Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, November 5, 2012

Stumbling Towards The Finish Line

"Hell, I never vote for anybody. I always vote against." ~ W.C. Fields

"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." ~ Plato

"Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel." ~ John Quinton

"Don't vote, it only encourages them." ~ Billy Connolly

"Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better just to change the locks." ~ Doug Larson

"And so we had decided that the second in line to the Chief Executive would be called the Vice-President, after dismissing other suggestions such as Junior President, Mini-Prez, and the Congressional Jester. And we were certain that the Vice-President would retain the dignity of  the office, and could be counted on to never lose his temper and go shoot someone. Though to be honest, I must admit we should keep an eye on that Aaron Burr. He does tend to get angry easily." ~ John Adams, 1802.

"Mr. President, the Vice-President shot a lawyer in the face." ~ Secret Service Agent, February 13th, 2006.

Well, all things come to an end, good and bad. And so here we are; tomorrow the elections take place south of the border. After what has been an endless ordeal of attack ads, primaries, conventions, and speeches for months on end, there'll finally be an end to it.

Unless the lawyers get involved and appeal everything.

Rumor has it that Dick Cheney, the former Vice-President and Dark Lord of the Sith, who has spent much of the last four years annoying President Obama at every opportunity, has decided to stay quiet this year and spend the day playing a game he hasn't played in quite a long time. Those of you who have read The Most Dangerous Game might know it. Obviously the lawyer he's invited up to his ranch has never read it.

Here at the end, the editorial cartoonists have been racing the clock, down to the wire, presenting their take on the madness that is an election campaign. And check out our joint page, where we're having fun with the theme in a Without A Word blog...

And it is madness. Particularly how the Republican party, in a number of key election battles, seem to have allowed themselves to be hijacked by lunatics who have a profoundly dim view of women (Todd Akin of Missouri, I'm speaking of you) or a complete disregard of basic scientific principles (sorry, Paul Broun, the Earth is in fact much, much older than just a few thousand years of age).

Governor Mittens has been busy fending off the fact checkers, working in vain to persuade voters he's not out of touch, and keeping The Sneer Incarnate (otherwise known as Paul Ryan) quiet.

Oh, and infuriated by a cranky hurricane that took the wind out of his sails while simultaneously wrecking havoc with the Eastern seaboard...

At every turn, President Obama and Governor Mittens have been jockeying for position in the last days leading up to the election. Hurricane Sandy did provide something of an unusual October Surprise (Stephen Colbert suggested that hurricanes may have a liberal bias), allowing the President a chance to be Presidential (even scoring bi-partisan credit with Republican New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who months ago told GOP organizers to go away and leave him alone), whilst throwing a monkey wrench into the Mittens campaign... 

Tomorrow is the big day. We all know who this guy will be voting for...

Though in fairness, C. Montgomery is a much warmer guy than the Mittbot 2000.

With that, to my American friends, get out there and vote. Seriously, we're all counting on you not to let a repeat of the Florida debacle of 2000 to ever happen again. I leave you until next time (when this had better be settled) with one final thought.

The first pundit who utters the words dangled chads will be throttled.


  1. This has been a long election and I am grumpy. The fact that Obama spent his whole presidental term campaigning might be a factor.

  2. I, for one, will be very glad when this is all over with...I'm really getting sick and tired of the back and forth...

    I DON'T CARE!! I just hope the right man gets in and you probably know who I'm talking about...

  3. Well, partner, if Romney wins, I'll be in touch. We'll be looking for a place to live somewhere in Canada where the winters aren't TOO bad.

    As for Todd Akin, Cheney should take HIM hunting. He'd be doing Missouri a big favor!

  4. "Don't vote, it only encourages them." ~ Billy Connolly That's my opinion, too!

  5. I'm not sure what's more exciting...the end of this political debacle or the Mayan Calendar ending. Either way, Santa is almost here.

  6. I'm with Norma! If Romney wins, I'm moving to Canada!!

  7. I loved this post, even though I couldn't get all the pictures in as usual, but the ones I did Wonderful stuff!

    Norma, if we're forced to move, can we be neighbors?

  8. Oh, and I forgot, Eve, if we find out that the world DOESN'T END, then what? I want to see Santa again WAAAAAAA!

  9. I will be so happy when this election is over.

  10. Hurrah for one last blast (blog post!) Tomorrow, I will vote in the morning, then attempt to ignore the sensationalism and "early declarations of the winner" for the rest of the day.

  11. If Obama gets another four years to run this country over a cliff, the world ending on December 21st will suddenly seem like a good thing.

  12. I love the Billy Connolly quote too. Haven't been hearing much about the U.S. elections over here, although I guess the time difference may be a factor. Tuesday's already over for me so I guess we'll hear the big news on TV tomorrow.

  13. Thank goodness it's almost all over!

    I'm celebrating this evening, because no matter who wins, I'll be able to get back to the food network and my writing (in peace).


  14. We're just going to ignore the whole thing by... distracting ourselves in between the sheets.

  15. There was actually an article in the NY Times about the popular declaration that if Mr. R wins (substitute it with Dubya from past elections), it's time to move to Canada. I feel badly that poor Canadians may absorb the impact of election results in so horribly direct a manner!

  16. Same old, same old. Politics are so frustrating I try to ignore them. I did vote, but since I can't even vote directly for my candidate, I wonder even if it does any good.

    Not to mention I am terribly suspicious of the electronic voting machines. How do we know what they're up to, hmmm?

  17. @Lynn: and here we Canucks can get an election done inside of a month and a half...

    @Beth: patience, patience, it's almost over...

    @Norma: Pack winter clothing!

    Cheney, unfortunately, will never shoot a fellow GOPer...

    @EJ: Mine too!

    @Eve: maybe Santa can bring peace and quiet...

    @Krisztina: it's the first winter that takes getting used to up here. And learning to use the word eh a lot.

    @Lorelei: the mayans were wrong!

    @Kelly: Me too...

  18. @Under Cover: it's a good evening to do anything else but turn on the television...

    @Mark: the Mayan prophecies are standing by to initiate Operation December 21st...

    @Helen: distance can be a splendid thing...

    @Diane: of course, if we get a repeat of 2000, this'll go on for weeks...

    @Scarlett and James: figures you'd do that!

    @LondonLulu: we'll have to be ready. We just won't admit any Cubs fans. We already have enough delusional Leafs fans.

    @Cheryl: this side of the border, we still use paper ballots.

  19. Methinks It was a good outcome today and yes I can see why you would be glad for all the hooha to be fini!!


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