Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, February 10, 2014

An Olympic Day In The Life Of A Dog

Some links to see to before we get ourselves started. Have a peek at our joint blog, where we have ourselves a Snippet Sunday post set up from yesterday. Norma has complaints about local news interruptions. Cheryl has a new book out, so go check it out at her page. And check out Lorelei's post on endeavouring to make characters more interesting. Now then, with the Olympics underway, I'm starting off with the first of four dog and cat blogs featuring their points of view on the events taking place in Sochi. And they're both quite opinionated... in their own ways.

7:25 AM. Waking up. Slept for hours. Dreamed of hurtling down a bobsled run. 

7:40 AM. Examining outside from window. Lots and lots of snow. I can't remember the last day when we didn't have some snow falling.

7:45 AM. Good morning, human! How are you this morning? Have you seen all the snow out there? How about a good helping of breakfast? That would hit the spot.

7:50 AM. Finished wolfing down my breakfast. Still haven't managed to break my personal best shortest time to finish breakfast, but one of these days...

7:54 AM. Say, human, how about you let me out so I can have a run? I've been itching to get out there and see if I can hunt down that annoying little squirrel...

7:56 AM. Out the door to commence my morning run. Conducting perimeter search by sniffing everywhere. No trace of the annoying little bastard.

8:25 AM. Running through the backfields, barking like a lunatic. I feel so free and happy!

8:50 AM. Stopping in to see Spike The Magnificent, Tormentor Of Squirrels. We compare intelligence reports on the movements of squirrels. They are, after all, the enemy. And we discuss the eccentricities of those cats. I will never, ever understand felines.

9:00 AM. Spike and I discuss the Olympics. Our humans seem rather interested in these games over in Russia. I suppose that's why I dreamed of sliding down a bobsled run.... I've been watching too many of those things running down the slopes at a hundred kilometres an hour...

9:10 AM. I bid farewell to Spike and head for home.

9:20 AM. Back home. Barking as I come up towards the house. The human opens the door and says hello. 

11:05 AM. Waking up from morning nap. The human is watching some figure skating. 

Human, I really don't understand this sport.

11:07 AM. For some reason, the human is utterly enthralled by people doing something called a triple lutz. I really don't get it.

Uh oh... that triple lutz just sent the skater tumbling onto the ice. Bye bye, medal contention. Hello, angry coach.

12:20 PM. We've switched to ski jumping. For some reason that evil looking President Putin is in attendance.

12:24 PM. The human calls Putin a vile Dark Lord of the Sith. Oh, come now, human... the Sith aren't as evil as that guy.

12:35 PM. Competing on the ski slopes continues. Something disrupts the broadcast. Commenters mention something from above. I wonder what this is about...

12:36 PM. There's a skydiver falling into the venue. With a Union Jack parachute. I wonder who that is...

The commentator mentions something about Eddie the Eagle. Oh, come on! That's a human! Not a cranky bird!

12:37 PM. Russian security personnel are brutally beating Eddie the Eagle. 

12:45 PM. Putin makes remarks to the press that his policemen were acting in self defense when they broke Eddie the Eagle's legs.

I consider myself a good judge of character, human. This Putin guy is really, really, really evil.

3:10 PM. Waking up from second nap. The human isn't around. I look outside. More snow. 

3:15 PM. The human comes inside. Hi, human, did you go out for walkies and not invite me along?

The more important question is, did you see that annoying squirrel?

6:20 PM. Watching the news with the human. There's a piece on our team's security services in Russia. A reporter walks up to that cranky Mountie. He warns her not to ask him about Metallica.

6:21 PM. Inspector Lars Ulrich says he's just in Russia to supplement protection for Canadian athletes. He thanks the reporter for not mixing him up with the drummer guy from Metallica. I don't understand how anyone can mix up this Lars from that Lars. I've seen that Lars, and he looks like he was beaten over the head with an ugly stick.

8:05 PM. The human is watching prime time programming for the Olympics. She switches over to an American channel for a moment, and tells me that for some pointless reason, the Americans throw nearly all of their programming into prime time, despite the fact that the events in question happened hours ago.

One of these days someone's going to have to explain time zone changes to me.

8:40 PM. There's an update on Eddie The Eagle. The Russians have apparently threatened to send him to a gulag.

Human? What does this Eagle thing mean? He doesn't have any feathers...

10:55 PM. The human tells me there'll be hockey tomorrow. Good. I like hockey. Particularly when I picture that annoying squirrel as the puck.

11:45 PM. Good night, human. I shall see you again tomorrow. Peaceful dreams to you.

For my part, I plan on dreaming of chasing that annoying squirrel down a ski hill.


  1. Nice to see an appearance by Lars! (So the other Lars got beaten with an ugly stick? That explains a lot!)

    I thought Putin WAS a Sith Lord!

  2. So Lars is indeed at the Olympics, eh? Surprised they let him out of Canada.

    Love the furniture barricade that didn't work! Been there, done that!

    And thanks for the plug on my book!

  3. That's totally my dog with the couch blockade. lol

  4. Great laughs! That dog is pretty perceptive about Putin! The Sith aren't quite as evl;).

  5. @PK: thanks!

    @Norma: maybe beaten by an ugly stick is too kind a term for the Other Lars.

    @Cheryl: you're welcome!

    @Kelly: that would be many a dog!

    @Maria: the Sith can be quite pleasant when they wish!

  6. Goooooood,no pictures of putrid Putin.
    Jane x

  7. Funny as usual. Of course, I love Peanuts! I don't know how many times I've seen that one, but it is still funny.

  8. Really good pictures. The bedtime one was sweet. Love the bacon expression on the first one.

  9. Okay, the doxie in chainmail is too cute! I'll admit, I've been a little out of the loop with the Olympics--just not really into it this year. Go figure...

  10. Lars makes a cameo! I laughed out loud over the drugged dogs and the useless furniture blockade. The Olympics bring out the best in your pooches (and posts:)!

  11. Psst, thanks always for the reminders :)

  12. Oooo, too funny! Loved how Dog hopped the barricade . . . and puppy and kitty sleeping together . . . too sweet for words.

    Well, we're stuck with NBC down here as they bought broadcasting rights. To boost ratings, much is in prime time. Tried streaming CBC/BBC but neither allows a foreign IP address. Send Lars to the rescue!

  13. @Jane and Chris: heaven forbid!

    @Mari: Peanuts is always funny!

    @Shelly: thank you!

    @Meradeth: I'll see some of it, but other stuff I'll avoid...

    @LondonLulu: more of that to come!

    @Cindy: you're welcome!

    @Kittie: I'll admit, CBC does a good job of covering these... though they did bring Don Cherry with them for some reason.

    @Lynn: bacon is always welcome!

  14. Hahahahah! The dog, about the cat being evil...

    so true! But I guess cats have their reasons for being the way they are. :)

  15. That dog in chainmail was too cute.

    Don't know what is it with dogs and paper. My dog loves chewing paper towels and tissues and making a mess with it.

  16. Agree with all above William .. Dog and cat days are tres drole :). Watching the winter Olympics makes me feel cooler in our horrible hot weather.


Comments and opinions always welcome. If you're a spammer, your messages aren't going to last long here, even if they do make it past the spam filters. Keep it up with the spam, and I'll send Dick Cheney after you.