Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, November 27, 2017

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the point of view of the dog and the cat. As always, the dog gets things started.

7:09 AM. Waking up at home. Dreamed of chasing rabbits. Somehow those rabbits always get away.

7:11 AM. Looking outside. More snow fell in the night. Oh boy! I’m looking forward to getting out there and dashing through the fresh powder. But first things first. Priorities must be what they are, and my priority is breakfast.

7:13 AM. Waiting patiently. I can hear movement upstairs, so the human’s up and about. Good. The sooner I can wag my tail and request breakfast be seen to, the better.

7:24 AM. The human comes downstairs. Hello, human! Great morning, isn’t it? Have you seen all the snow? Say, have you put any thought into breakfast? I’m just saying, it’s been nine hours since I’ve had a bite to eat, and I’m feeling quite peckish at the moment.

7:26 AM. Wolfing down breakfast. Yum yum yum!

7:29 AM. Say, human, how about letting me out?

7:30 AM. Dashing out the back door, barking at the birds in the feeder. They fly off, of course.

7:36 AM. Running through the snow in the back fields, barking my head off. Woof woof woof!

7:51 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hello, Spike!

7:53 AM. Spike and I compare notes on the weather. It’s only more of this until April, Spike. For some reason, some people don’t like snow. I don’t get it, I mean, it’s fresh and crisp to run through and bat at and dig through….

7:55 AM. Spike and I discuss the upcoming holidays. He says his humans have already started decorating for Christmas. It’s like a month away! That’s ages, especially for dogs. I mean, we tend to live in the moment, don’t we?

7:59 AM. Spike and I agree to keep each other up to date on the movements of the enemy. Those squirrels are certain to be raiding bird feeders, after all, and so that is where we will direct our attention. See you later, Spike!

8:06 AM. Striding through the forest, happy as I can be. Movement out of the corner of my eye…. Wait a minute, it’s that irritating squirrel!

8:07 AM. Chasing the squirrel, barking my head off! He gets himself up a tree before I can close the distance.

8:08 AM. Circling the tree, listening to the squirrel taunt me and heckle me above. Get back down here, you little coward!

8:22 AM. It’s no use. The little bastard isn’t coming down anytime soon. He’s just sitting up there laughing at me and sticking his tongue out. One of these days, squirrel, one of these days… your luck is going to run out. And that’s the day that I’ll be there.

8:24 AM. Taking my leave, grumbling to myself. Like I said, sooner or later his luck will run out.

8:36 AM. Coming back home. Barking to alert the human to my presence. Human! It is I! Loki! Open the door already!

8:37 AM. Coming inside. Startled to discover the human has been putting up some of the Christmas decorations. Well now, this is, as they say, rather unexpected. You could have told me in advance. Oh well, as long as she’s not playing Jingle Bell Rock while she does it…

11:45 AM. Waking up from a nap. Oh good, lunch time hasn’t happened yet. So I haven’t been deprived of the chance to shamelessly mooch.

12:10 PM. I have successfully mooched a ham and cheese sandwich from the human. Yum yum yum!

1:32 PM. Barking my head off at the mailman as he drops off some mail in the box and drives away. And don’t come back, you hear me???

4:23 PM. Using my patented sad eyes approach, I have convinced the human to give me a cookie. Yummy! Thanks, human!

6:41 PM. Dinner with the human. She’s given me some stewing beef. I am of course devouring it to my own content. Life is good. Even if I didn’t get the chance to even a few hundred scores with that irritating squirrel today.

8:56 PM. Lying on my back in the living room, staring at a nutcracker up on one of the bookshelves. What is it about nutcrackers and Christmas, anyway? What does one have to do with the other? Nothing. So why do they get mixed together? If you ask me, and you are asking me, there are times that humans can be quite baffling.

11:29 PM. The human is off to bed. Very well then, human, good night. Sweet dreams. I’ll be down here guarding the house against all means of nocturnal intruders. But keep the door open. I might feel like coming upstairs in the middle of the night and barking at the wind outside. Just so you know in advance.


  1. Fantastic dog photos and captions ~ love all of them!

    Happy Week to you,

    A ShutterBug Explores,
    aka, (A Creative Harbor)

  2. Wonderful captions on the cartoonish photos. Oh, and a dog owner would never feed a dog all that human food anymore. The Vets tell you that is a big no, no.

  3. This is a riot!
    Wilma lunged at a cat poster at the vet, and he said it was unusual for a dog to recognize a picture of prey, as opposed to the prey itself. So of course I take that to mean that Wilma is particularly smart.

  4. My dog knows when I watch videos of other dogs. If I saw "awe," she comes running.

    1. Dogs understand our language. They would just never lower themselves to speak it!

  5. All the snow has melted here at the moment, which is both a bit disturbing, but also glorious :) If only my dogs would shovel my driveway!

    1. They'd love to, but they lack the thumbs to hold a shovel!

  6. Ham and cheese? Good score. Your owners must be in a holiday mood! Fiona and Pinky always give me that look while I'm eating and usually I give in with a morsel for each, but at the risk of getting yelled at by their daddy. He likes to throw his weight around with stupid statements such as: 'no table scraps' or 'no dogs on the couch.' Delusional. 😎

  7. Human it is I ! Loki.
    Sp perfect. I just adore the Dog abd Cat stories.

    cheers, parsnip and mandibles

  8. You should do your dog and cat posts (and Lars posts, of course) as a podcast. The text is just as funny without the memes.


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