Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A Day In The Life Of A Dog



7:50 AM. Have awakened at some point past the crack of dawn. Wondering what that expression means.


8:10 AM. Human comes downstairs and bids me good morning. And good morning to you too, human. Incidentally, you still have bed head, so you'll want to run a brush through that hair.


8:15 AM. Human pours me a whole bowl full of yummy yummy kibbles. My very favourite! Yum yum yum! Of course, I must gorge myself on it...


8:25 AM. Out the door and on the go for my first run of the day. Spotting squirrel crossing back yard. Chase squirrel! Bark endlessly! I am such a lucky doggie...


8:45 AM. Have decided enough is enough, having had chased the squirrel up a tree. The stupid pest isn't going to come down. Just up there chattering away at me as if he's outraged at the intrusion. Time to walk away, continue my morning run.

Squirrels are so stupid.


9:15 AM. Encounter with cat. Have crossed paths with her before. Remembering getting swatted across the snout by her last time. Not pleasant at all.


9:16 AM. What's the matter, cat? Can't we all just get along? Here, I'll go first and sniff your....

Hey! That hurt!


9:17 AM. Have withdrawn from cat after she clawed me on the leg. All I did was try to say hello like all dogs do...

She's hissing at me to tell me off.  Cats. Can't figure them out at all....


10:15 AM. Have returned home after my walkabout around the back forty. Human having tea and cookies in kitchen. Time to mooch. Or steal one while she's not looking. Either works for me.


10:20 AM. Have managed to mooch a cookie from the human. Yum yum yum!


10:35 AM. Time for nap. Barking at squirrels and annoying cats has me knackered.


12:55 PM. Wake up from nap. Human finishing lunch dishes. Wait a minute... I missed a chance to mooch at lunch?


1:05 PM. Sulking about missing lunch. Should only last five more minutes. We do have a short attention span after... hey, there's a squirrel outside!


1:06 PM. Look at the little devious bastard. Sitting out there on the deck, taunting me. If there wasn't glass between you and me right now, buddy, why, I'd....


1:07 PM. I would swear that little bastard is giving me the finger.


1:08 PM. Pacing back and forth at deck door. Devious little bastard continues to stare at me, rubbing his tiny hands together as if mocking me. Plotting demise of devious little bastard.


1:09 PM. Human comes in, and tells me to stop barking at the squirrel.

But human! He's right there! I cannot allow that to stand! It goes against the canine code!


1:15 PM. Have gone back into the kitchen. Maybe if I take a nap, the devious little bastard will be gone by the time I wake up.

Wait a minute... I just woke up from a nap.

1:35 PM. Returning into living room. The devious little bastard is still there, laughing at me.

You won't laugh so much when I get outside, squirrel....


2:20 PM. Human lets me outside for awhile. Rushing out to find that squirrel. Teach him what happens when you annoy a dog....


2:21 PM. This is perplexing. The squirrel is gone from the deck. Where did he go?


2:35 PM. No trace of the squirrel to be found. Will pace around the house in circles so that I can be seen by the enemy wherever he may be. Will not tolerate him coming up to my house anymore. I have duties as a guard dog to live up to, after all.


3:35 PM. Human calls me in. Still no trace of the squirrel.


3:50 PM. Human having afternoon tea. Manage to mooch some scones. Yum yum yum....


5:55 PM. Human should be making dinner by now. Wondering why she's up in shower. Will have to ask.


6:25 PM. Human comes downstairs, dressed to the nines, as she puts it. Looks like she's going somewhere fancy. Pours me bowl of kibbles. Yum yum yum! Start eating. Human mentions something about going to wedding. Not really paying attention. Too busy eating.

Finished up. Human heading out the front door. Says bye bye.

Hey, wait, human. What about your dinner?

I need to mooch something off your dinner plate too!


To Be (somewhat) Continued....


17 comments:

  1. Okay...why is it that the dogs in your blogs come off as being really, really stupid. A lot of dogs are going to protest such a portrayal!

    I can relate to the pups having trouble getting their day started....

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  2. Biggest annoyance now that we have a family dog...it wants to eat everything!!! Dogs are exactly like toddlers...only mine is much bigger, stronger, and has sharp teeth!

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  3. @Norma: well, I am a cat person... though I do like dogs!

    They do get distracted very, very easily...

    And yes, that's me getting my day started...

    @Krisztina: they're trying to dissect whatever they're chewing on...

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  4. Adorable but we have to know what's going to happen....

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  5. You find the best photos... Love the kitty stuck to the big gug dug !
    Not all dogs are bonkers.
    Love the Scottie shot !
    I saw a clip where a herd of Scottie joined a line dancing class. Mayhem ensued in a good way.

    cheers, parsnip

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  6. I adore dogs, but having spent more time than I ever imagined at our animal shelter, even I have to admit pooches can get really bonkers (love them anyway though:)

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  7. I'm kind of envious William, I'd kind of like to have that sort of day, mooching for food and chasing squirrels doesn't sound half bad haha!

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  8. Loved it, William. These were cute pictures as usual!

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  9. Humans are silly, aren't they, doggies?

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  10. Well, Bob for one must have aced his Safe Running course. He's got that left turn down pat!

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  11. @Eve: you'll find out soon enough!

    @Parsnip: no, not all dogs are bonkers... but a good number are!

    @LondonLulu: they're bonkers in a loveable way!

    @Grace: there are days I wouldn't mind it myself!

    @Lorelei: thank you!

    @Scarlett and James, yes, we are silly...

    @Cheryl: He did!

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  12. I hope this comment sticks. Having computer issues tonight. Only have half a screen.

    This was funny. Love the last picture.

    Hugs and chocolate,
    Shelly

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  13. I can relate to the coffee one. ;) And the kissing skills one is hysterical!

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  14. Delightful pictures. I especially like the St. Bernard wearing a kitten.

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  15. Loved the cat encounter! Poor dog just can't understand cats don't say hello quite the same way;).

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  16. @Shelly: thanks!

    @Kelly: thank you!

    @Lynn: they're adorable!

    @Gregory: thanks for stopping by!

    @Maria: the poor dog indeed!

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