Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, June 24, 2013

It's Just Been One Of Those Days

I should have known better.

Every once in awhile one of those days comes along when you get one thing going wrong. Then another. And another on top of that. And it ends up leaving you frustrated, annoyed, irritable, and ready to launch a land war in Asia (note to self: don't launch a land war in Asia).

As I mentioned earlier in the month, a number of us are working on Authors For Oklahoma. We're doing a book raffle to benefit the American Red Cross, and we've got donations of books and ebooks set up from various authors across various genres. What we're doing at the moment is some last minute details. I started out today writing up a Word doc for a blog for the group blog Writers of Mass Distraction. The idea was simple: write up a blog with the first three sets of book bundles, offering up the details for each, a pattern we'll follow up with for the remaining sets, generally three a day. When we start that up (hopefully tomorrow), you can find the link to start looking at the sets right here at the WMD Wordpress page. 

Anyway, I was just about finished this morning when the first disaster of the day struck. A hapless electrician in the vicinity inadvertantly hit a switch... turning off the power to a number of computers. Including mine. An hour's work went right down into cyberoblivion. I was most displeased, to say the least.  It took me another hour or so to rewrite the whole thing, saving it into my email, planning on uploading it to the page after lunch.

Well, the copying and pasting the text into a blog went fine... but for some reason Wordpress seems to hate me and refused to load up pics from the media library (where we're keeping our covers) in the places where I wanted them. Another source of annoyance. This is one huge reason I avoid moving over to Wordpress. I've saved cover images in other places today, and we've got something of a solution in mind, but still, I would have preferred to have the blogs up and running over at the WMD page. Oh well, best laid plans and all that.

This brings us to the other source of annoyance for the day. This morning there was, from Facebook, a friend request. It was someone familiar, someone I had a falling out with a couple of years ago. I met her and another writer through a writer's group, and well, long story short, things ended up going south. Much of it had to do with the other writer, a guy who well, charitably put, is something of a train wreck. There was a lot of sturm und drang, and it did not particularly end well. At one point afterwards, she made a completely unreasonable demand, and that was pretty much the end of it all.

And then she turns up making a friend request. Under a different name, but it was her. I had an eye rolling sort of reaction, posted a reply that I knew it was her, asking her to leave me alone. She did reply back, saying that she didn't realize I felt that kind of hostility, claiming that she was sorry. That said, I just didn't believe it. Using a different name regardless felt like it was a headgame... and I just can't put up with headgames. Not right now.

It's hard for me to forgive. It is a trait that doesn't come easy, and that is a character flaw (along with stubbornness and occasional lack of patience). I might have thought differently if that had started out with an actual message accompanying the friend request, something expressing regret over the past. Instead, what I got was a bloody headgame.

The last few weeks have been very difficult. I find it hard to concentrate, to focus on anything. Creatively I'm completely stalled. I try to do the final readthrough for Heaven & Hell, and I can't get more than half a page in before I'm lost. I've tried repeatedly to write something for the joint work I'm writing, Same Time Tomorrow, but nothing at all comes for me. I feel pulled in a dozen directions, and I'm not getting anything done right. I know where that's coming from; it's the grief, and it's part of the process. 

And then I get a day like this....


  1. Aw, the cute picture at the end says it all. Wish I could rub noses with you!

    No reason to forgive anyone except it does usually make you feel better. That said, you still don't have to have anything to do with them. That's my philosophy, anyway.

    And my creativity goes in spells, too, so there's no reason to worry about yours coming back. It will.

    There. Please feel better.

  2. Everyone recovers from this kind of loss at a different pace (I'm not sure that's the right word). Your just have to be kind to yourself and allow however much time you need. One of the best things about self-publishing is that your deadline is of your own choosing.

    As for the other matter, I'm surprised that you describe yourself as you have here. To me, you've always been the most patient, forgiving person I've ever known. But knowing who you're talking about, I understand completely.

  3. So you're saying she tried to sort of sneak back into your FB life? And you're having a bit of a creative block, and a kitty licked your face? God, I HATE days like this!

  4. Sorry to hear that. Know what you mean.

  5. Bad days have turned into weeks & months & years for some of us; file it William and carry on the best you can, but from experience it is always easier said to another then always done ourselves. Aussie hug. Love your note to self, and yes I hate deception. x

  6. Social networking sites come with block buttons for just that reason. I only wish there was an "unfollow and completely remove from my life" button.

    Sounds like you need more kitten days. I hope you get them. Go out and find the kittens if necessary. You're on the internet. It shouldn't be hard.

  7. Hugs. They are more help than words during a time of grieving. You just wrote this Blog and it is a dandy. You are still writing and still creative. The other just takes time, and patience; the latter usually isn't part of most people's make up. It is absent in mine. Hugs again.

  8. This too shall pass. Wonderful calming words. Next week you'll hopefully look back at today and laugh.

  9. What a head fuck... I seriously believe social network sites need a pop in and say hello request, or perhaps an I'm sorry button. I have an ex friend that keeps trying to add me, no message attached, even though I declined and explained that I am not interested in seeing snippets of her life on my 'lounge' wall and she gave up the right to know details about my life a long time a go... I don't hate her, I'm not angry, there is nothing to forgive or forget, I just don't want her in my life... her rude, selfish personality has a lot to do with it.... The fake name and no explanation is definitely a warning sign, but sounds to me like a good way to get to all those hard to reach emotions of grieving... All the best William with your work and the healing process.

  10. Come, visit, and immerse yourself in may feel a weeny bit better.
    Jane and The REAL Maple Syrup Mob
    x xxxxx

  11. It hasn't been that long William, try not to have so many expectations from yourself and take each day for what it is. I find It totally mind boggling what some people put up on facebook for the world to see :) I really hope tomorrow is a better day for you, take care of yourself.

  12. I hope your days get better!

    Some Facebook fun you can have to stave off the leeches is to post the public every so often. It gives them a glimpse into your FB life without their having to bother you. :D

    It serves as a reminder to folks that you have a public life AND a private one, in which only friends are invited to participate.

  13. @Cheryl: today's a bit better.

    @Norma: it's a long process. I'm seeing that now.

    @Cheryl: Kitties licking faces is very welcome.

    @Shelly: thanks.

    @Cindy: Aussie hugs come in very handy!

    @JE: Plenty of kitties out there, after all. Said hello to a very friendly one this morning.

  14. @Mari: thank you.

    @Eve: I hope so.

    @Ida: those kind of buttons would be very handy right about now.

    @Jane: cats are just what the doctor ordered!

    @Grace: thank you.

    @Diane: one day at a time.

  15. It hasn't been that long and somehow things do start to feel better. Your last pic should have given you a big smile I hope - it did me! Hope the days ahead feel nicer to you.

  16. What an awful day--and to top it off with a head game:(. I hope today was a better day. The grief will ease with time.

  17. I'm sorry about your day! Days like that call for something to drink and hiding from the world, imho. Hopefully things go better tomorrow, and you're able to get your concentration back (I hate that feeling!).

  18. Why does everything bad happen at once? By the time you read this I hope things have gotten better and hang in there!

  19. Oh boy, hope you get a good nights sleep and wake up tomorrow with a new spirit and lots of good luck!

  20. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

  21. They say it can only go up, and I hope it does for you too. I went through a long period of grief and mourning, be gentle with yourself. Everyone grieves differently and the fact you are doing so only shows you are a human being with feelings. A fantastic thing.

  22. Sorry you had such a bad day. Hope your week has gotten better.

  23. @RedPat: all in good time.

    @Maria: 0ne day as they come along, I think...

    @Meradeth: it's a feeling I despise...

    @Deb: slow but sure, things aren't like they were when I wrote that.

  24. @Angelika: sleep is a bit of a rare thing for me, it feels...

    @Kelly: getting through each day is what I'm working on.

    @LondonLulu: thank you.

    @Auden: thanks.


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