Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, June 16, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

I have some links to go over before we get started with anything. Yesterday was a Sunday, so we had ourselves a Snippet Sunday post. Norma wrote at her blog today about being under the weather. AngryParsnip had a Square Dog Friday post at her blog before the weekend. Lorelei had an announcement at her blog, and Shelly features her as well at her blog. Maria wrote about a woman from the Civil War era at her blog. And the Happy Whisk had this faceoff at her blog. Also check out my photoblog by clicking on the photo kitty there at the right. I've started posting pictures this weekend from our recent Doors Open event.

 Today I'm kicking off the first of four dog and cat blogs, featuring our two heroes over the course of a day and a night. As always, I start off with the hound's perspective.

7:40 AM. Waking up out of deep slumber. All four paws up in the air. Dreamed of chasing that annoying squirrel. From behind the wheel of one of those Indy race cars.

7:45 AM. Well, hello there, human, how are you on this fine day? Looks like the rain finally let up. How about a little bit of breakfast? And by a little bit I mean spill over the edges of the bowl.

7:47 AM. Wolfing down the last bits of my breakfast. Kibbles are so yummy!

7:51 AM. The human tells me to be back soon. She has places to go today.

Can I come too? Any chance to get out for a car ride is a good one.

7:54 AM. Running through the back fields. Barking like a berzerker lunatic. Happy happy happy!

8:10 AM. Engaged in a healthy dose of rolling around in the grass for no reason whatsoever.

8:25 AM. Encountering Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. He's out on his morning rounds as well. We confer on the fact that the enemy- the vile little fiends we call squirrels- have not been spotted as of yet. Surely they must be up to something awful. 

8:30 AM. Spike asks how my snout is doing since that unfortunate run in with a porcupine. Trust me, Spike, I will never, ever again say hello to a porcupine. I will give them a wide berth.

8:33 AM. Spike and I part ways, promising to keep an eye out for any sign of the enemy's movements. Absent squirrels can only mean they're plotting something. We suspect it might be world domination.

8:45 AM. Continuing my stroll. I pass by the property where that fussy cat lives. I think I'll go have a look about.

8:47 AM. Well, her human's car is gone, but there's the cat herself. Sitting in that windowsill hissing at me. Come on, cat. Why can't you and I be friends for once in our lives? Surely you can trust me. I mean, after all, I'm Loki, and if you can't trust Loki...

Why do I get the sense someone's laughing at me?

8:50 AM. It's no use. Not even my friendly tail wagging will do enough to get her to change her opinion of me. Well, okay, cat, but someday maybe you'll think differently.

9:10 AM. Back home. Wagging my tail as I come up to the house, barking. Hello, human, I'm home!

9:12 AM. The human lets me inside. For some reason she's dressed a lot more formally than usual. Are we going somewhere nice for dinner? And if so, does that mean I get to eat steak with everyone else watching?

9:14 AM. The human says she's going to a wedding today. One of the neighbours will be by later on to let me out, but I am to be on my best behaviour.

Come now, human, I'm perfectly well behaved. Don't even bring up that incident when I chewed on the mayor's shoes.

9:30 AM. The human is chattering on and on about her cousin's wedding. That's nice, but could you do me a favour and bring back a slice of wedding cake? I'd be ever so happy...

9:45 AM. Watching the human finishing up getting ready to leave. Do weddings take all day? 

9:50 AM. Barking my goodbyes to the human. Have a good day! Just watch out for armies of squirrels. They're up to something, I swear to you...

10:20 AM. I think I'll have a nap. The sunbeam looks really inviting today.

11:45 AM. Woken up out of a deep sleep by the feeling that I'm being watched. I look around. There he is. Outside on the windowsill. That annoying squirrel. The little bastard's laughing at me.

I start barking my head off.

11:46 AM. Is that little bastard giving me the finger???

11:50 AM. Barking furiously. Oh, for the ability to open doors on my own. You would pay, squirrel. Oh, would you pay...

11:53 AM. The little bastard finally leaves. One of these days....

4:35 PM. Front door opening. Taking a look to see if the human's here. No, wait, it's Mrs. McIntyre from down the road. Hello there!

4: 55 PM. Back inside after a good short run. No sign of the squirrel. Mrs. McIntyre has some food ready for me. Aside from kibbles and wet dog food, she's given me a plate of English muffins and sausage. Yum yum yum....

5:25 PM. Bidding goodbye to Mrs. McIntyre, who gives me an extra scratch behind the ears, just where I like it. You're a real nice lady. Have a good evening!

I wonder when my human will be back. Gotta find out how long these wedding things really last. Too bad I can't just call the venue and find out...

To Be Continued...


    You are now a God in our home !
    The Square Ones are now bowing down.

    The first photo and last one brought tears to my eyes, looks so much like my fist, Little Square Black Dog, Kirby. She had the best smile ever.
    Although the last one is very thehamish !

    cheers, parsnip

  2. OMG, the one in the tub! I can't stop laughing!

  3. "You mean I am not a people" looks exactly like the pick of the litter from our most recent litter.

  4. A continuation...! Well that means only one thing, something bad happened in the evening :)

  5. Gwamma did a great job on that sweater! Don't know where you find these things, but I sure do enjoy them!

  6. @Parsnip: I knew you'd like the Scotties!

    @Kelly: poor doggie...

    @Cindy: I can see that!

    @Grace: I haven't written the evening versions of these dog and cat blogs yet, but I've got ideas!

    @Cheryl: thank you!

  7. I thought I spied one of the Checkerboard Aussies too!
    Jane x

  8. I saw the first one and immediately thought of Gayle's boys--I see she agrees!

    And then I saw the last one....

  9. The wet dog pic killed me! Reminds me of my dog. She turns into a big rat when she's wet.

  10. Yay for scottie dogs! I haven't seen one in ages :) Also, I swear the "I'm not a people"'s clone lives in my city. I saw it sitting on the drivers lap as I left Costco this evening...

  11. HAHAHAHA!!! Bath dog looks just like my Biscuit when she's had her bath. She has that look on her face like "WTF did you just do to me?"

    But, once you put her on the ground and fluff the towel a bit, she runs around going, "WHEEE!! I'm clean, I'm clean!"

    Silly dogs. :)

  12. When I was little, our dogs loved car rides. They always looked sad when we got all dressed up and left them behind:(.

    Loved the pic Harlequin Great Dane. As a teen, I had one that looked just like that!

    Thanks so much for the plug;)!

  13. My dog's day isn't nearly as interesting. She sleeps, eats, chews a rawhide treat, pees, and sleeps some more. That's about it!

  14. @Jane and Chris: now I can't look at that one without seeing a Checkerboard Aussie!

    @Norma: Scotties are so cute.

    @Auden: the smaller the dog, the more resemblance to a rat while wet.

    @Meradeth: I've seen Scotties around here from time to time.

    @Diane: dogs are silly, but in a good way!

    @Maria: you're welcome!

    @Stephanie: I've been writing this particular dog for awhile... he tends to have busy days.

  15. I the Hammish and Watson helped you with this one.

  16. Loved the cartoons in this one. It would be hilarious it the human brought home a male human. That would really upset the equilibrium.

  17. I'll be chuckling over the dog fighting a lobster with a spoon all day!


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