Beware The Barrister With A Scheme

They are a pestilence and a plague upon the modern world we live in. They have no real job or purpose in life, so all they can do is what they do. They infest our blogs with random comments that have nothing to do with the subject, or send us endless amounts of spam in our email. They propose endless get rich quick schemes in email. Of course, I speak of that wretched hive of scum and villainy we call homo sapiens spammeritis irritatingus. Also known as the internet scammer and spammer. The following nonsense came through my email not too long ago.

Hello Sir,

My name is Peter Collins, An associate at Duzi and Associates. A Law firm registered under the independent, practicing Bar of England and Wales.

I apologize for intruding into your privacy through this medium. There is an unclaimed life insurance policy in the amount of US$11,550,300 held by our deceased client. The policy holder was one of our clients   who was a real estate Investor.

He was a COVID 19 victim and all attempts to locate his immediate family proved abortive and no one has ever asked about the investment.

You are being contacted because you share the same last name with our client for us to partner together to claim the policy for our mutual benefit.

I will be happy to share more details when you revert to me. Your earliest response to this matter will highly be appreciated.

Peter Collins
Senior Associate

Oh, sure, right. A barrister from a law firm that doesn't actually exist. Who writes in that overly formal style common to internet scammers who don't speak English as a primary language and make mistakes regardless. Like punctuation and spacing issues, or capitalizing words that don't need it. He tells a story of a client who died of Covid 19 and left a fortune behind unclaimed in the form of a life insurance policy. In American money, because apparently scammers trying to present themselves as living in Britain seem to think that the British pound doesn't exist. They propose that since I have the same last name (uh huh) that we split the cash.

Rubbish. If you were a real attorney, which you are not, you would figure out a way to steal all this non-existent money for yourself and not bring in a random partner. No, because there is no money. Except for the "processing fee" of a few thousand dollars that you'll con the dumb idiot who believes this crap. One person out of half a million random email addresses you sent this to in the first place gullible enough to buy it.

It would be nice if you went away and stopped wasting oxygen. Of course, I say that about many a people these days. Can we have you meet a bad accident in a transporter beam instead?

Legend Of A Peroxide Addled Lunatic

In response to certain things going on south of the border these days....

Last Run Of A Runaway Bobsled Team

Today I have an image blog for the Winter Olympics, still underway. Enjoy!

Tales Of A Bank Manager And Scammer

 

There will never be an end to them. They plague our email accounts and our blogs with get rich quick scams and comments that have nothing to do with the subject matter. They send us stories and tall tale claims that they hope will garner them the attention of a sucker. I speak, of course, of that vile horde of useless wastes of oxygen we call homo sapiens spammeritis irritatingus. Also known as internet scammers and spammers. This pile of garbage came through my email recently.

Hello my Friend .  

My name is Mrs .Greatness K. Tetteh . I am the regional manager of Standard Chartered Bank .

I write you this proposal in good faith, I am a woman of peace. I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit you and I. As the regional manager of the Standard Chartered Bank it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra at the end of each business year.

In the course of the year 2014 business report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the manager made Three Million Seven hundred and thirty thousand United state Dollars ($3,730,000.00) which my head office isn't aware of and will never be aware of. I have placed these funds on what we call ESCROW CALL ACCOUNT with no beneficiary. As an officer of this bank I cannot be directly connected to this money, so my aim of contacting you is to assist me receive this money through VISA CARD and get 35% of the total funds as commission.

There are practically no risks involved, Because, You will receive it through VISA CARD and all I need from you is to claim as the original depositor of these funds who made the deposit with my branch so that my head office can approve the funds for you to receive the VISA CARD 

Thanking you in advance for your kind and urgent response, more so for keeping our proposal to yourself.  Therefore if you are interested to work with me just comply with your information so that I can program it to Our Data Base as the beneficiary of the funds . also to send you the application letter to apply  .

FULL NAME...........

ADDRESS.............

AGE.................

SEX.................

OCCUPATION..........

MARITAL STATUS.....

TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER......

Best regards,

Mrs .  Greatness K. Tetteh

Oh, wonderful. Now the scammers are calling themselves by a fake name that isn't even a name. Because if Greatness is a name, this is the first time I've heard it used. She, he, or it starts off by saying "my friend". I am not your friend. I have enough friends, and don't want any more. My friends don't waste my time with this crap. She identifies herself as Mrs. Greatness K. Tettah, a regional manager of Standard Chartered Bank (oh, sure), and then proposes a scheme of pilfering money from her bank with my assistance (what could possibly go wrong?). 

The standard tell tales of the scammer are there. Overly formal language and a few mistakes here and there. The capitalization of words that don't need it. The "hush hush, trust me, this is a good deal" tone of the whole thing. But it's not true. Random bankers do not reach out to complete strangers halfway around the world to help them steal from their own bank, if this story were true, which it is not. The truth of this is that this person is scamming, with a really dumb fake name. And maybe someone in that list of a half million random emails will be gullible enough to believe it.

I can't say I'm surprised. I sometimes think that writing about these in a post draws them out. I can tell you that I've had recent comments from people about a certain Cancer Widow who first spewed her tale of "I'm dying in a few months" in an email to me years ago, and who is still sending the exact same word for word email to them as well. That's impressive for someone who claimed to be on death's door a decade ago.

Oh well. They'll never learn, never stop, and never find an honest way of making a living. 

All we can do is ridicule them until they cease wasting oxygen.