Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, October 29, 2012

With All Due Respect, That's A Bunch Of Malarkey

"Every two years, the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurillous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country, and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians." ~ Charles Krauthammer

"All men are born alike... except Republicans and Democrats." ~ Groucho Marx

"Politics, n: [poly "many" + tics "blood sucking parasites"] ~ Larry Hardiman

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." ~ Aesop

"If the World Series runs until Election Day, the networks will run the first half inning and project the winner." ~ Lindsey Nelson

Well, here we are. It's a week and a day away from Election Day. The final stretch. The debates are through, the polls change by the hour, and things are too close to call. The candidates, this being President Obama and Governor Mittens, continue to cross the country campaigning, and the editorial cartoonists of the world continue to make fun of them. It's about the only way the rest of us can get through it... well, that and liquor, if you happen to partake....

Attack ads are everywhere. Campaign ads for every political office you can hold are running (seriously, does a judge really need to run for election?). Late night comedians are having a field day.

One of the debates that took place was the Vice Presidential Debate, between Vice President Joe "Let Me Clarify That" Biden and Paul "The Sneer Incarnate" Ryan. The Vice President pretty much wiped the floor with the Sneer Incarnate, so much so that it looked like an old guy was beating up a little kid. And he used arguably the best line of the entire campaign, which suits me so well that I've incorporated it into today's blog title....

Something else that came out of the debates was Governor Mittens' suggestion that in a Mittens administration, PBS funding would get cut off (goodbye, intelligent television, hello, yet more reality television). This would, of course, spell the end of Sesame Street.

Editorial cartoonists ran wild with it.

And so Mittens has been continuing to work the election circuit, trying to act like he has the slightest connection to the lives of most people ("what, don't most people have offshore tax havens?"), flipflopping on everything, putting his foot in his mouth with regularity, and stepping into one figurative landmine after another. Uttering the Binders Full Of Women blunder during the debates may well be the icing on the cake in Mittens' electoral campaign of missteps.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... this is the best the Republicans could come up with?

The Presidential debates are, of course, behind us, and while President Obama did sleep through the first one, he was well rested for the second, in which Governor Mittens managed to once again confirm the impression that he'd love everything to go back to a Father Knows Best society, and in which the President manhandled him. The third debate, which centres on foreign policy, seems to be the one that's least important, at least in the minds of political commentators....

And so here we are, just eight more days to go. Eight more days, we can make it!

Of course, on election night, the networks and party insiders on all sides will, of course, start talking about 2016.

Drives you nuts, doesn't it?

In closing, why can't we see this debate?


  1. Eight days that feel like eight years! Every time I see one of them on TV, I want to scream "Enough already!"

    But then, your hilarious election blogs and the late-night comics make it bearable....

  2. Good Lord, I think it's a great reason to take up drinking!!

  3. I am voting for who ever calls me and sends me the less political garbage.

    cheers, parsnip

  4. This seems like the longest campaign in history. Thank God it's almost over.

  5. I'll just be glad when this is over with. It's all wearing me out.

    Hugs and chocolate,

  6. It will be a relief to finally know which idiot we've got for the next four years.

  7. @Norma: emphasis on enough already!

    @Eve: I think so!

    @Gayle: of course, then you have to keep track of numbers of call ins!

    @Deb: it's been an ordeal!

    @Shelly: I know the feeling!

    @Krisztina: hopefully in nine days... unless we get a repeat of the fiasco from 2000....

  8. I think I've learned more from this post than I have all election year... nice.

  9. I agree; I'll be glad when it is all over! William, great pics as always. I loved the quote from Aesop; so true!

  10. One more week and it'll all be over! Thanks for the humor to make it all a litlle easier to get through!

  11. ROFL!! :D In addition to the awesome cartoons and commentary, I must say it takes a Canadian to preface an insult with "With all due respect,..."
    William, I do hope you are getting your (plethora of?) guestrooms ready, because if by some chance Romney does win, you will have a lot of currently American bloggers knocking on your door and brushing up on our French. (I love Quebec; but I know that is not where you are.)

  12. What? What? Did I hear that Frankenstorm may hold up the election?

    Please. No. Please. Tell me I dreamed it. I can't take much more!

  13. @M.R.: who'd have thought I could teach anything?

    @Lena: it certainly is!

    @Maria: thank you!

    @Under Cover: well, I'm close enough to Quebec!

    @Cheryl: I heard that rumor too!

  14. Surely Obama will be re elected..otherwise it really is a load of old malarkey hey William!


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