Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, February 11, 2013

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

7:35 AM. Waking up. Wag my tail for no reason at all. We tend to do that a lot.

7:55 AM. Human comes downstairs and says hello. Breakfast time, human?

8:05 AM. Human pours me a whole bowlful of yummy yummy kibbles. Oh boy! I am such a lucky puppy!

8:10 AM. After my traditional wolfing down breakfast inside of thirty seconds, I'm ready for my morning constitutional. And maybe I can hunt down that annoying squirrel this time. Human, will you let me outside?

8:11 AM. Human lets me out. Racing off like a maniac to sprint through the snow. Lots of acres to dash about, barking at everything.

8:55 AM. Have spotted cat on farmland. It's that cranky diva one who lives down the road. Will try my best to make a good impression.

8:56 AM. Walking up to cat, wagging my tail, doing my best not to look aggressive in any way.

8:57 AM. Cat swats me across the snout. That hurts!

Cat starts to walk off in a snit.

What is it with cats, anyway?

10:05 AM. Back home at last after long run through the snow. Have gotten some of that white stuff in my fur. I do look quite the mess.

The human brings out the Towel of Torment to dry me off.

10:10 AM. Have endured the Towel of Torment. Human, this would go much easier on both of us if you just let me dry off in front of the fireplace. And please, don't start again with that wet dog smell excuse.

12:10 PM. Waking up from nap. Human in kitchen. It's about lunchtime, right?

Maybe I can mooch something.

12:15 PM. Have managed to use the sad eyes con on the human to get her to give me a buttered bread roll.

Yum yum yum....

1:45 PM. Resting by fireplace. Could swear I just heard something. Up on feet. Over to window to look.

It's that squirrel. Out on my deck!

Must bark my head off!

1:47 PM. The human opens the door to let me out. Sprint outside like a lunatic, barking viciously.

The squirrel makes it up into a tree, and chatters incessantly at me while I bark. Stupid squirrel. One of these days...

2:35 PM. Human having tea. Manage to mooch a scone from her.

Oh yummy!

5:35 PM. Human settling in after chores. Starts talking about dinner.

Oh boy! My favourite word!

5:55 PM. Let's see, will the human be feeding me canned meat with the kibble? Or will I get a chance to mooch some of her food too? Either way's good with me.

6:05 PM. Watching human. She's working with milk, flour, and eggs in a bowl. What is she making?

Human mentions something about Pancake Tuesday.

Food has a day?

6:25 PM. The human is busy frying up pancakes. The smells are driving me bonkers. Every one is different. Apple, bacon, blueberries...

Have I had pancakes before?

Even if I haven't... oh, boy, they smell good!

Must perfect sad eyes mooching look.

6:40 PM. Human finished cooking big stack of pancakes. Sets it on table. Sit quietly beside her until she'll notice my sad eyes look. 

6:41 PM. Human puts down a plate with a pancake on it. Smells good... but how do I eat one of these?

6:43 PM. Have managed to start eating pancake. It's like a taste explosion in my mouth.

Apple and bacon and maple syrup!

Why didn't anyone tell me about these things?

7:15 PM. Have managed to wolf down five whole pancakes. Blueberries taste really good cooked in like that...

I think I've died and gone to heaven. Human, can it be Pancake Tuesday every day?

9:55 PM. Dozing comfortably. Tasting the aftertaste of maple syrup and bacon on my breath.

I am a very contented puppy....

11:35 PM. Human turning in for the night. Good night, human. Thanks for the pancakes.

Would we happen to have leftover pancakes for breakfast tomorrow, by chance?

I'd really better watch it. I might end up addicted to pancakes...


  1. So sweet... I like the gud dug better than the snooty cat, what joy he has.
    The little black gud dug who checked for a bomb in the package is so helpful.

    Watson loves pancakes ! I make him the old fashioned Bisquick ones. Nothing added just plain pancakes. He is in heaven !

    cheers, parsnip

  2. I like the instant antidepressant!

    Oh, and the Bond dogs are pretty cute, too!

  3. Our German shepherd loved pancakes, too! So did my pig. We lived across the street from an IHOP for a time, and ordered takeout breakfast every Sunday. The dog and the pig always got pancakes.

    Nicole's dog Rogue seems to prefer pizza rolls....

  4. I loved instant antidepressant! Also the very first one. We had a wood slat fence like that. Our hound dog would pull the boards off & escape. She loved people and would go right to the dog catcher. Sigh. Oh, yes, she was the one that hated cats. Trust me, the outcome was totally different.

  5. Um, English bulldogs are number one!!!

    Oops, sorry. I did't mean to get emotional about it. :D

    My bulldogs love grilled cheese sandwiches. lol

  6. Diet Another Day, ahaha! Oh, who could resist a peek at these sweet, silly beings. Loving these great cartoon series!

  7. The dog with the goat is so sweet! These are so fun!

  8. Too funny! Really liked the dog/human bed. I awoke one morning because my feet dangled off the bed while my two cats had spread out on the bed. Hmm, think dogs and cats have quite a gig going!

  9. This was very heartfelt. If I didn't know you were actually a cat person I'd think you were a dog in a past life. Very sweet. Hope you get pancakes again soon.

  10. I've got one of those dog's bed/my bed arrangements!

  11. @Parsnip: they taste much better than kibbles, so...

    @Cheryl: they are!

    @Norma: Nicole's dog was a very bad doggie!

    @Mari: what a hound!

    @Diane: one can't go wrong with grilled cheese sandwiches!

    @LondonLulu: thank you!

    @M.R: that's one of my favourites of the lot!

    @RedPat: thanks!

    @Kittie: they've conned us.

    @Eve: I had them for lunch!

  12. I think I saw Mittens on a milk carton yesterday. Poor Mittens.

  13. We think you're right. Dogs would refer to it as the Towel of Torment.

  14. You always find the best pictures!

  15. I love Pancake Tuesday and the Towel of Torture.

    Hugs and chocolate,

  16. Oh lord, that last pic is Emma!! I can no longer eat in peace. I want to trade her in for a cat sometimes! And now I'm starving after you mentioned bacon and maple syrup!

  17. My favorites are the lipstick, the bomb in the package, and the last one. Thanks for the laugh.

  18. @Karla: will he ever make it home?

    @Scarlett and James: poor dogs...

    @Deb: thanks!

    @Shelly: thank you!

    @Krisztina: maple syrup is one of life's great pleasures.

    @Christine: you're most welcome!


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