Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, September 11, 2017

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the point of view of the dog and cat, starting as always with the hound...

7:06 AM. Waking up at home. Big stretch and a yawn. Slept well. 

7:08 AM. Sitting on the couch, looking outside. Clear skies. Sun’s coming up a lot later now than it was a couple of weeks ago. No frost on the ground, but there’s some fall colours in the trees. Seems like summer’s over. Oh well, I like fall. Just as much as I like winter. Just as much as I like spring. Just as much as I like summer. Which brings us full circle, doesn’t it?

7:12 AM. Sounds from upstairs. The human is up and about, which means very soon I should be getting breakfast. Oh, I do like breakfast! I could have breakfast for breakfast, breakfast for lunch, breakfast for dinner…

7:15 AM. Looking out the window. Watching the birds out on the grass. Just wait until I get out there, I’ll give you such a barking as you’ve never heard before.

7:23 AM. The human comes downstairs. Hello! How are you today? Slept well? Say, have you given any thought to breakfast? Because just between us, I’ve given a lot of thought to the subject, and am most anxious to get my morning meal.

7:25 AM. Wagging my tail as the human pours kibbles into my bowl.

7:26 AM. Licking my chops after wolfing down the whole bowlful. Yum yum yum!

7:28 AM. Leaving the human to her own breakfast, but requesting that she let me out.

7:29 AM. Sprinting out the back door and barking my head off at the birds.

7:30 AM. Have successfully sent the birds fleeing in all directions. Feeling quite satisfied.

7:42 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off, happy as a puppy who’s just come across an unchewed slipper.

7:57 AM. Trotting through the woodlands. Thinking better than to go visit that cranky cat, what with the way she left things off last time.

8:03 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hello, Spike!

8:04 AM. Spike and I greet each other in the standard manner of dogs, and get down to talking.

8:06 AM. I admit to Spike that I was a good dog earlier and refrained from intruding on the property of that grouchy feline. Yes, Spike, I’ve learned my lesson. At least until the next time, right?

8:09 AM. Spike and I confer on the notion that there’s a chill in the air and that fall can’t be that far off. Well, when the kids are all going back off to school, we’re running low on warm days after all, and let’s face it, it’s taking its time this morning to warm up.

8:15 AM. Spike and I agree to keep ourselves alert and ready in the afternoon for when the mailman comes. He needs a stern barking to every single time he shows up to dare intrude on our mailboxes after all. You know, Spike, I have no idea who pays these fiends money to leave unwanted envelopes in the boxes of our humans, but whoever they are, they must be just as evil as the mailmen themselves. Unless the mailmen are doing this of their own free time. That would be even more evil.

8:17 AM. Taking my leave of Spike. See you later!

8:33 AM. Returning home. Barking to alert the human to my return.

12:19 PM. Mooching a cheese sandwich from the human over lunch. Yum yum yum!

1:39 PM. Waking up out of a sound sleep on the lawn to the sound of a car on the road. Brief glimpse of the mailman’s car driving off. Wait a minute! Get back here! I haven’t barked at you yet!

1:40 PM. Barking regardless, even though the car’s now down the road and out of sight. Rats! He needs a thorough barking at every day from me, and all he got was me barking in the rear view mirror. I’ll just have to give him much worse tomorrow.

1:48 PM. Coming back inside. Sulking. Human? Did I tell you to wake me up before the mailman got here?

6:39 PM. Dinner with the human. She’s been nice enough to cut up some strips of beef for me. Oh, I do like that. Have I mentioned that, human? I like that a lot. As much as I like pancakes and lamb and hot dogs and pizza and... well, I could go on, but you get the gist of it.

8:22 PM. Lying in the living room, pondering the great mysteries of doggie existence. Is the wag of the tail for a dog the equivalent of the purr of a cat?

11:40 PM. The human is off to bed. Well, good night, human. I’ll stay down here and guard the house. I’m sure that evil mailman’s back at home right now, hanging from the roof of his cave, or whatever mailmen do, because between you and I, I don’t think mailmen are humans. He thinks he got away with not being barked at, but just wait until tomorrow.

Tomorrow’s a weekday, right?


  1. I love the way that first dog is smiling!

    Hope he catches that demonic mailman!

    1. The irony is the mailman isn't anywhere near as evil as Loki thinks he is.

  2. Love the sweetie that had her hair "did" and the first dogs smile.

    cheers, parsnip

  3. Several brought smiles. The hairdo was a winner.

  4. Okay but the guy across the street from me is a mailman and he has three dogs?

  5. This was awesome! It was a great way to start my morning.

    Michelle :)

  6. My new dog barks at the mailman...and the old lady across the street, or a squirrel down the block, or a leaf that just doesn't look right. It's been good times with him around lately.... :)

  7. Fake throw...LOL!
    Thank you
    I need the laughs.

  8. The dog helping under the car cracked me up.

  9. I had a load of good laughs with these, thanks William :)


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