Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, October 26, 2013

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Some items of note to take care of before anything else. Have a peek at our joint blog, where we did a musical interludes blog with two live in concert songs by The Corrs. And keep an eye out on my photoblog (just click on photokitty there to the right), as I'm wrapping up fall colours at the moment and getting set for the beginning of November (I was very, very busy yesterday). 

With the month coming towards an end, three blogs to go. My dog is first up today, with the cat to follow; both are dealing with trick or treating and odd movie casting. Then on Thursday, I'll post a blog for Hallowe'en... with no doubt dogs and cats in the mix for that one too. And without further ado, shall we begin?


7:20 AM. Waking up. Slept well. Dreamed of chasing squirrels. Those devious little rascals are the bane of my existence. 


7:30 AM. Good morning, human! How are you on this fine day? I could use a run, you know, but first things first, we must see to our priorities. How about breakfast? That’d be ever so swell. Thanks a million!


    7:35 AM. The human pours me a big bowl of kibbles. Yum yum yum!


7:36 AM. After my customary wolfing down breakfast- still haven’t broken my personal best shortest time- it’s time to get out and about and do some running. The human is kind enough to let me out the door. She tells me to behave myself. Behave myself? Human, you know that your devoted Loki always behaves himself!


7:40 AM. Running through frosty fields, barking my head off. 


8:05 AM. Taking a break. I hear the honking of geese overhead, and look up. There they are, Canada geese, flying south. I think their citizenship should be questioned. These birds scatter south as fast as they can once the frost hits. Can’t take a little winter, huh?


8:30 AM. Stop in to see Spike The Magnificent, Tormentor Of Squirrels. His place is decorated with garish skeletons hanging from trees, a ceramic jack o’lantern on the steps, and other outlandish items. He informs me that it’s Hallowe’en, and his humans have been busy this morning already getting things decorated. 

Here I forgot the date! I wonder if my human’s going to be doing the same?


8:40 AM. Spike and I discuss the odd beliefs humans have and the way they mark the occasion. Very odd, but not as odd as cats. We wonder if our humans will do something awful and try to dress us up in costumes. 


8:50 AM. Parting ways with Spike. Time to start making my way home. I’ve got lots of things to sniff along the way.


9:15 AM. Home at last. The human is out front decorating the front lawn. Sure enough, there’s a scarecrow over there, and a skull mounted in the front window. I shall call him Yorick. And she’s hanging a skeleton from the oak tree. Hello, human, tell me, what in your cultural background suggests a fondness for the darker things in the world? Or is this just a one night only thing?


10:25 AM. The human seems to be finishing up. She tells me something about trick or treaters coming tonight. Oh, good. Are they bringing dog biscuits?


10:45 AM. Back inside. Time for a nap. I come into the living room, do my customary turning in a circle thing, and finally settle down by the fireplace. Nice and toasty...


1:15 PM. Waking up. Good nap. Yorick remains silent on the windowsill, looking outside. Hey, have I slept through lunch?


1:17 PM. The human is stabbing a pumpkin with a big sharp knife. What did the pumpkin do to deserve that?


1:25 PM. Continuing to watch the human at work. This is most perplexing. She seems to be creating what looks like a garish face. It’s a jack o’lantern... just like the one over at Spike’s house... but she's not using ceramics? Human, you do realize this might have taken less effort to just buy something that you can put out each year, right?


1:33 PM. She’s finished. Strange. Looks like a cat hissing. Or is that just my impression? Now then, human, what do you say about some lunch?


5:10 PM. Waking up from another nap. Nice smells from the kitchen. The human’s been cooking. Smells like pumpkin pie. I wonder if I can mooch some…


6:25 PM. The human is having French toast and sausages tonight. I’m practically drooling, it’s got me so over the moon…


6:40 PM. The human gives me some French toast and bites of sausage. Yum yum yum! Human, have I told you just how much I love you?


7:10 PM. Wagging my tail as trick or treaters show up at the door and the human is giving out candy. Some of them are dressed up like those crazy Minion thingies. One of them is dressed like Miley Cyrus. 


8:05 PM. More trick or treaters at the door. The human’s giving them more candy and wishes them good night. She says she always liked the houses that gave out chocolate… instead of the ones giving out that awful tooth shattering bricks passing themselves off as candy that other houses gave out when she was a kid. You know, human, your house would be even more popular if you gave out dog biscuits.


8:35 PM. Oh, come on, human, you don’t have to put the bowl up there out of my reach while you go into the kitchen. You can trust me around chocolate! Human? Human?


I guess she knows me too well.


9:00 PM. The human thinks the trick or treaters are done for the night. She turns on a movie. Bram Stoker’s Dracula? Are you sure? I mean, sure, it’s got that Gary Oldman guy in the lead and Anthony Hopkins can really chew the scenery…. But it also has Keanu mumbling his way through an English accent.


9:45 PM. Why doesn’t anyone comment on how many ways this Dracula guy looks through the film? I mean, one scene he’s an old and decrepit castle dwelling creepy wall crawler with really weird hair, the next he looks like, well, a dog standing on his hind legs in that big storm scene… and some of the time he’s in his long haired younger form. This doesn’t make sense, human!



11:15 PM. Oh, look. Dracula’s dying. Took long enough. You know, if they’d only dispatched Lassie, that collie would have had a stake in Old Fang’s heart inside of fifteen minutes.


11:17 PM. Winona Ryder has just chopped off Gary Oldman’s head. If only she did that to Keanu too.



11:50 PM. The human is heading off to bed. Unfortunately she’s stashed the remaining trick or treat candy out of my reach. Good night, human. Happy Hallowe’en! I’ll stay down here for awhile. Unless Yorick starts talking. In which case, I’ll be cowering underneath your bed inside five seconds.



16 comments:

  1. So...doggie's name is Loki? Love it...though I think Loki might be a better name for a cat!

    I know people who give out dog biscuits on Hallowe'en....

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  2. Loki is a perfect dog's name! Very cool. And I love the bulldog as a scarecrow costume--I'm going to have to send it to my sister to see if she'll attempt it on hers :)

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  3. Very funny. Love all the pics.

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  4. It's true about them being cute. And it's a good thing too.

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  5. @Norma: it just came to me!

    @Meradeth: your poor sister's doggie!

    @Shelly: thank you!

    @Kelly: isn't it?

    @Whisk: it's their best way of getting out of trouble!

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  6. Happy halloween!!! Looks like The Dog's staff done a great job with all sorts of creepies and crawlies and have time to give out treats to the little darlings too! :-) Take care
    x

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  7. Love the costumes! And I still think the funniest picture is of the big dog being told who's boss by the little cat!

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  8. Bandit LOVES "chicks" too ! as I know so does Buddy. x

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  9. You do the best "Day In The Life Of A Dog"
    Makes me smile but.... The Square Ones Are protesting the lack of Scotties !

    cheers, parsnip

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  10. @Old Kitty: none of that tooth shattering stuff!

    @Cheryl: funny because it's true!

    @Cindy: chicks must love both of them!

    @Parsnip: I've got some scotties in drafts, but I'll look for something for the Hallowe'en blog!

    @Lynn: isn't it priceless?

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  11. Fun! Love all the pictures and cartoon too!

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  12. Hahah! Well done William, another day in Loki's life! I looove the pics, my fav this time ...hahaha1 ur perm looks so stoopid, classic!

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  13. What a funny post and I LOVED all the silly pics. My fave was the dog and tiny kitten "boss." We definitely have to be suspicious of Canadian geese -- sneaky border jumpers!

    Thanks for your good wishes on PK's blog about my cover reveal. I really appreciate them! :-)

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  14. I know this for a fact, give a kitty a chance, and she will rule the house. The kitty is always the boss and the doggies realize it sooner or later. :D

    My daughter's brand new kitten thought our Yorkie's excitedly wagging tail was an urging to "play" and the yipes came very soon. Now kitty is the boss.

    lol

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