only company seems to be a Stark Tech A.I. assisting him as needed.

And his anonymity is making him miserable, even as his enhanced physiology starts to take him in some unexpected directions. While he's getting along with the police, he's bickering with the more lethal vigilante Frank Castle, the Punisher (Jon Bernthal), and connecting with other figures of the MCU, like Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) and Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh). Peter finds himself dealing with a very different kind of antagonist- one that can jump from body to body, that has their own agenda that plays out as the movie goes along.

Cretton keeps things balanced nicely, weaving between jaw dropping action and quiet character moments. There are a lot of easter eggs in here for comics fans, from visual tributes for comic covers to characters that enter the MCU for the first time, or return after time away. These include small cameos by rogues like the Scorpion, Tombstone, or the Hand- any of which could be a major villain in their own right. But as the film goes along, things are not what they seem, and the true villain stands exposed for what they are.

Jon Bernthal has been playing the Punisher in the Daredevil series. The character is harder, more brutal than Spider-Man; as in the comics, here in the MCU they disagree about where the line is drawn in stopping criminals. Bernthal plays him that way- tough as nails, holding close the family he has lost. but still as a man with a conscience, and it's interesting to see the dynamic between Spider-Man and the Punisher evolve as the story goes along. Ruffalo returns as Bruce Banner, using an inhibitor to keep his Hulk side in check. He's working as a professor, which you would expect, and wary of a return to his big green self. But this is an MCU film, and when the Hulk makes his presence known, it's very well played out.

Marisa Tomei's May Parker died in the last film. However, she appears here in flashback- and in a context best seen for yourself, wise and compassionate in a way that is pivotal at a critical moment. Liza Colan-Zayas plays Jean DeWolff, a detective with the NYPD who is the closest thing Spidey has to a partner. She gives the character a tough but concerned tone in her performance. Florence Pugh does a cameo as Yelena Belova, bantering with Holland's Spidey in a playful scene. 

Batalon has been playing Ned for several films now, and as things start, he's the geek slowly growing up, posting videos online that MJ wonders who would be watching, neither of them knowing it's Peter's only way of keeping touch with them. Ned and MJ are sharing an apartment and maintaining their friendship, all while unaware of the missing part of their lives. Sadie Sink, from Stranger Things, appears in a critical role with a lot of dramatic weight. Zendaya continues to play MJ, who finds herself drawn back into the orbit of Spider-Man again. She's grown as an actress, and the turmoil that the situation brings upon her character is met by her performance. 

Holland has also grown as an actor; Peter is no longer the high school student we first met, but years into the role. It's a darker, more isolated take on the character, who has lost all that mattered to him. Peter is withdrawn from the world, forgotten by those he loved, due to the choices he had to make. His life as Spider-Man starts to spin out of control too, and mistakes are made. But Holland conveys the core of what makes this character so compelling- that in the end, he is an inherently good person always striving to make things right. And the character's journey in this film includes coming back to himself.

The end result is a highly entertaining but thoughtful adaptation, with great visuals, high stakes, and emotional grounding in its characters. It takes some twists and turns along the way, but does so in keeping with the story. All in all, a worthy addition to the MCU, with a mid-credits moment that leaves the viewer wondering 'what the hell...'

The First Lady ATM Scammer

Sigh. You would think they would wise up that we're onto them. You would think that they would stop their current line of work to find an honest line of work. But no. They won't stop, because this is all they know how to do. They infest our emails with scams that are too good to be true. They send random comments to our blogs to promote themselves. I speak, of course, of homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus, the lowly subset of human beings we call the internet scammer and spammer. The following line of garbage was sent to my email recently.

It might interest you to know today that we have completed Investigation in the ATM visa card worth us$10.5 million in your name
With Bank of America in New York today and you are hereby approved to receive the Visa Card as assigned to dr. rafiq bengali at fdx courier company as we have Verified the entire transaction to be safe and 100% risk free by the United State of America federal government and white house representatives. If you receive this email in your spam/junk folder mail then move it to your inbox mail before responding to me so I will be able to receive your email.

This message is coming to you from Mrs. Melania Trump. I am writing to inform you about your Bank ATM CARD and your 2025 Rolls Royce Cullinan brought by the white House Washington DC agency and has been mandated to be delivered to your address as soon as you get back to me with your below information.

1. Your full name:=======
3. Your country:=========
4. Your home address:====
2. Your telephone no:====
5. Your nearest airport:==
Your ATM contains the sum of $10.5 million USD.

Send a direct email to me on my private email which is (.....) or reply directly to this email you received.

I will be waiting to hear from you with your full information immediately you receive this good news, thanks and God bless you. Remember to move this message to your inbox mail before you can respond to my email so I can be able to receive your email

Remain Blessed,
Yours faithfully
Her. Excellency Mrs. Melania Trump.

Okay then. First of all, I should mention that the originating email (which is probably the first in a long line of email addresses) had an ip code address for a university in India. There's your first red flag that something about this is horribly wrong.

Second, they are claiming that this is coming from Melania Trump. The First Lady. Also known as the First Lady to pose nude in soft-porn pics with other women, the First Lady who plagiarizes, the First Lady who really doesn't want the job. 

The First Lady who supposedly speaks multiple languages, but for all intents and purposes can't demonstrate that. The First Lady who doesn't read or have any noted cause. Oh, sure. While I admit she's from a family of grifters, this isn't her. This is your typical internet scammer who foists onto a name, tells a story, and misspells things, or capitalizes words (and by extension doesn't capitalize words)- the hallmark of the internet scammer. Just that this time, they decided to make use of the name of the current First Lady, whose work experience consists of soft porn and ignoring actually carrying out any duties of the position she's found herself in.

So we're supposed to believe that this First Lady is spending her time with ATM Visa scams, which is one of those standard scams usually run by someone passing themselves off as a banker. Oh, right. And for good measure she signs herself off as "Her Excellency Mrs. Melania Trump." I get it, MAGA thinks Trump is King, but he's not, and "Excellency" is not a title used either for Dementia Donald or She Who Avoids Her Husband. 

Come on, how stupid do you think we are? I have to stop asking that question, because unfortunately there are a lot of stupid people around, and they keep lowering the bar. I can only speak for myself, that I know better, having had seen too many of these scam emails. But those to whom it might be directed to- the drooling masses of MAGA, for instance- might be dumb enough to believe it. After all, they believe just about anything they're told by their orange master... or Fox News.

To the person who really sent this email, I want you to go watch the First Lady's "documentary." In the same setting as below. And see how long you last.