Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Friday, January 25, 2013

Donald, Where's Your Trousers?

Before getting to today's mischief, some business to take care of, in the form of a cover reveal for a fellow writer; here's Vampire Nocturne, by Lorelei Bell:

From Lorelei, a taste of the third book in her series:

Sabrina is becoming a magical creature—not just a clairvoyant with
ring that thwarts a vampire's thrall. In this exciting third installment, Sabrina learns how to travel the ley lines, and travels to another world called Beyond the Black Veil ~ a world where vampires outnumber humans ten to one, and humans are merely blood donors and objects of their sexual desires.

The Dagger of Delphi becomes her weapon of choice. And what becomes of Dante Badheart, whose spirit essences is contained in the stone he gave her when last he spoke to her from the dead, is another mystery that intrigues her.

Sabrina Strong's cousin, Lindee, has disappeared, and when she goes to the last place Lindee was seen, she finds herself transported to another world and century, where vampires rule. While trying to solve the mystery of where Lindee could be in this world, Sabrina encounters Drakulya—the real-life Dracula—a.k.a. The Impaler—who has somehow managed to become a vampire living in this strange world, and rules as King.

Lorelei will be releasing Vampire Nocturne soon, and you can find the previous books in the series at her Amazon author's page.  You can also find her blogging regularly at her two blogs, Lorelei's Muse and Lorelei's Writing Journal. Check them out, and you'll find Lorelei to be a lot of fun!

Now then, to the mischief on hand for today...

"Nae man can tether time nor tide." ~ Robert Burns

"If ye decide to commemorate me in dinners, please, don't ye get it into your minds to serve haggis as the meal. That food is just awful." ~ Robert Burns' last request, completely ignored by his friends and everyone else since.

It's Robbie Burns Day in Scotland and abroad, marking the anniversary of the poet's birth. We've done a blog marking the day over at our joint blog, so have a look over there when you've finished up here.

The day is a big one in Scotland, a national holiday that features get togethers centred on the drinking of whisky, and the eating of haggis at festive suppers. For those of you who might not know what that particular instrument of cruel and unusual punishment actually is, haggis is a pudding mix of oatmeal, onions, suet, spices... mixed with the heart, liver, and lungs of a sheep, and cooked inside the sheep stomach.

Yes, you read that right.

A few days ago I had fun with the Australians here in the blog, so of course I have to do the same with the Scots on their big day. I've started with that title, which of course you can never ask of a Scotsman wearing a kilt. He's likely to put on war paint and go berzerk. And you'll be in a world of hurt.

Robert Burns: Poet, Consumer of Haggis, Recounter of Tall Tales

The Loch Ness Monster always turns up when you're not looking

Of course, I still want to see Scotland for myself. It must be in my blood somewhere along the line... some distant Scottish ancestor. I want to walk the highland paths in the mist, hear the sound of the bagpipes, have a dram of the fine stuff, and figure out how the locals end up becoming Jedi Knights.

Just as long as I don't have to wear a kilt. Just saying.

With that, I leave you to the pics. Enjoy, and Happy Robbie Burns Day!


  1.'re an equal opportunity offender?

    The Scots become Jedi knights because passion and swordplay are in their blood.

    And Scotties are just so darn cute!

  2. I just laughed through out this. And My God I need a good laugh after the last two weeks !
    The James Bond one was great !

    And Scotties rule !
    I am cooking up some low-fat turkey mash it into a patty and we will call it haggis ! The Square Ones don't like Scotch so I think that will be it for Burns night for us.

    cheers, parsnip

  3. I'm making a vegan haggis for our celebration,no need for bits of dead animal!
    Jane x

  4. Gorgeous cover!

    Fun cartoons. Thanks for the laughs!!

    I've got a long kilt I bought in Scotland some years ago. The material held its shape and color and is as beautiful (to me) as ever. Love Scotland. But, ahem, forget about haggis. I never got past the, er, delicate aroma.

  5. I get chills whenever I hear bagpipes live. I'm part Scottish/Irish (thankfully two drops each) (mostly Germain and thank goodness for my Norwegian mother)
    Haggies I will pass on.

    Thank you William for posting the cover reveal. It was almost apropriate it came on this auspicious day (yay Scotsmen and their kilts woot!)

  6. That cover is beautiful! And loving the (always) creative mix you have here - I can't get over that kilted Startrooper, lol!

  7. Haha! Funny stuff Hamilton, being Scottish born I have to say I do have a weakness for a man in kilt, seriously I mean it!

  8. William you have way too much fun ! LOVE it.

  9. @Norma: apparently I am an equal opportunity offender, yes...

    @Parsnip: I hope the Square Ones are doing well!

    @Jane and Chris: that sounds better!

    @Kittie: it is a striking cover! And I've heard from haggis afficianodos that the worse the smell, the better the taste of the stuff.

    @Lorelei: bagpipes do that for me too. And you're most welcome!

    @LondonLulu: glad you like the cover! And I don't remember seeing kilted stormtroopers in the movies...

    @Grace: the closest I've ever come was wearing a tie and vest as a groomsman at a traditional Scottish wedding. Not sure I'd have tried the kilt, even if I'd been asked!

    @Cindy: I do amuse myself!

  10. The cover is indeed smashing!

    And Scotties are much too cute puppies!

  11. I'd love to see Scotland, too. I'm trying to get into whisky and love the bagpipes. But, wearing a kilt every day for 5 years in high school kinda ruined that as an outfit now.

  12. Yikes. Haggis should be outlawed everywhere on the planet and beyond. Congratulations to Lorelei!

  13. That book sounds interesting! And I love the comic that says, "What a nice little dog you've got - would he like a biscuit?" Haha that made me laugh!

  14. Oh go on!! Wear a kilt!! Go on you know you want to!! Yes you do!! Oh yes!!


    Take care

  15. Gorgeous cover and fun cartoons.

    Man in kilts playing bagpipes look intriguing!
    Thanks for the laughs!

  16. @Scarlett and James: cuteness is their secret weapon.

    @Carla: the bagpipes are a grand instrument.

    @Eve: for some reason, not everyone sees it that way!

    @Leigh Ann: thanks for stopping in!

    @Old Kitty: oh no I don't!

    @Nas: I just can't tell them they're wearing skirts. Even though they are...

  17. Great post! I'm supposed to be a distant relative of Robert Burns. My grandmother was a Burns! Plus I used to own a Scottish Terrier named Mackie. But even though I'm part Scottish I'll never eat Haggis!

  18. I was just talking about how I want to go to Scotland one day, William. Should I not mention I'm Scottish? LOL I'm also 5 other nationalities.

  19. That haggis business sounds awful! You are a funny guy. I laughed all through this post and can't wait to see what else you come up with... =)

  20. Congrats to Lorelei.

    Loved the drunk Scottish uncle kitteh, naturally.

    I think you'd look smashing in a kilt, William. Get one and post a photo!


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