Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, April 20, 2015

A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Some links before getting underway today. Norma had an excerpt at her blog. Eve continued on with the A-Z challenge. Cheryl had photos from her area. The Whisk wondered if she had a bionic nose. And Lorelei wrote about various matters at her blog.

And so we come to the cat's point of view. Show her some respect. She is, after all, part of the ultimate species on the planet.

7:43 AM. Waking up in bed. This is quite peculiar. The staff is already up and out of bed. No sound coming from the bathroom. How did she get up without my knowing?

7:45 AM. Downstairs. The staff is in the kitchen making some breakfast. Staff, who gave you permission to get out of bed? Because it certainly wasn’t me. Now, since I see you’re making breakfast, I would like a bowl of milk, preferably with the bowl pre-chilled. And a plate of tuna slightly sautéed and presented with a cloth napkin. A rose in a vase would be a nice touch too...

7:48 AM. The staff disappoints me once again with field rations.

7:53 AM. Ardently meowing my demands to be let outside. Come on, staff, spring has finally asserted itself, and I intend to take full advantage of sunshine.

8:12 AM. Out on my rounds. I can hear the barking of that annoying mutt from down the road somewhere in the distance. 

8:24 AM. Passing by the McKillen farm. I look through the fence and see some sheep. New lambs among them. Sheep are strange animals.

8:27 AM. One of those lambs wanders over. Yes, hello, I’m a cat. Mind your manners. That means not licking me. 

8:29 AM. The Mama Sheep comes over and does that baaa thing that sheep tend to do. Well, sheepie, you might look like a cotton ball, but at the very least your offspring hasn’t resorted to licking me, so that’s a point in your favour.

9:21 AM. Continuing to walk along the McKillen farm. I can hear some splashing about coming from over the hill in one of the fallow fields. I wonder what that’s about.

9:28 AM. It’s that annoying mutt splashing around in a very big mud puddle. Oh, wonderful. That stupid dog has never heard of a little thing called dignity.

9:42 AM. Keeping the dog under observation. For some reason that foul canine seems to like getting filthy. That’s enough of this. I’m going to get to some high ground in case that stupid dog thinks of getting me dirty.

9:51 AM. Have taken to the top of a fence post. I can see the dog ambling along, looking like the idiot that he is.

9:53 AM. The annoying mutt has finally noticed me. What a crazy hound. He expresses the buffoonish notion that running around in mud is a good idea. 

9:54 AM. I express my disdain. This time the dog shows a glimmer of good sense and walks away. Boy, is he a mess.

10:13 AM. Have stopped by the home of that annoying hound whilst on my way home. I can see his human washing him down with a garden hose while he whines and complains.

Quit your griping, you beast. You asked for this.

10:35 AM. Back home. The staff is out on the deck. Hello there, staff. That foul hound got what he had coming to him. Life is good. Now then, I’m going to have a nap out here. Tell the sun not to go hiding behind any clouds while I’m asleep.

12:27 PM. Waking up. Why did the staff think she could get away with going inside without my permission?

12:31 PM. Back inside after some ardent meowing at the door. With great reluctance, I eat some of the field rations.

1:06 PM. Settling on top of the couch. Time for another nap. Lots of shut eye to do.

4:35 PM. Awake again. Feeling peckish. Fortunately the staff is in the kitchen.

4:47 PM. The staff finally gives in to my demands and pours me a bowl of milk.

5:53 PM. Doing my pre-dinner sprint around every single room in the house for no reason. The staff no doubt thinks I’m certifiably insane.

6:03 PM. Staff starting to make dinner. Pasta and meat are involved. I approve of the meat.

6:28 PM. The staff and I are having dinner. She’s having spaghetti and meatballs. I content myself with meatballs. Milk on the side. A good meal to have this time of day. Far better than field rations.

8:57 PM. Attacking the scratching post using strategies perfected in Sun Tzu’s The Art Of War.

11:32 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff. Keep the door open. I might feel like pouncing on top of you at four thirty in the morning.


  1. Great fun. You had me laughing out loud a couple of times. Maybe because we have one of the grumpy cats and a baby grumpy cat and my Cleo hates them. This morning I woke up to find she had killed the baby and thrown it on the floor!

  2. I still think you were a cat in a previous incarnation.

    As always, Grumpy Cat rules!

  3. The cats playing chess reminded me of two of our cats...they played chess with an onyx set...and 'redesigned' the pieces.
    Jane x

  4. I'm waiting to find a cat meme for the song "I Will Survive!" by Gloria Gaynor. :)

  5. When my daughter was a baby, my cat used to go in her room and meow when she wanted water at night because she knew I'd get up if she woke the baby. Evil cat.

  6. @Lowell: cats will be cats.

    @Norma: Grumpy is the best.

    @Jane and Chris: that I'd like to see.

    @Diane: I'll have to look for one, or make one!

    @Kelly: oh, that's cute!

  7. I have to cater to Fiona too, so I kind of know what you mean.

  8. Love the second photo.
    You always find great photos and write the best continuing story of the Dog and Cat.
    But all and all I think I will pick the crazy dog running around mud puddles and all, with pure joy !

    cheers, parsnip

  9. These memes just brightened my day.

  10. I usually avoid your cat posts. I love cats and you actually have a knack for finding pics that so remind me of our cat that we never replaced. And it makes me homesick for one. Grumpy or not.

  11. My cat is one of those who sings the song of her people at five in the morning. I'm thinking of giving her a sleeping pill at bedtime.

  12. @Lynn: she is an epic cuteness cat.

    @Eve: hah!

    @Parsnip: this time out the dog and cat essentially wrote themselves. The mud puddle idea came to me, and I ran with it.

    @Auden: thanks!

    @Carole: I can see that being an issue.

    @Cheryl: my parents' last set of cats tended to run around at five in the morning. It wasn't that big a deal to my dad, who would tend to get out of bed that early anyway.

  13. Not wild about cats, but Grumpy cat is funny.

  14. I don't know why I like the "kitteh" talk so much, but it still charms me.

  15. jjejejej, curiosas caras de gatos...un abrazo desde Murcia...

  16. Promised to share this on facebook for my friends who love/have cats. Funny how you managed to get the Hounds of Baskerville into this one as well.

  17. All great. My top pick is the warm tushy for the kitten.

  18. Happy spring!! :) The cat door one gave me a good laugh, especially!


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