Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, January 18, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Before we get things started today, check out Norma's blog where she posts about the updated version of Chasing The Wind. And check out Cindy's blog for her post yesterday on the second annual Ontario Bloggers Day, in which I took part in my photoblog.

And now, it's the kitty's point of view for this cold winter's day. Meow!

7:25 AM. Waking up from a deep sleep. Feeling peckish. Where is the staff? I expect breakfast, post haste.

7:40 AM. Finally, the staff shows up downstairs, but not dressed for work. Is this a weekend day? It's about time, staff. Now, see to my breakfast, and it had  better not involve anything remotely resembling field rations, or you and I will have ourselves a serious disagreement.

7:42 AM. The staff gives me field rations. I sigh, roll my eyes, and walk away in dismay.

Why does she not understand my disdain for field rations?

7:50 AM. The staff opens the back door and asks if I want to go out. I take one look at the snow falling outside.

Are you crazy???

8:05 AM. After much reluctance, I consume some of the field rations.

Staff, you had better shape up with something more tasty later in the day...

8:10 AM. I have decided to spend the morning on the back of the couch. It's a good place to get plenty of views of the outside.

Unfortunately there won't be any sunbeams to bask in today. Not with all that snow falling.

8:55 AM. Even through the windows, somewhere I can hear the barking of that stupid dog from down the road. What's he barking at this time?

10:40 AM. Watching the staff putting away Christmas decorations. She put the fragile ornaments higher up in the tree this year. I suppose she learned from last year when I murdered a couple of those glass balls. And some gold and silver tinsel. And a Santa ornament.

Now everything on the lower branches tends to be stuff that can survive being swatted by a cat.

10:55 AM. The staff continues to work. Staff, you will clear it with me before you allow any more visits from your annoying relations. I did not like it one bit when your sister and her idiot husband brought their pack of hooligans here on Christmas Day. I was hiding for hours on end, after all.

At least the hooligans never found me.

11:45 AM. Discouraged by continuing snowfall. I am beginning to wonder if the snow will ever stop falling.

12:01 PM. Checking the kitchen. The staff is making lunch. She gives me a look, and asks if I'd like something.

Milk, in a chilled bowl. Finely minced tuna. A side of honey sauce. Lamb, lightly sauteed. Any of those would be lovely.

No field rations.

12:03 PM. The staff puts down a bowl of milk for me. Not chilled, but we shall see what we can make do with. She adds a plate with some slices of turkey and chicken. Acceptable, by my standards.

Now why, staff, can't you manage something like this in the morning?

12:10 PM. Finishing up eating lunch. The staff is watching the news. That smiling idiot who forecasts the weather is talking about the snow. Yes, you idiot, we can see the snow is falling. Tell us when it ends.

Staff, are there people on earth just as useless as a weather forecaster?

12:14 PM. Looking outside expectantly for some sign that the snow might stop. Unfortunately it doesn't appear so.

2:15 PM. Waking up from nap. Glancing outside.

It still hasn't stopped???

2:20 PM. The staff is having tea. I make a point of sitting on her lap, on the book she was reading, and settling down for a good purr. It amuses me to inconvenience her.

2:30 PM. The staff asks how long I'll be lying here. Well, staff, it's very comfortable here on your lap and on top of this book you were reading. I might just stay here all winter.

2:35 PM. Feeling very sleepy. Must be the effect of the fireplace here in the living room...

4:05 PM. Waking up. Wait a minute... where's the staff?

How dare she set me off her lap while I was sleeping without my express permission?

4:06 PM. Checking outside the front windows.

I can't see the road from here... and that wind is really howling.

4:08 PM. Going in search of the staff. We will have words...

4:09 PM. Heading up the stairs... but wait... why did the light just go out?

4:10 PM. Cannot detect sounds of furnace or fridge. What on earth is going on?

4:12 PM. I find the staff in her room upstairs. Staff, did you do something to the lights?

4:13 PM. The staff informs me there must have been a blackout.

Wait... how dare the electricity go out without my express permission!

4:17 PM. The staff informs me that the power might be off for a few hours or more.

This is unacceptable, staff! Unacceptable, I say!

What about dinner, after all?

To Be Continued....


  1. Okay, I'm going to state the obvious again. I love Grumpy Cat!

    Thanks for the mention, partner!

  2. Love the Kristen Stewart impression! And the 'Gotch U' one, too!

    And the Moo one struck a chord with my black and white girl cat since she bitterly resents my calling her Cow Cat!

  3. Thanks, but now I absolutely must have myself a grumpy cat! What's the breed so I don't look stupid asking someone at the pet store about how I might acquire a grumpy looking cat?


  4. No lights or dinner. Poor kitty. Love the torture chamber.

  5. @Norma: Tardar Sauce is loved the world over!

    @Cheryl: I can understand the resentment!

    @Mari: she certainly does!

    @Lorelei: it's a cavalcade of cuteness with Grumpy on the side.

    @Parsnip: I wonder what the Square Ones would make of a cat around all the time!

    @Diane: it's a dwarf something or another...

    @Shelly: what will kitty do?

  6. I'm trying so hard not to wake my daughter up but I can't stop laughing at the Kristen Stewart one! lol

  7. "I am beginning to wonder if the snow will ever stop falling."

    At last, something a cat and I can agree on.

  8. Will dinner be home cooked or take away THAT is the question :)

  9. Ahahaha, the Kristen Stewart one just kills me! Each time you do a cat post, I can see more and more why they are the ultimate beings of the universe:)

  10. PS Thank you for introducing us to another Canadian blogger - what fun to visit!

  11. just made my morning! And now my day would be good, too!

  12. I seriously cracked up at the Kristen Stewart one :) Also, the next place I live will allow pets! It's official!

  13. At least your cat has a sensible view of weather forecasters! hahaha!

  14. Cat's version of Les Miserables is too funny! My Chena would have approved of the sentiments in this post!


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