Saturday, October 16, 2010
Things That Need To Be Said
If you're expecting my usual snarkiness and sarcasm today, you'll have to wait. I need to vent. And rant a bit.
Family issues. We've all got them. Some relatives we don't get along with, for one reason or another. My family certainly qualifies, and definitely right now. As I said, I need to vent, and I doubt this'll be read by the two people in particular who I'm angry with right now. If by chance it is, well, I'm beyond the point of caring.
I'm one of seven children, five of whom are still living. My parents are retired now. There've always been some frictions, here and there. When I was a child, for instance, I really, really didn't get along at all with one of my brothers. In my teen years, it had deteriorated to the point where I could honestly say I hated him. The odd thing is that now we get along fine. In fact, I get on fine with both surviving brothers.
Our sisters, however, are a different story. There's something of a cliqueness, if you will, between them. Both of them have had some tough breaks. The elder married an abuser much too young, and had two daughters with him. When she had enough, she left him, got involved with a long string of loser boyfriends, one after the other without stop, until she finally married a decent guy. I get her reasons for that long string of boyfriends. Her ex husband made her feel absolutely worthless, so his influence still dominated her mindset for years afterwards. Instead of taking time to find out for herself who she was, she just went and dated a long string of jackasses, drug addicts, alcoholics, and all around wastes of oxygen, passing each off in turn as her latest love of her life. Biting my tongue and not telling these guys what I thought of them took a lot of willpower, trust me.
The second sister is another story. She's always been moody, quick to lose her temper, and holds onto a grudge. She and I never did get along, and the fact of the matter is we barely tolerate each other. She got involved with the worlds' biggest idiot (I am not kidding) when I was twelve or thirteen, and to say he and I never got along is a vast understatement. I'm convinced he's intimidated by anyone who's smarter then him (99.9999999999999999999999 % of the world's population). The man is a bigoted, ignorant, mouthy, argumentative man who keeps getting fired from every job he takes, simply because he can't resist arguing with a boss, fellow employee, or customer. He's a complete loser. An absolute waste of oxygen.
Is it obvious I don't like him?
I spent years, biting my tongue, swallowing back my impulse to tell the jackass off. Why? Simple. For the sake of my parents, and because the two of them have a son who's actually a decent kid. Certainly not for either of them. They're seperated now, and not getting back together, but still. Because the nephew's there, I can't just tell the guy off, knock him on his worthless ass, or really tell him what I think of him.
The problem with swallowing back, if you will, of not venting and ranting when you really need to, is that all that negativity festers inside. It's not good, believe me. So, for the sake of civility, I bit my tongue while one sister's complete ass of a husband would routinely demonstrate his bigoted stupidity on the one hand, and while the other sister trotted out the latest love of her life.
That's the background.
My parents have moved in recent days, to a retirement home. It's a decision I don't particularly like, but one I've accepted. Both sisters, it seems, came in, and essentially took over everything. They ended up yelling and screaming at my parents, treating them like little children incapable of making a single decision. Which, of course, made both of my parents angry. My mother, in particular, rarely gets angry, but in speaking with her by phone, it was obvious she was still hurt by it. Harsh words were thrown at them by both sisters, the elder in particular, and there were no apologies made.
I haven't got all of the details. It seems they think our parents favour the sons. Absolute rubbish. It seems they were both angry with me for not assisting with the move, and with my younger brother for, and I quote, "being off in his own little world." Again, rubbish. In my mother's words, for the first time in her life, after they were gone, she was glad that they were gone. It may be quite awhile before they visit either of them.
They yelled at our parents. They treated them badly. They took all semblance of control away from them, even if only for a couple of days. And neither of them seemed to realize they really should apologize for it.
Well, I've had enough. I'm done with both of them. As I said, I bit my tongue for years with these two sisters' personal choices. I'm done with maintaining civility where they're concerned. To hell with both of them.
I have no sisters any more.