Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

N Is For Nightmare

The muppet finds himself running for his life. The tunnel is dark and cramped, water flowing at his feet. Grover finds himself breathless, but he knows he cannot stop. The hunter is behind him. Coming for him. He will never stop. Grover runs on, wondering how to get out of this place, desperate for freedom, for a way out. He comes to a halt. There is open sky ahead. He moves forward, to the edge, and looks down. The river is far below. Water spills out of the dam, out of the tunnels just like this one. He's trapped. A voice booms behind him. It is the voice of the hunter. It is the voice of Inspector Lars Ulrich.

Lars: Freeze!

Grover freezes, filled with terror at the sound of the lawman's voice.

Lars: Turn around!

Grover turns, facing his nemesis, who's armed with a Glock, aiming it at the muppet's head.

Grover: You know, sir, this situation seems strangely familiar, sir. Like The Fugitive, sir!

Lars: Yes, well, the guy writing all this was going to take the whole thing in this direction, then reconsidered. Now! Down on your knees!

Grover: I did not kill Elmo, sir!

Lars: I don't care!

Grover: Yes, sir, this is looking more and more like a take on The Fugitive, sir.

Lars: I said, down on your knees! Grover, do you want to get shot?

Grover: Sir, please.... I must ask! Why does a band member from Metallica spend his time chasing fugitives, sir?

Lars glares at the fugitive. Then he pulls the trigger, bullets tearing into Grover's body. The muppet screams in pain, and then falls back, tumbling off the edge.....

....and he sits up, screaming. Grover finds himself on his cot in his cell, trembling and shivering, the nightmare all too real.

Grover: Oh, I am so screwed....


  1. I'd like to comment, but I can't stop laughing.

    I don't know who to feel sorrier for, Grover or Lars. Grover on the run, and Lars getting Metallica comments from a Muppet.

    Or maybe I should feel sorry for you, when Karla sees this....

  2. A is for Avenging Angel. Pay no attention to the six foot tall, axe-wielding, yellow bird in the corner.

  3. Okay, I just got done working out, not a good thing. My muscles were sore before I started laughing hysterically...


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