Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, January 10, 2015

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Some links before I get started today. Norma had a passage at her Wordpress blog. Yesterday having had been a Friday, Parsnip had a Square Dog Friday post. Cheryl has been dealing with some sad impending news about one of her cats. Shelly had a wrapup for her holiday Silly Santa tale. Krisztina had a recipe at her blog. And the Whisk had a Friday question.

Now then, it is time once again to have ourselves the dog and cat points of view in these pages, starting as always with the dog first.

7:45 AM. Waking up. Big stretch. Dreamed of chasing squirrels. For some reason the little buggers got away. 

7:52 AM. Good morning, human! Top of the morning to you, or is it too early in the year to start with an Irish turn of phrase? Say, tell me... have you considered getting breakfast together?

7:58 AM. Wolfing down breakfast. Yum yum yum yum!

I'm still off my all time record for finishing it fastest. I must be slipping. Maybe it's a winter thing.

8:04 AM. Out the door for my run, barking my head off. Life as a dog is a life for me. Which helps, of course, seeing as how I am a dog.

8:28 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. We greet each other in the customary fashion of all dogs by sniffing at each other's hindquarters. Don't ask.

8:32 AM. Spike and I discuss movements of the enemy. We agree on the theory that the squirrels are gathering nuts and seed from feeders for some nefarious purpose. Perhaps it's to compete with Amway salesmen for most obnoxious unwanted visitors to homes. Perhaps it's for world domination.

8:35 AM. Spike informs me his human broke her New Year's resolution to not eat chocolate two days into the year. I wonder why humans make such resolutions. I also wonder what chocolate tastes like, but apparently it's not good for doggies.

8:43 AM. Spike and I part ways after agreeing to keep an eye out for the nefarious deeds of those annoying squirrels. If they're out for world domination, we must stop them. It's in our sacred duty as dogs.

8:58 AM. Passing by the house where that cranky cat lives. I decide to pop on by and see if she's outside.

9:01 AM. No, she's inside, but she's there behind that window, hissing and yelling at me. Come on, cat, you know I'll never give up on the idea that one day you and I might get along. I mean, really, if the Montagues and Capulets could get along after... whatever happened in that story, I wasn't really paying attention when the human was watching it. I was too busy watching the fan spin in circles.

9:03 AM. Great. The cat is giving me the finger again. I wonder what's got her whiskers tied up in a proverbial knot.

9:06 AM. Departing the property. Cats. Are they ever going to be understandable?

9:28 AM. Back home. Light snow falling. Barking as I arrive to alert the human to let me in.

9:29 AM. Hello, human! Pleased to see you! I've had my morning exercise. I think a nap is in order. Unless you're baking?

9:33 AM. Circling around three times in the living room by the fireplace before settling down. Nice and toasty warm in here. It should put me right to sleep.

11:55 AM. Waking up. Weird dreams. Dreamed of chasing a porcupine... despite the fact that I know better than to chase porcupines. I know that one from bitter experience.

Well, who says dreams have to make sense?

12:05 PM. The human is in the midst of making lunch. Soup and sandwiches. Well, I don't think she'll let me have soup, but I can certainly mooch for some sandwiches, right?

12:10 PM. Have successfully used the sad eyes trick to get the human to give me a cheese sandwich. Yum yum yum!

4:55 PM. Waking up from second nap of day. A look outside. Sun's already down, but the lights are on outside. Hmmm, we're getting a lot of snow.

6:32 PM. Dinner with the human. I delightfully chow down on some meatloaf. Yum yum yum!

8:20 PM. The human puts a DVD on. I wonder what she's going to watch. Just as long as it's not Old Yeller. I can't stand watching a tragedy.

8:52 PM. We're watching that space thriller thing. The team of misfits with the goofball who for some reason ends up becoming a leader, the green skinned woman with that temper, the weird big guy with serious anger management issues, the walking talking tree, and the cranky raccoon.

Human, are you aware that raccoons don't actually talk English?

Come to think of it, why do all these aliens speak in the same language as each other?

9:35 PM. I'm confused. Why is Ronan such a drag to be around? Was he not happy when he was a child? Didn't he have a dog? Maybe if he got bellyrubs once in awhile he wouldn't be a cranky crankpants.

And what happened to that dog in the astronaut outfit we saw earlier?

10: 12 PM. Okay, so all's well that ends well, so to speak, but that still doesn't answer my concerns. Shouldn't this movie have been about that dog in the astronaut costume instead?

11:35 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human. I might be up later on to check on you. Though I am considering calling that production studio and giving them a bark of my mind.


  1. That first one is SOOOOOOOO true. So true.

    Thanks for the shout out. Happy weekend.

  2. As usual, funny pictures and a nice story of the dog's day. Woof!

  3. Love love love the dogs !

    cheers, parsnip

  4. The storyteller talking about the evil vacuum is my favorite!

  5. You have a very good understanding of the nature of dogs (and cats!). Love all these! But I'm still not getting another dog. Yet. Our two cats are enough of a problem!

  6. So...the dog doesn't get Guardians of the Galaxy? Has he ever met a raccoon?

    I'll bet hiking his leg on Groot would get him into serious trouble!

  7. @Whisk: thank you!

    @Lorelei: thanks!

    @Parsnip: aren't they cute?

    @Cheryl: I've seen several variations on that one over time.

    @Lowell: cats rule!

    @Norma: I think the dog's right. Ronan never had belly rubs.

  8. Paranoia is sometimes the state of reality. LOL

  9. Dog sled starter kit ... Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a bone! Hahahahahaha!

  10. Fun post! Thanks for this, William!

  11. Well if the dark side has cookies... ;)

  12. My dog has a MUCH more boring day than that! Mostly it's sleep and staring out the front window! Oh...and begging for treats.


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