Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Friday, April 18, 2014

An Easter Weekend Day In The Life Of A Dog

Before getting started today, I'm co-hosting Hilary's weekly blog hop this week, so let's get to that. You can find Hilary at her blog Feeling Beachie. Her answers are over there in her latest blog. If you follow Hilary, you know that each Friday she posts a series of fill in the blank statements that she fills in at her blog, and invites you to play along in your own blog, or in comments. Here are this week's four statements:

1. I ________ require a lot _______
2. Sometimes I _____ if______
3. It is very unusual but I ______
4. Is it illegal to _______?

My answers:

1. I occasionally require a lot of patience.
2. Sometimes I get annoyed if I have to put up with irritating relatives. 
3. It is very unusual but I like the taste of Brussel sprouts.
4. Is it illegal to fall about laughing when your idiot ex-brother-in-law eventually kicks the bucket?

Now then, Easter is upon us, and for those of you who might be just finding me through Hilary's blog, I tend to do a lot of blogs from the point of view of a dog and a cat. So this Easter weekend, I'm doing the same, starting, as always, with the dog's point of view. I'll be back with my next blog from the point of view of the highest form of life on the planet (the cat, of course).

7:10 AM. Waking up. Had a long sleep last night. Dreamed of rabbits for some reason.

7:15 AM. Looking out front windows. Hmm, it's still snowing? Aren't we a month into spring?

7:17 AM. Examining calendar. Yes, we are about a month into spring, and lo and behold, you wouldn't know it to look outside.

7:25 AM. The human is coming downstairs. Hello, human! Have you seen the snow? Here I thought we were actually going to see spring, but not if you look out the window...

How about some breakfast?

7:30 AM. Wolfing down my breakfast as fast as I can. Unfortunately I seem to be ten seconds off my personal fastest record.

7:42 AM. The human lets me out the door for my morning run. Oh boy!

7:55 AM. Running through the back fields. Despite the snow, there are still a few signs of spring around. I see a robin on the fence. The bird sounds quite annoyed. Well, it's not my fault winter decided to take an encore bow.

8:10 AM.  Stopping by to say hello to Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor Of Squirrels. We sniff each other as usual in greeting.

8:12 AM. Spike and I compare intelligence notes on the movements of the enemy, known to the humans as squirrels. The enemy has eluded us both in recent confrontations, it turns out, but one of these days, we'll have the upper hand on those irritating little bastards....

8:14 AM. Spike and I discuss the odd status of the weather. He confirms that he has also seen robins, and they have expressed deep displeasure with the status of the snow. 

8:16 AM. We discuss the Easter weekend and the oddities of human customs. Neither of us quite understand the paradox of religious belief versus bunnies delivering chocolate.

8:25 AM. Spike and I part ways, agreeing to keep an eye out for any trace of the enemy.

8:45 AM. Heading home. Coming across a big pool of cold meltwater. Oh, I can't resist....

8:46 AM. Splash! Jump! Hop! Woof! Is there anything more fun than splashing around in the water?

8:50 AM. Thoroughly wet. Totally happy.

9:05 AM. Back home. The human opens the door for me as I walk up. Hello, human, I think I'll go lie by the fireplace for awhile to dry.... hey, wait a minute, what's with the holding me in place... oh, no! Not the Towel of Torment!!!

9:10 AM. The human has finished subjecting me to the perils of the Towel Of Torment. I retire to the living room to lie by the fireplace. Nothing like a good fire to warm me up...

1:40 PM. Waking up. Wow, did I sleep. Oh, no. I slept right through lunch. Missed a chance to mooch.

1:42 PM. No sign of the human. I guess she went out while I was dreaming of chasing squirrels.

2:10 PM. Looking outside. Oh, no... there he is! That annoying little bastard! The squirrel! 

2:11 PM. Barking my head off as the squirrel stares at me from the yard. He appears to be laughing. 

Oh, do I hate you. Hate, hate, hate, infinity hate you. One of these days, you're going to get what's coming....

2:30 PM. The human returns home. Where were you when I needed to get out and charge that squirrel?

5:15 PM. The human is helping herself to some of those chocolate Easter eggs. Human, isn't that supposed to wait for a couple of days? I know, you've got poor impulse control when it comes to chocolate.

6:45 PM. Have successfully mooched some garlic bread from the human while she's having dinner.

10:30 PM. The human is watching that movie that always comes on this time of year. Charlton Heston looks like he could really use a shave. At the very least, a trim. A cat could hide in that beard. 

You know, I think the filmmaker had it all wrong with this thing. The real stars of this film should be the dogs we saw halfway through barking at that Joshua guy.

11:30 PM. The human turns off the television after watching the nighttime news. Lots of stuff on political scandals and natural disasters and something called the Ebola virus. Nothing on the most nefarious foe the world has ever faced: squirrels.

Good night, human. I promise, I won't go anywhere near the Easter chocolate.

Besides, you put it in the fridge, and I haven't figured out how to get in there...


  1. First time visiting from Hilary's. Brussel sprouts get a bum rap. I like them, too. I always have! Great funnies! Now following you!

    ~Curious as a Cathy

  2. Can't comment as I'm still laughing at the Wizard of Oz cartoon.
    Jane x

  3. Demon dog looks like my Biscuit after she had 9 of her teeth pulled. :)

    She eats funny now, but her breath is much improved.

  4. I don't brussel sprouts very often but do enjoy them when I do.

  5. "I will go Baskerville on your ass." I've got some dog friends like that- glad they are my friends. LOL

  6. I love brussell sprouts!! nobody else in the house likes them, so I just have to cook them for myself.

    I can so so relate to that Wake Up mommy one. every day.

    and kids tend to find that one spot on the lawn that is nothing but a muddy mess too.

  7. Great photo finds! And the text, well, speaks for itself.
    Irritating relatives are just that, irritating. I guess therefore your no. 4 does not come as a huge surprise. Brussel sprouts - hated them for the better part of my life, since childhood. These days I seem to take a liking to them :)

  8. Poopyhead and I just got done going over your post. Great stuff and we laughed out loud. Some of these were killer funny. Thanks for the post.

  9. This post put the biggest smile on my face!! I needed that today - thank you! :)

  10. Love the canine jury--they are better judges of character than any human!

    One of these days, you should do a dog blog featuring Hamish, Watson, Bug, Sir Poops, Hair Ball, Fiona, and other Dogs of Blogs!

  11. @Cathy: thank you!

    @Jane and Chris: for the first time we have Toto's inner thoughts...

    @Diane: poor Biscuit!

    @Retired: it's a love it or hate it vegetable.

    @Lynn: I saw that one and knew it was perfect.

  12. @Rory: I've been writing this dog's point of view for awhile, and he loves the mud!

    @Claudia: when I count my sisters in the mix, those are extra annoying relations, but my idiot ex brother in law deserves a special place in hell.

    @Whisk: you're welcome!

    @Nicole: thanks and you're welcome!

    @Norma: I should see about having a go at that somehow!

  13. Thanks for co-hosting! I love brussel sprouts - especially the burnt kind

  14. I love the "I saw what you did to the chocolate bunny " one. :)

  15. I feel for the mommy in Mama! Mama! U awake?

  16. Can't stop laughing at the one with the horse chasing the dog!

  17. The dog and the horse could be playing. Things like that do happen. Besides, I really don't believe cats are more intelligent than dogs.

  18. Oh William William William you were doing great... loved your blank statement, especially idiot x-brother-in-law. Then you move to Easter, and one of your fabulous Day In The Life Of A Dog... great story line, fabulous photos and then you ruin it, with the statement of the higher life form being a cat ? ? ? ?
    Oh please !
    let me get a breath here hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    The Square Ones are somewhat sad about this statement but they love you even when you chose a cat over them.

    woof, The Square Ones
    cheers, parsnip

  19. I showed this post to our cats. That was a mistake. My computer lies shredded on my desk. Couldn't you have done the cat one first? Have you ever tried to put together a shredded computer? Sheesh!

  20. No thanks on the sprouts from me! We're finally seeing a little hint of spring around Montana...which means it's due to snow any day now!

  21. Oh he's obviously NOT a Beagle William.. if he was a Beagle he would have figured out how to open the fridge a long time ago, especially if there was chocolate in it :)

  22. @Hilary: I don't get why some people don't like them!

    @Kelly: It's such a cute puppy...

    @Cheryl: I think every mother's had one like that.

    @Auden: I've seen horses do that!

    @Mari: depends on the dog and the cat!

    @Parsnip: a cat is the ultimate form of life on the planet, infinity plus one fingers crossed behind the back.

    @Lowell: the cats will appreciate the next one.

    @Meradeth: today it is still dressing up in winter coat weather here.

    @Grace: a Beagle, yes. I picture this one as a shepherd or a lab.

  23. Oh, my! I kept laughing through the post! Thanks William!

  24. Hi there, thanks for the chuckle. I'm just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris


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