Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, April 7, 2012

A Day In The Life Of The Easter Bunny

It's Easter tomorrow, and so I thought I'd do another funny image blog, this one from the point of view of a certain imaginary critter (Oops, maybe I should have warned you not to let the kids see this before I said the imaginary word. Now you can explain the truth to the kiddies about who the real Easter bunny is). And so I offer you toons, pics, and editorial cartoons, with the narrative point of view of an animal that knows far too much about quantum physics and the space-time continuum....

6 PM Greenwich Time: All preparations made for nighttime journey across world. Transporter technology on standby, ready to put to work. Tesseract-dimension bag filled with chocolate eggs. Carrots for dinner.

6:30 PM. Off and running. Must leave behind ongoing academic writing on the definitive work about the parallels and differences of Christian and Pagan tradition in regards to Easter. Too busy tonight to scribble a few notes in the work in progress. Note to self: find interesting title for book. Will sell better. Maybe The Easter Bunny Versus The Vatican? Inquire with attorney as to if the Vatican can sue me.

8 PM. Trip continues. Chocolate eggs left behind throughout France and Belgium. Have avoided leaving anything at the Sarkozy residence. The President of France reminds me of an ogre.

10 PM. Ran into migrating birds over eastern Russia. Had words with them. Note to self: spatial teleporting best done closer to ground. Yes, it can take longer, but dropping fifteen thousand feet isn't fun.

2 AM. Starting trip east across Pacific. Had to stop for carrots in Melbourne. Will need extra energy to make teleport jumps across ocean. Wouldn't mind carrot cake right about now.

3 AM. Late night stop at carrot patch on Hawaii. Tasty carrots here. Yum yum. Off to Easter Island, then South America.

4 AM. Skirted over South America to start my rounds at Falkland Islands. Spatial teleportation apparently picked up by British and Argentine navies, confusing them. Have inadvertantly caused a shooting war. Oops.

5 AM. Easter morning in Rio. Middle of the night local time. Anxiety between locals over war to the south. Going about rounds as covertly as possible, leaving chocolate behind. Note to self: call spin doctors to see if we can deny everything.

8 AM. Arrival in North America after rounds finished in Central America. Shot at by Floridian. Teleported away. Will deal with errant Floridian later. Work to do.

8:10 AM. Passing by Disney properties near Orlando. Saw Mickey Mouse and Daisy Duck in compromising position. Will not be able to erase that from my mind anytime soon.

8: 40 AM. Paused for a bite to eat in Kansas. Saw political sign. Wondering what a Newt is.

9:20 AM. More chocolate left in various locales. Currently darting about California. Paused to catch breath. CNN on late night television. Britain and Argentina at full scale war. Will make a bet on the outcome when I get home. Rule Britannia, and all that. After all, they kicked ass last time.

9:40 AM. Campaign sign in Wyoming. What's a Mitt?

10 AM. More chocolate left throughout Oregon and Washington states. Brief call to attorney. Querying as to whether or not I may have caused a war.

10:40 AM. Onwards and upwards. Spreading chocolate eggs in hiding spots throughout mid west. Feeling a bit peckish. Will look into carrot supply.

10:41 AM. Out of carrots. Must decide what to do. Can hold out until duties take me into Canada.

11:10 AM. Passed into Nova Scotia. Meeting up with old friend Arbor Day Badger. Very tired. He's cranky about being woken up before dawn local time. Asked for carrots. Only has turnips. Of course. Reason Arbor Day Badger isn't well known is because of his fondness for leaving turnips everywhere each Arbor Day. Hate turnips.

11:15 AM. Solved carrots problem. Found a healthy stock of carrots at a local warehouse. Left chocolate eggs as payment.

1 PM. Duties at an end in northern Yukon. Starting process of teleporting back home across Atlantic. Heard news. British PM promises to bring Argentina to its knees. Very tired. Home to a breakfast of carrots and eggs, and long sleep. Note to self: if Anderson Cooper finds me, deny everything.


  1. Anderson Cooper found the Smurf Village, so he can find the Easter Bunny's place. It'll be on the air by tomorrow night!

    Love the Grim reaper cartoon. Stealing it.

    So the Easter Bunny started a war, did he? I love this!

  2. Norma's not the only one stealing the Grim Reaper cartoon ... wait ... if we're stealing it, are we supposed to tell you?

  3. That was a joy to read! Enjoy your holiday tomorrow!

  4. Hey... I like Turnips !
    Clever post...

    cheers, parsnip

  5. Oh dear, I didn't realize you're so busy this year! Loved the reference to carrot cake and the picture of the bad Easter bunny. That can't be you? That cartoon by Granlund says it all, but with all the repair work this world needs, please be careful inhaling fumes while gluing.

  6. Very clever!! Loved it!

    This is the first year that Jamie is questioning the authenticity of the Easter Bunny. I'm still playing along, though.

    Jamie gave up chocolate for Lent...daddy told her that she could have chocolate for breakfast. When should we expect you over? LOL

  7. I hope bunny rests as he has to do it all again next week. It is Easter here in Cyprus 15th. :D

    Great post, William!

  8. I like the picture of Godzilla with the Marshmellow rabbits. Happy Easter!

  9. @Eve: well, I do have an eyepatch somewhere...

    @Glynis: ah, yes, the orthodox calendar differs in dating. Have a good one!

    @Deb: Godzilla will be returning again to these pages soon....

  10. I like the Godzilla and the Bunny peeps. Did you take that picture? Happy Easter, Sir Wills.

  11. Oh. good--Godzilla's coming back!

  12. Dear Easter Bunny. Me and Charlie think you may have missed coming over to us as our baskets are still full of your special carrots but no chocolate in sight.

    :-) Take care

  13. Hilarious, thank you! Have a great Easter :)

  14. Now this was too funny of blog post, William (Sir Wills). Got a kick out of the sillyness, and the silly cartoons, especially the Godzilla eating the Bunny peeps. :) But, I think my fav cartoon in this blog post was of Death being out of work. It implied that Death was out of work cus of the true reason of this holiday, of Easter-Jesus' resurection. Happy Easter and Holidays to you and to everyone, here. :)

  15. Love it!!!!
    Alex & I wish you all a wonderful holiday!

  16. Made me chuckle....

    Thanks as always for stopping by High Heels and Hot Flashes.

  17. I just saw that real giant bunny pic on FB. It's huge!!

  18. Yeah, the Arbor Day Badger can keep the turnips. Yuck! The dressed up pets are no joke... I saw several photos on Facebook this morning from friends who put bunny ears on their dogs. At least a cat would claw your face off before allowing that to happen.

  19. My cats saw your blog. They are insisting I stop checking in on it. I shall continue to do it though. Discreetly.

  20. That's one busy bunny! Love the picture of Bush with the bunny, haha!

  21. The kids are back in school this morning and the EB is returning to the drop site to reclaim some of the loot she regrets leaving.

  22. That Godzilla pic is great. And omgosh is that one bunny real??? That is unbelievable.
    So you don't like Gump, eh, William? I'm afraid we can't be friends anymore then.
    J/K My mom doesnt like him or the film either. To each his own. :)

  23. I did see I was greatly outnumbered, PK!

  24. Hope you enjoyed Easter. Love all these pics, esp the ones with the presidents! And the huge bunny is really cute. My kids would love him!

  25. William, I just tagged you in a 7 Meme challenge. Hope you are game to play. Please check out my blog for details. Take care!

  26. Note to self: borrow Santa's radar - no wait, don't want to remember it all.

    hahaha Way cute

  27. Couldn't decide which cartoon I loved best, LOL! But the kitty in pink brought a special laugh (as I'd dressed Chena is purple one year.) Looking forward to your cat post. (Er, before Bush invaded Iraq we were quite fat here.)

  28. We'll just say it, Mr. Kendall... you're most disturbing indeed.

  29. Just had a very good laugh! You could make that into a comic book/graphic novel!


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