Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, January 12, 2015

A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Before we get started today, some links to see to. Yesterday having had been a Sunday, we had a Snippet Sunday post. Norma had turn of the year reflections.  Parsnip had a tennis post. Eve wrote about blogging rules. Krisztina had a home decor post. The Whisk had something to worry about. And Mark wrote about winter.

Today we get the cat's point of view!

7:25 AM. Slowly waking up. Staring up at the ceiling. Contemplating breakfast. Where is that staff of mine?

7:36 AM. Well there you are, staff. How about we get ourselves started on breakfast? And don't even think of field rations, because you know I hate field rations.

7:39 AM. For some reason, the staff seems to delight in giving me field rations despite my many demonstrations of my dislike for them. I sigh in dismay and walk away.

7:53 AM. The staff is on her way out off to that work place she goes to. Where ever that might be. As opposed to spending all day catering to my every whim. Well, at least I'm inside, as opposed to stuck outside all day.

8:12 AM. Staring outside, watching the flying lunches at the bird feeder. Somewhere in the distance I can hear the barking of that annoying dog from down the road.

8:26 AM. Eating some of the field rations. 

8:53 AM. Back on the windowsill to look outside. How long is it until the staff gets home?

9:00 AM. Oh, wonderful... it's that annoying dog on my property. He's looking as dimwitted as ever, I see. Dogs usually are.

9:01 AM. Hissing and screeching my disdain for the dog. Go away! Leave! Vamoose! Scram!

9:03 AM. Expressing my disdain in the harshest of ways. Vile, vile hound! Begone! To borrow a phrase from the Bard, a plague on both your houses!

9:06 AM. Finally. There he goes. Don't come back, dog! I can't stand the sight of you!

9:25 AM. Light snow falling outside. I should see what the weather forecast is.

9:27 AM. The dimwit with the Weather Network is panicking and talking about SnowApocaMaggedon coming this weekend. He's telling everyone to be prepared to eat the dead if need be.

And weather forecasters wonder why we find them so ridiculous.

12:26 PM. Waking up from nap. Feeling nice and toasty. I see the snow continues out there.

12:43 PM. Sigh. One of the many reasons I dislike having my staff go off to work. There's no one around to give me milk on demand.

2:31 PM. Burrowing under the covers in the staff's bed. Of course, for some strange reason she made it this morning... I don't really know why

2:53 PM. Engaged in a spirited bout of upending the scatter rugs in the upstairs hall. Well, I must amuse myself in some fashion while the staff is away, and for some reason she stores the balls of yarn where I can't get at them.

5:15 PM. Front door opens. Staff comes in. Well hello there, staff, did you by chance bring me back any catnip or other worthy tributes?

6:37 PM. The staff and I are having dinner. Lamb certainly agrees with me, particularly with milk on the side. For some strange reason, the staff insists on having cauliflower with her meat.

7:06 PM. Carefully supervising the staff while she washes dishes. A staff like mine requires close supervision, after all.

7:25 PM. The staff settles in with a DVD. What are we watching, staff? Tell me it stars a cat.

7:27 PM. Oh, it's that movie with Richard Gere playing a reporter annoying the impending bride Julia Roberts for a couple of hours.

Well, at least this film features a cat.

8:06 PM. Poor Chris Meloni. His character doesn't even get that he's not going to get the girl. Well, the girl who's the star of the movie.

9:17 PM. Movie's almost done, happy ending, the happy couple get married... and yet the cat still gets called a traitor by Richard Gere. For letting Julia Roberts into the apartment? Staff, we need to get the director to amend that.

11:17 PM. Watching the national news with the staff. It seems that forecaster from the Weather Network has been put on indefinite mental health leave after suggesting Donner Party recipes to get through the winter. 

11:32 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff. I'll be up in the night, no doubt. And before I forget, you do realize there's little point in making that bed in the morning since I'll just burrow under the covers anyway, right?


  1. As I'm scrolling down through this post, laughing out loud, a kitty is laying across my arm and partially on my keyboard making it very hard to get anything done! And if I ignore her too long, I get a gentle pat from a paw to let me know I don't have much time left to live!

  2. Ah, great way to start the week--multiple Grumpy Cat!

  3. Too funny. These images made my day!

  4. Yes, grumpy cat hates everyone. Now we need someone to photoshop a smile on grumpy cat and see if he can pass off a happy day! :)

  5. I thought the little kitty with the mustache looked like Groucho Marx. Great post as usual.

  6. @Lowell: tending to the demands of kitties overrules everything else.

    @Norma: she's such a cutie!

    @Auden: thank you!

    @Diane: I have seen photoshopped smiles on her, but it just doesn't feel real!

    @Shelly: he or she does look like Groucho!

  7. Love me Love me not...
    That one is so perfect.

    cheers, parsnip

  8. ha! Kill with his brain... uh oh....

  9. The mirror one made me laugh especially. I'm rather amazed that you have yet to run out of these memes, though I'm glad you haven't :)

  10. I knitted myself a onesie! I love it.

  11. The second photo cracked me up -- Talk about personifying my Chena! And that was one fat cat staring up, LOL-- don't know where you find these captions but they made my evening! Thanks! (Um, Cats rule!)

  12. The kitten in Grandma's sweater is adorable!


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