Holding Santa For Ransom And Other Misadventures

"I will remind you, sir, that you dress in a big red suit, and run a secretive global operation handing out free toys to children, thus undermining the capitalist free market, so I think we already know the answer to the next question. I will ask you, sir, are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the communist party?"

"Ho ho ho! Senator Joe's been a bad boy! Ho ho ho!"  ~ taken from Congressional transcripts, exchange between Senator McCarthy and Santa Claus, December 1953

"Hello, 911? I need to report a shooting. Yes. Well, I did the shooting. Um, yes, the person I shot is still here. I think he's dead. Well, I heard some noise on the roof, and in the chimney, and downstairs, so I came down with my elephant gun... I keep that in the house just in case, and there he was, this big guy in a red suit with a long white beard. He had a huge bag over his shoulder, and he was crouched by my Christmas tree. So I shot him. I thought he was going to steal everything... well, that's not the worst part. I think he's Santa. At least that's what his wallet says. Hey, I thought Santa didn't actually exist! What am I supposed to tell my grandkids when they turn up in the morning and Grandpa and Granny's house is a crime scene?" ~ Bob Twigell, after shooting Santa, Boise Idaho, 1998

"Listen, you insufferable twit. For the last time, I am not that Lars Ulrich, so stop asking me questions about whether or not Metallica is putting out a Christmas album!!" ~ RCMP Inspector Lars Ulrich, just before dropping Access Hollywood reporter Skip Jones into Dead Man's Canyon, December 2012

Well, it's Christmas once more, and so I have other places for you to see. For a more serious look at Christmas Past, check out Norma's blog. Over at our joint blog, we have a Without A Word blog marking Christmas. Eve puts her own spin on Twas The Night Before Christmas at The Desert Rocks. Lena marks the serious side of the season at her blog Pearldrops on the Page. Krisztina has been doing a Christmas blog filled with ideas and recipes for the season. At her blog Two Little Square Dogs, Gayle has Christmas decorations up and about. Karla has her own Christmas greetings and an offer at her blog, Telega Tales. Tracy reflects on Christmas at Expression Express.  Old Kitty and her cats send you Christmas greetings at Ten Lives And Second Chances. And GK writes a very different kind of Santa letter at her blog.

And for photo blogs marking the season, check out these photo blogs: Bob at Saint Louis Daily Photo, Grace at Perth Daily Photo, Red Pat at Occasional Toronto, Ben and Fern at Victoria Daily Photo, LondonLulu at Princeton Daily Photo, and Virginia at Birmingham Daily Photo. 

On this Christmas Eve, I thought I'd go all out with an image blog of cartoons, editorial cartoons, and cute dog and cat pics all around. Have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year, and whatever you do, don't ask Inspector Ulrich to jam with your band in a heavy metal rendition of Jingle Bells. It really, really annoys him.

"I'd better get a really good bone as a present for dressing like this..."

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