7:35 AM. Wake up time. Off in search of human.
7:37 AM. Have found human still asleep in bed. Must wake up human. Pad up to bedside and lick her face. Human grumbles and growls. Human does that a lot first thing in the morning....
7:50 AM. Human comes downstairs and lets me out for my morning run. Off I go, in pursuit of adventure and rabbits. And those annoying little squirrels. I hate squirrels.
9:10 AM. Back home at last. Have been running around the farm like a maniac, sprinting as if my life depended on it. Is anything else that much fun?
9:15 AM. Breakfast missing. This is curious. Human, where is my breakfast?
9:17 AM. Human hooks leash to my collar. But I just came in from a run. What about breakfast?
9:22 AM. Human takes me out to car, saying we're going for a drive. Well, okay, I mean, I love drives, but I'm still confused about the whole missing my breakfast thing. Human? Human? Hey, could you answer my question?
10:05 AM. Human pulls into parking lot of strangely familiar house in countryside. Wondering where I've seen this place before. Human takes me out by leash, bringing me towards front door.
10:06 AM. In front door. Oh no! Now I remember! The slightly antiseptic smell! The brightly lit reception area! The overly friendly receptionist! The cats sitting with their humans, in those silly carry box things!
She brought me to the vet!
10:25 AM. Receptionist calls us in to see Doctor Carter, or as I call her, Doctor Torture. I don't care how friendly she passes herself off as, anyone who injects whatever that stuff is into me whenever I come here operates under cruel and unusual treatment procedures. Human, how could you do this to me? Don't give me that whole regular checkup line. I hate the vet! Every animal hates the vet! I bet if the vet has a dog of her own at home, that dog hates her too!
10:35 AM. Doctor Torture comes into examining room. I detect the slight smell of cat hair on her. Conspiring with the enemy. Another strike against her! Doctor Torture and my human make small talk and chatter away, as if my dislike of vets means nothing.
10:45 AM. Feel sharp prick in my hind quarters. Why do I need shots? Human, you do realize I'm going to have to chew slippers for this outrageous turn of events?
11:00 AM. Doctor Torture is finally finished with me. She and my human chat amicably, and suggest they meet up for lunch next week. Just as long as Doctor Torture doesn't think of coming to our home. I won't stand for it!
1:10 PM. Home at last. Feeling ravenously hungry. Human feeds me a big lunch. Still annoyed with human, but that will pass. Feeling sleepy. Note to self: be wary next time human wants to go for a drive.
5:55 PM. Back inside after long afternoon sleeping outside. Wondering if Doctor Torture put a sedative in with that shot. Evil, evil vet. There should be a law outlawing them.
6:25 PM. Human gives me supper. Apologizes for taking me to vet, but says it has to happen every once in awhile. Wondering about which slipper to chew as payback.
10:45 PM. Human finds remains of slipper in rec room. Human looks at me with dismay. Well, if you didn't take me to the vet, we wouldn't be having this discussion, would we?
Human tells me she's sleeping alone tonight.
Okay, I'll stay down here. Good night.
Gives me a chance to find the other slipper while I'm at it.....