An Easter Weekend Day In The Life Of A Dog

Before getting started today, I'm co-hosting Hilary's weekly blog hop this week, so let's get to that. You can find Hilary at her blog Feeling Beachie. Her answers are over there in her latest blog. If you follow Hilary, you know that each Friday she posts a series of fill in the blank statements that she fills in at her blog, and invites you to play along in your own blog, or in comments. Here are this week's four statements:

1. I ________ require a lot _______

2. Sometimes I _____ if______

3. It is very unusual but I ______

4. Is it illegal to _______?

My answers:

1. I occasionally require a lot of patience.

2. Sometimes I get annoyed if I have to put up with irritating relatives. 

3. It is very unusual but I like the taste of Brussel sprouts.

4. Is it illegal to fall about laughing when your idiot ex-brother-in-law eventually kicks the bucket?

Now then, Easter is upon us, and for those of you who might be just finding me through Hilary's blog, I tend to do a lot of blogs from the point of view of a dog and a cat. So this Easter weekend, I'm doing the same, starting, as always, with the dog's point of view. I'll be back with my next blog from the point of view of the highest form of life on the planet (the cat, of course).

7:10 AM. Waking up. Had a long sleep last night. Dreamed of rabbits for some reason.

7:15 AM. Looking out front windows. Hmm, it's still snowing? Aren't we a month into spring?

7:17 AM. Examining calendar. Yes, we are about a month into spring, and lo and behold, you wouldn't know it to look outside.

7:25 AM. The human is coming downstairs. Hello, human! Have you seen the snow? Here I thought we were actually going to see spring, but not if you look out the window...

How about some breakfast?

7:30 AM. Wolfing down my breakfast as fast as I can. Unfortunately I seem to be ten seconds off my personal fastest record.

7:42 AM. The human lets me out the door for my morning run. Oh boy!

7:55 AM. Running through the back fields. Despite the snow, there are still a few signs of spring around. I see a robin on the fence. The bird sounds quite annoyed. Well, it's not my fault winter decided to take an encore bow.

8:10 AM.  Stopping by to say hello to Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor Of Squirrels. We sniff each other as usual in greeting.

8:12 AM. Spike and I compare intelligence notes on the movements of the enemy, known to the humans as squirrels. The enemy has eluded us both in recent confrontations, it turns out, but one of these days, we'll have the upper hand on those irritating little bastards....

8:14 AM. Spike and I discuss the odd status of the weather. He confirms that he has also seen robins, and they have expressed deep displeasure with the status of the snow. 

8:16 AM. We discuss the Easter weekend and the oddities of human customs. Neither of us quite understand the paradox of religious belief versus bunnies delivering chocolate.

8:25 AM. Spike and I part ways, agreeing to keep an eye out for any trace of the enemy.

8:45 AM. Heading home. Coming across a big pool of cold meltwater. Oh, I can't resist....

8:46 AM. Splash! Jump! Hop! Woof! Is there anything more fun than splashing around in the water?

8:50 AM. Thoroughly wet. Totally happy.

9:05 AM. Back home. The human opens the door for me as I walk up. Hello, human, I think I'll go lie by the fireplace for awhile to dry.... hey, wait a minute, what's with the holding me in place... oh, no! Not the Towel of Torment!!!

9:10 AM. The human has finished subjecting me to the perils of the Towel Of Torment. I retire to the living room to lie by the fireplace. Nothing like a good fire to warm me up...

1:40 PM. Waking up. Wow, did I sleep. Oh, no. I slept right through lunch. Missed a chance to mooch.

1:42 PM. No sign of the human. I guess she went out while I was dreaming of chasing squirrels.

2:10 PM. Looking outside. Oh, no... there he is! That annoying little bastard! The squirrel! 

2:11 PM. Barking my head off as the squirrel stares at me from the yard. He appears to be laughing. 

Oh, do I hate you. Hate, hate, hate, infinity hate you. One of these days, you're going to get what's coming....

2:30 PM. The human returns home. Where were you when I needed to get out and charge that squirrel?

5:15 PM. The human is helping herself to some of those chocolate Easter eggs. Human, isn't that supposed to wait for a couple of days? I know, you've got poor impulse control when it comes to chocolate.

6:45 PM. Have successfully mooched some garlic bread from the human while she's having dinner.

10:30 PM. The human is watching that movie that always comes on this time of year. Charlton Heston looks like he could really use a shave. At the very least, a trim. A cat could hide in that beard. 

You know, I think the filmmaker had it all wrong with this thing. The real stars of this film should be the dogs we saw halfway through barking at that Joshua guy.

11:30 PM. The human turns off the television after watching the nighttime news. Lots of stuff on political scandals and natural disasters and something called the Ebola virus. Nothing on the most nefarious foe the world has ever faced: squirrels.

Good night, human. I promise, I won't go anywhere near the Easter chocolate.

Besides, you put it in the fridge, and I haven't figured out how to get in there...

Tell Us Where You Hid The Diamonds, Mr. Kendall

One item of business to see to first. Check out our joint blog for a naughty Without A Word post. Now then, today I'm returning to co-host a Friday blog with Hilary Grossman, having had given her previous suggestions on the four questions she asks each Friday. You can find her blog at Feeling Beachie. Follow that link to see other answers to these questions.

So then, these things always involve four statements or questions with fill in the blanks. Here they are for this week:

1. Have you ________ yet?

2. I was born in ______

3. I have never _______, at least as far as I know.

4. I can't stand ________

So then, my answers to these questions and or statements, preferably without prodding from Mr. Bauer...

Have you been to the other side of the mountain yet? No, I'm enjoying the view hanging from the side of Mount Doom, but give me time...

I was born in a haze of hollering and yelling and someone cursing my father's name, and then got smacked on the bottom by a doctor who I've been chasing after ever since just to get even.

I have never known any such thing as an honest politician, at least as far as I know. It's all rumor and conjecture, based on wild stories of fictional accounts and deluded hopes.

I can't stand Rob Ford. I mean, have you been paying attention to the news?

There we have it. Now, about those diamonds... Did I say diamonds? Forget I mentioned anything about that.

Interrogation 101 With Hilary

Some business to see to before we get started. Go on over to Norma's blog for a sneak peek at a work in progress, something that's taking a lot of courage for her to say. And have a look if you will at our joint blog for a humour image post we're calling So That's What They Mean By Traditional Marriage?

Now then, there are questions to be faced today...

No, not those kind of questions....

Not that question either.

For quite awhile I've been following Hilary at Feeling Beachie. She and her husband live out on Long Island with their feline overlord and mistress Lucy, and she's got a book out called Dangled Carat, which you can find at Amazon. It's the story of she and her husband, a look at how they got together and how she converted a commitment phobic dude (Marc) into husband material. Here's a bit about it:

Hilary had gotten used to dating the commitment-phobic Marc, thirteen years her senior. They had a great relationship—why rush into things? She saw no need to pressure him for marriage, believing that when the time was right, he would propose. But after they had been together for four years, their friends decided to take matters into their own hands, pushing Marc to propose and making Hilary realize how much she really did want to marry the man that she loved. Unfortunately, Marc still wasn’t ready—and their friends’ meddling in the form of a faux engagement party led to a disastrous New Year’s Eve that brought their relationship to an inevitable turning point. In this relatable, lighthearted, and playful memoir, Hilary reminisces about her life before Marc—from the insecure and awkward teenage years she spent in a back brace and dealing with the loss of her father, to her early relationships and, finally, to the day she met Marc and realized that she really wanted to see him again. Through their first date—even though Hilary was technically seeing someone else at the time—and the ease of their early time together until Marc first decided that they were moving too quickly, up until that fateful New Year’s Eve, Hilary shares the details of their relationship and how Marc’s inability to commit led her to find an inner strength and confidence she didn’t know she possessed. For anyone who has ever dated a commitment-phobe, who has found their patience wearing thin with the one they love, or who has sat around wondering if he is ever going to pop the question while trying to remain the very picture of patience and grace, Hilary's humorous and honest story will hit home.

Each Friday she has a co-host with her blog, a Friday blog hop in which she takes four statements with places to fill in the blanks, and fills them in. This week she's asked me to co-host. So go on over to her blog when you're done here, check out her answers for this week, and if you don't already have her on follow, do so! She's a lot of fun. Besides, her Lucy is such an adorable ultimate form of life on the planet.

The Divine Miss Lucy

So then, here we go...

1. I can't believe that _______

2. To celebrate _____ I ______

3. The meaning of life is _______

4. I can't stand _________

And my answers:

1. I can't believe that fans of the Maple Leafs continue to delude themselves into believing their team will ever win a championship again. Give it up, people!

2. To celebrate a good day's climb I start thinking how to get down.

3. The meaning of life is best found while sitting at the top of the cliff, enjoying the breeze against your face.

4. I can't stand idiot ex-brothers-in-law (hello, Mike, you blowhard buffoon)

Go on over to Hilary and say hello! And one more item to see to before I go...

Over at Amazon, you can find Friday Girls by Cathy Olliffe-Webster, and starting today, for five days, it's free for downloads as an ebook. Here's a bit about it:

If Friday wasn't already your favourite day of the week, it will be after you've read Friday Girls.

Every Thursday night for more than a year, author Cathy Olliffe-Webster sat down in front of her computer and wrote a story for #FridayFlash, an Internet meme that involves some of the finest writers in the world. Stories are written and posted on blogs, where other writers (and fans of their work) can read, enjoy, and comment. It's a friendly, positive atmosphere and it encourages writers to stretch their literary muscles.

Cathy's stories took on a life of their own and she began to think of them as her "Friday Girls," mainly because they were published on Fridays, but also because they were usually about "girls."

These are stories that will touch your heart, make you smile, make you cry, make you think. They're just like you, the Friday Girls. They're just like all of us.  

Cathy can be found at her blog Cold Lake Cathy. She's a fellow Canuck, and she's a great deal of fun. I will be back on Sunday with a Remembrance Day blog. See you then!