Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Thursday, June 7, 2012

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

7:15 AM. Time to wake up. Bright and shiny outside.

7:20 AM. Upstairs to go wake up human. She's not too responsive. Duck head under covers. Lick bare foot. She bolts upright in bed. Grumbles about mornings, takes me downstairs to let me out.

7:40 AM. Busy running around the property. Barked at groundhog. Dug up bone I left here last week. Chewed to my heart's content.

8:10 AM. In for breakfast. Human gives me bowl of kibbles. Yum yum yum! My favourite!

8:20 AM. Finished eating breakfast. Looking at human, wondering if I can snatch one of those English muffins off the table while she's not looking.

8:25 AM. No success in Operation English Muffin. Human knows better than to turn her back on me when breakfast is on table. Will mooch something during morning tea.

8:35 AM. Human tells me her sister is coming today to visit. Oh, no. Not the sister. The sister has two human pups who like to grab my tail and make far too much noise. Thinking of making myself scarce for a few hours.

9:10 AM. Human takes me out for walkies.

9:15 AM. Spot rabbit. Start chasing. Human yells for me to come back.

9:45 AM. Finally return home after failing to catch rabbit. Human rolls her eyes and asks why she didn't just buy a cat. Try to remind human that she's not suited for cats. Stymied by lack of ability to communicate in human languages.

10:15 AM. Morning tea time. Human has scones on table. Mooch a few minutes. Mooching works. Human gives me two scones. Yum yum. My favourite!

10:45 AM. Feeling sleepy. Would rather not be caught unawares by potential arrival of sister and her noisy brood. Will sleep on back porch. Makes handy escape route when time comes.

11:55 AM. Woken up by sound of car doors closing and noisy children making noise. Bolt upright and dash off to the back forty acres. Will take refuge and wait until all clear.

12:25 PM. Strolling through field. Catch sight of neighbour's cat. Bark at it. Cat hisses at me and shows its claws. Cats are silly creatures.

3:25 PM. Wandering through woods. Chasing fawn. Misadventure turns against me when mama deer turns up. Mama deer chases me out of woods. Note to self: don't get mother deer mad at you.

4:55 PM. Return home, verifying that sister's car is gone. Feel much relieved. Human opens door for me. She tells me nephew and niece asked about me. Very understanding about my being away though. It helps that I didn't go running through mud puddles today.

6:50 PM. Human making dinner. Puts my food down for me. Kibbles and meat from the dog food can. Is there anything better in the world?

7:10 PM. Finished eating dinner. Sitting with human. Manage to mooch some of her garlic loaf from her. Yum yum yum.

11:45 PM. Bedtime. Human heads for upstairs. I follow her and settle in at the foot of the bed. Long, long day. Will have more misadventures tomorrow. Planning on chasing squirrels. And getting even with that cat.


  1. These get funnier with each one you post. It's weird how good you are at getting into these critters' heads. Dogs are so easy to please, whereas cats must BE pleased!

  2. Perfect !
    And I agree with Norma, these post are only getting funnier.
    Tomorrow on my blog thehamish does battle with the washing machine !

    cheers, parsnip

  3. Ha, I love reading these. I can so hear the voice of the dog. Also, one of my pet peeves is animals dressed as humans. It looks ridiculous!

  4. My next one, of course, is from the cat!

  5. Thanks for the smiles. Is the cat one necessary? This was wonderful. Why bother? LOL

  6. Great post! Love the dog's pov. You did a great job with his voice. where are the cats? Switching gears? Anyway, dogs are easier to please. And the pics are adorable and funny. Take care!

  7. Lol!! I like the cat walking in front of all the dogs. And the second pick...that is too true!! We recently got a German Shepard. I am such a cat person, but our new pup has me totally wrapped around her paw!

  8. @Eve: I'm a cat person, so of course!

    There'll be more of these down the line. I'm already thinking of ideas for the next day in the life of this dog....

  9. Awwww poor Attack Bear just wants a cuddle!!

    Take care

  10. Funny, as always. I love the "wear a cat" one.


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