Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Before we get started, some links for you to peruse. Norma's been under the weather in the last few days, but today has a new blog up, talking about Christmas with her grandfather. Take a look at AngryParsnip's Christmas decorations. Lynne has Fluffy and George debating Santa. Maria re-posts a blog on being addicted to reading. Go on over to Krisztina's blog for winter photography. If you're already tired of winter, check out Gina's look at Key West. Have a look at a wall of ice in this photoblog. And since this is a dog blog, we must check in with two rascal hounds. Whose adventure continues here.

Now then, Christmas is nearly upon us, but before then, we've got ourselves two dog and cat blogs to see to. As always, I'll start with the hound's point of view. And there'll be more dogs and cats to be found in my Christmas Eve blog...

7:15 AM. Waking up. Dreamed of a white Christmas. Of course, this being Canada, we generally do have white Christmases. 

7:20 AM. Doing my rounds of the house. The human is still upstairs. Checking the calendar. It's Christmas Eve today. I remember last year. The human confusing me to no end with Christmas trees in the house, the irritating nephews and nieces showing up and using me to pull a sled....

7:35 AM. Good morning, human? How are you on this fine day? How about some Christmas Eve morning breakfast? You can even mix fruitcake in with my kibbles...

Except if it's Aunt Bernice's fruitcake. I swear, that woman makes something with the consistency of cement...

7:42 AM. Wolfing down breakfast. No fruitcake, but kibbles are always welcome.

7:45 AM. The human tells me she'll be having Christmas dinner over at her sister's place tomorrow. Asks if I'd like to go along.

Well, after careful consideration, someone must hold down the fort here. Send my regrets along, but any chance to keep a wide berth between myself and your nephews and nieces must be seized upon.

7:50 AM. Out the door for a run. Feels fresh and crisp and cold today. Is there anything in the world better than winter?

8:10 AM. Racing through the snow in the backfields, barking my head off, having a glorious time.

I wonder if that irritable cat is out today. I should wish her a Merry Christmas. Peace on Earth and goodwill to dogs and cats and all that...

9:15 AM. Back home. The human's car is gone. Uh oh. Sniffing around to estimate how long she's been gone. Did she still have last minute Christmas shopping to do?

9:20 AM. Sitting on back porch. Spotting movement at the treeline. I wonder if it's that annoying squirrel. 

9:21 AM. No, it's the cat from down the road. I approach with great caution, wagging my tail to show my friendly intentions. Note to self: if she hisses, back off. I've been clawed by her before...

9:22 AM. Merry Christmas, kitty cat. How are you this fine day?

9:23 AM. I roll over on my back exposing myself to possible attack to indicate that I seek no hostilities. The cat looks at me with a suspicious glare. Come now, my feline neighbour... can't we let bygones be bygones? Sing carols together? Conspire together to steal Santa's milk and cookies? You can have the milk and I'll take the cookies....

9:24 AM. The cat asks what I'm up to. What? Why do I have to be up to something?

She walks away in a huff. 

At least this time she didn't swat me with her claws.

10:48 AM. Spotting the evil annoying squirrel running among the trees. I bolt right for the nearest tree and bark furiously. The evil annoying squirrel being an evil annoying squirrel, he chatters and taunts me from high up on a branch.

Is he giving me the finger????

11:00 AM. The squirrel continues to taunt me from his safe refuge high above.

Where's a good chainsaw when you need one?

One of these days, squirrel, you and I will have a reckoning.

11:03 AM. My barking is interrupted by the sound of the car returning. It must be the human!

11:04 AM. The human's taking packages and bags out of the backseat. She looks exhausted....

11:05 AM. The human tells me it was beyond crazy at the mall in town. Last minute shoppers were everywhere.

At least you didn't leave your last minute shopping for six hours from now...

11:12 AM. Sniffing at the bags. Something in there smells distinctly like premium dog biscuits and doggie toys.

2:45 PM. Waking up from good nap. Fireplace always makes me sleepy this time of year. The human is baking. Brightly coloured packages are under that Christmas tree...

6:50 PM. Dinner time! The human is having something insanely delicious smelling... she calls it beef bourguignon. I do get some beef chunks in my bowl along with dinner rolls dipped in stew sauce. She tells me that stews are the sort of meal a dog would make a mess of.

Are we never going to get past the spaghetti incident?

8:05 PM. The human has Christmas music on. Metallica is performing Silent Night. Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

9:20 PM. The human heads off to make a call. There's a plate of slices of something called stollen on the coffee table. Smells delicious... I wonder if she'll miss one slice?

9:21 PM. Mmmmmm.... tasty tasty tasty... is that a hint of rum in this cake?

10:05 PM. Lying flat on my back. Oh.... just how much rum was in that cake?

11:50 PM. The human is turning out the lights for the night. She bids me a good night and tells me I've been a very good doggie this year. Despite the spaghetti incident?

I'll see you in the morning, human. If that Santa person shows up in the middle of the night, I'll advise him not to eat anything with rum in it....


  1. Just the best post ever.
    I love the Gud Dug he is just so happy.
    Love the photos as always !

    cheers, parsnip

  2. Oh gosh, silly silly pooches, love it all! The 20-second sandwich question is classic, and love the Rottweiler snap, sheesh dying of cuteness!

  3. I'm with the dog; I'll drink, or eat, anything with rum in it!
    Cute post, William!

  4. I've often wondered if squirrels were shooting birds, too. LOL!

    Hugs and chocolate!

  5. The rum incident reminds me of a cat we had...she got into some whisky.Cleared the curtains and rail in record speed.
    Jane x

  6. Dog Ness Monster, huh?

    And Jimmy DIDN'T fall into the well???

  7. I have a picture of my dog swimming in the river looking just like that dog with its head peaking out of the water. :)

  8. @Whisk: thank you!

    @Parsnip: thanks!

    @LondonLulu: it's epic cuteness!

    @Lorelei: thank you!

    @Shelly: they seem the type!

    @Jane and Chris: that would be fun!

    @Norma: not according to Vladimir!

    @Kelly: they do love the water. Except if it's a bath.

  9. Another fun dog post, William. I especially like the vicious Rottweiler!

  10. There's something magical about tiny kittens and giant dogs. :)

  11. Got a good laugh from the pictures, as always :) The Power Pointer one is perfection!

  12. The two pictures of the white dogs with glasses are adorable. I want those dogs!

  13. Great post. It had me smiling most of the time. The one with the vicious rottweiler is so true. My daughter had a rottweiler. He thought he was a 125 pound lap dog.

  14. Oh no. I never knew DUI meant Dog Under the Influence but the squirrels better watch out!


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