Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Some links first off before we get started. Norma had her birthday yesterday and wrote about fast food. Maria asks at her blog about being a planner or pantser as a writer. Mark did a film review for Guardians of the Galaxy. And Whisk had this cake disaster.

Now then, it's the cat's point of view to see to...


7:55 AM. Slowly waking up. Had strange dreams. The world's supply of catnip was being held hostage by squirrels.


8:05 AM. Well, there you are, staff. I expect breakfast, post haste, and let's see some proper service too. By the way, no field rations, is that understood? You keep disappointing me first thing in the morning, and that annoys me to no end.


8:07 AM. The staff actually surprises me for once with a breakfast of tuna and a bowl of milk on the side. Sure, the tuna's out of a can, and the bowl isn't pre-warmed, but we can't have everything, can we?


8:15 AM. Out on the porch to take in the morning. I can hear that annoying mutt from down the road barking, somewhere in the distance. That dog could wake the dead with his barking.


8:30 AM. Back inside. Staff, tell me, where are you keeping your balls of yarn? I feel like unwinding something.


8:45 AM. The staff applies some catnip to my scratching post. The smell of the stuff sets me into a crazy state, of course, and I launch a full scale assault on the scratching post.


9:10 AM. Finishing up with my catnip crazy spell. Feeling a wee bit knackered. Thinking of taking a nap.


11:25 AM. Waking up. No sounds of the staff in the house. Now where did she go?


11:27 AM. Sure enough, the car's not in the driveway. Why did she take off without my permission?


11:42 AM. Staring outside. Cruella DeVil drives past in her car, fleeing for her life with a whole lot of dalmatians chasing her. 


12:05 PM. Watching noon news. No reports about crazy haired fashion divas. Nothing on the price of catnip either. Come on, media, where are your priorities?


12:20 PM. Oh, no, that little twit Justin Bieber's being interviewed. This is going off! I can't stand that waste of oxygen!


2:40 PM. Waking up from another nap. It's a rough life, I know, but someone has to do it.


2:43 PM. Still no sign of the staff! Why did she leave without my permission? It's not a workday, is it?


3:10 PM. The staff returns home. I meow incessantly as she comes in. You had better offer me up some appeasement, staff. Milk would be nice. Ice cream would be even better.


3:35 PM. The staff chatters away while we have ice cream. Too bad they don't make flavours with tuna or catnip.


4:55 PM. Sitting on front windowsill, staring outside. Contemplating the bigger questions of life. What is the meaning of the purr? Why do dogs exist? Is the universe really just one big ball of yarn?


5:40 PM. For some reason the staff has one of those entertainment news shows on. We need to have a cranky Mountie turn up and kick some butt and take some names.


5:43 PM. That stupid little twit Bieber is on again, apparently after insulting Charlie Sheen earlier in the day. I don't know which of those two is more annoying. Probably whoever's the one doing the speaking at any given moment.


5:45 PM. Charlie Sheen is rambling about busting Justin Bieber's mind wide open to the mysteries of the cosmos and the pain of fluorescent evanescence. Wow, you really need to stop doing drugs, Charlie.


6:25 PM. Having dinner with the staff. She's made omelettes for herself. I don't really get that whole egg thing myself- not quite my idea of a tasty dish, but to her credit she gives me some fried strips of meat. With milk on the side. I eat to my own delight, but I must wonder if she's buttering me up for something awful. Like a visit from some of her annoying relatives. 


8:50 PM. Staring outside for no reason. The staff is reading a book. Just for fun, I start to meow and hiss at nothing at all. That'll confuse her.


11:00 PM. National news. For some reason, despite everything else going on in the world, Justin Bieber and Charlie Sheen snarling at each other on top of the Brooklyn Bridge seems to lead off the news. 

Someone has to get their priorities straight. You should be reporting on the universe is a big ball of yarn theory.


11:06 PM. Well now why am I not surprised? Justin Bieber hits like a toddler.


11:09 PM. Both of them get arrested by the NYPD. Oh, come on! If you'd left them alone they might have fallen to their deaths! We'd be rid of both of them and the world would be a better place for it!


11:50 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff. I'll be up in awhile to walk all over your face.




Monday, August 4, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

I have some links before I get started today. Yesterday was Sunday, and so we had a Snippet Sunday post.  Cheryl writes about the possible fate of her island home at her blog. Also check out this Red Shirt Sunday post. Now then, it's time once more for my regular check ins with the canine and feline who often turn up here in my blogs. As always, the hound starts things off.


7:40 AM. Waking up. Dreamed of finding the long lost fabled Elephant Boneyard. So many bones, so little time.


7:47 AM. Good morning, human! Fine day, isn't it? How about we look into breakfast?


7:50 AM. Just finished wolfing down breakfast. Two seconds off my personal best record time for fastest breakfast.


7:55 AM. Out the door and on my run. Bye, human! If you're going out with the car, make sure I'm back before you go!


8:10 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off. It occurs to me that I am only alerting that annoying squirrel to my presence by my barking.


8:45 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. We greet each other in the customary sniffing of hindquarters and tail wags.


8:47 AM. Spike and I compare intelligence reports on movements of the enemy. Squirrels have been a scarce sighting in the last two days. We share a mutual conviction that they must be up to something.


8:52 AM. Spike and I discuss the theory that the squirrels are in a dark alliance with another dreaded enemy: the postal workers. It could only be even worse than that if they both joined forces with the vet.


8:57 AM. I part ways with Spike, promising to keep him updated on any movements of the enemy.


9:25 AM. Back home. The human's car is gone. Wait a minute, I told her to wait until I got home!


9:27 AM. Lying on the porch, practicing my moping eyes look.


10:05 AM. Where is she? I'm missing out on an opportunity to go for a drive and bark at everything while we speed past!


10:07 AM. And what if she's gone off shopping? I could have had a chance to mooch some ice cream!


11:25 AM. Waking up out of nap. Looking around. Still no sign of the human. What's that expression? A watched kettle never boils? That expression just confuses me. I mean, what does that actually mean, after all?


11:46 AM. Watching the road, just in case the car turns up. Unfortunately all I've seen is someone who looks like Cruella DeVil being chased by 101 angry dalmatians. I'd have joined in, but I must maintain my station in case my human shows up.


12:15 PM. Barking at humans showing up on the property. Growling to show them I mean business. Hey, I recognize Jehovah's Witnesses when I see them, and my human has no patience for them. This dog earns his keep!


12:26 PM. Come on, human! It's lunch time!


1:15 PM. Barking at the mailman, who's stopped his car at the mailbox. What are you leaving behind? Poison? That would be just the thing I'd expect out of a vile fiend like you. Hey! Come back here! You coward!


1:35 PM. Finally! The human is home! What did you bring me? Anything for me to chew on? Like a pair of slippers?


1:40 PM. The human is busy putting groceries away. I'm busy supervising.


1:52 PM. Success! The human gives me a bit of ice cream. Yum yum yum!


4:30 PM. Waking up out of nap. Dreamed I was chewing the slippers of the American President. For some reason the Secret Service didn't find it that amusing.


5:55 PM. Watching the human fixing dinner. Smells like stewing beef. Must keep my eyes in mooching mode at all times.


6:30 PM. The human and I settle down to dinner. I get myself some beef to chew on. Yum yum yum!


11:05 PM. Watching national news with the human. Charlie Sheen is fighting with Justin Bieber on top of the Brooklyn Bridge. The human says she hopes both of them fall off.


11:30 PM. The human turns off the television. Time for bed. Well, good night, human. I'll stay up for awhile. Maybe come upstairs later on and touch your feet with a cold nose. That would be welcome at three in the morning, right?


Saturday, August 2, 2014

Never Call The Raccoon A Raccoon

Some links before I get started today on this film review, which Norma has reviewed as well. Shelly has a new grandson to celebrate. Check out this museum at Krisztina's page. Yesterday was a Square Dog Friday at Parsnip's blog. And The Whisk asked a pressing question of the gravest importance. 


"The fate of twelve billion people is in your hands." ~ Nova Prime Rael

"So here we are. A thief, two thugs, an assassin, and a maniac. But we're not going to stand by as evil wipes out the galaxy." ~ Star Lord


Guardians Of The Galaxy is the latest in the series of films from Marvel Studios, a space faring romp through the cosmos with a gleefully anarchic sense of fun. Director James Gunn helms the film, working with fellow screenwriter Nicole Perlman in telling a story of a group of misfits out among the stars confronting threats and learning to work together. The roots in comics reach back decades, when a team by that name was first formed in the pages of Marvel comics, having adventures a thousand years in the future. The configuration of these characters, however, goes to the writers Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, who several years ago were heavily involved in writing the cosmic side of things at Marvel. Abnett and Lanning took a group of star faring characters who had been around at Marvel for years, joining forces and taking the name of the previous team. The core of that group helm this movie, and the film's story owes much to Abnett and Lanning's work. There is an ongoing series being published at the moment with the team, though I advise you to avoid it entirely- it is being written by the worst writer in the industry, a man who just happens to be the best friend of Marvel's head honcho.


The film opens up in the past, when we meet Peter Quill, a boy whose mother has just died. He is abducted by space pirates, led by the alien Yondu (Michael Rooker), and taken into the stars. Years later as an adult, Quill (Chris Pratt) has taken to calling himself Star-Lord and is in the midst of stealing a mysterious orb when he is intercepted by another alien, Korath (Djimon Hounsou). The orb itself, it turns out, happens to contain an Infinity Stone, something that can tend to be very dangerous in the wrong hands. His theft attracts other attention beyond Korath: Gamora the assassin (Zoe Saldana) is dispatched after him.


Two bounty hunter partners, a genetically altered raccoon called Rocket and a walking tree called Groot get mixed up into the mess. The interstellar peacekeeping Nova Corps arrest the lot and throw them into a cosmic prison, the Kyln, where they encounter another entity, Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista). Drax has a grudge or two against Gamora, because of her association with a big bad named Ronan (Lee Pace). Ronan is a particularly nasty fellow (at least in this movie; the comics version has tread the line from acting as an antagonist to an ally). Gamora, however, isn't loyal to Ronan, and the group find themselves banding together, first to escape, and then to deal with the grave threat Ronan and his allies pose against the galaxy as a whole.


Gunn and Perlman's story leans heavily on the influences of Abnett and Lanning, and yet tells a story that stands on its own quite well. It stands apart from the previous Marvel films in that it sets its story out among the stars, and it infuses a sense of humour into the proceedings. This reflects itself in the makeup of the team, who are brought together not particularly in a voluntary way, and bicker with each other all along. It reflects itself in small ways- the incredibly bad taste of music on Quill's Walkman (his mother's musical inclinations, was, in a word, awful), or the way no one takes Quill's personal nickname seriously. Quill himself is written as a rogue, a fish out of water with an influence of Han Solo about him, a snarky and sarcastic character. The snarkiness certainly extends to another member of the team, the cranky Rocket, a motormouth voiced by Bradley Cooper. The story, over all, builds on the classic cinematic notion of a Maguffin (the heretofore mentioned mysterious orb) that everyone wants, and while it has all of the sci-fi action you would expect out of a comic book adaptation, the story has fun with itself, in the way that a good sci-fi film ought to be.


The special effects serve the story well. Having a story set out in the stars offers a variety of realms, and special effects and CGI render these realms in different ways. The world of Xandar, home of the Nova Corps, is an orderly- somewhat too orderly- world, clean and sterile somewhat. Other places are murky, particularly the Kyln or Knowhere, a refuge the team take to. That gloom extends to the lairs of Ronan, or his patron Thanos, who we've seen before. By contrast, the archives of the Collector is a place of the bizarre, and that comes across in the special effects. At times, of course, and that's to be expected in a comic book adaptation, the action can overwhelm the story, with the explosive pyrotechnics you'd expect, but it didn't become tedious at all to me.


Where the CGI and special effects particularly come out so well are in the renderings of two main characters. Groot and Rocket certainly come across as inhabiting the same space as the actors. Part of this might involve motion capture, the techniques being used in The Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit films to such good effect. The snarky raccoon very much feels like he's scurrying about on gangways and in starships, just as much as his lumbering partner Groot comes across as a cohesive, real presence in the shots. Best of all- neither of the pair come across in the same obnoxious way as an infamous certain Star Wars character (Jar-Jar Binks, I'm looking at you). 


The cast make the most of their parts. For some it's taking things more seriously (villains tend to be quite serious, after all). For others, they're having something of a romp playing their roles, even if they can't quite show it. Glenn Close turns up as the head of the Nova Corps, and she plays the role with authority, albeit little tolerance and patience for nonsense and backtalk. She certainly comes across as a believable leader, and it's a pleasure to see her playing a very different part from what you might expect. John C. Reilly is one of her lieutenants in the Corps, and he gives his character something of a more sardonic quality. Michael Rooker, a character actor who's been in movies and television for years, plays Yondu with a slightly shifty moral worldview and a gruffness that you'd expect out of the actor from previous roles- but I liked him regardless. Benicio Del Toro returns as the Collector, after an appearance in Thor The Dark World. He's an eccentric sort of character, an elder being of the universe who seems to have a bit of a Liberace flamboyance about him, and a fondness for odd items. He plays the part as the weirdo a comics fan would imagine the Collector to be.

Djimon Hounsou has been around for years as an actor too, playing in historical dramas, action films, and more, often in memorable character roles. He plays the Kree Korath as the capable subordinate to Ronan, and gives him a rather impatient quality. There's an appearance by Josh Brolin as well, doing the voice of Thanos (a villain we'll see again). The character is as menacing as he'll continue to be down the line, and it was a good touch to give him the role. Karen Gillan plays a particularly unhinged character named Nebula. She and Gamora have connections, but are at each other's throats. I haven't seen her in anything before, but she gives Nebula a formidable, manic quality that I liked. Lee Pace has been appearing in The Hobbit films as the elven king Thranduil, and here he plays Ronan with conviction and weight. Ronan as a character has often been a villain, but sometimes not, and Pace gives him a serious, determined, and ruthless quality that you'd expect in an antagonist. His Ronan feels dangerous indeed.


Vin Diesel voices Groot- which is actually an easy job. Probably because Groot actually only speaks three words (though Rocket understands the differing meaning of those three words). I found myself wondering if Diesel got into a recording booth, did a few takes, and was done with his part for the film, or if there was motion capture involved. Bradley Cooper does the voice for Rocket, who tends to chatter a lot. This is a mixed factor for me. I didn't mind Cooper back when he was a cast member of Alias, but at some point after that, when he became famous, I began feeling a profound dislike of the actor. Fame seemed to get to his head, and frankly, the guy comes across as a complete sleazebag. That said, however, I didn't find myself distracted by that dislike. Perhaps just having the voice was a factor in that; I was listening to the character instead of the actor. Had he actively been appearing on screen, I might have felt different, but he does capture the snarkiness and crankiness of Rocket as I would expect.

Dave Bautista comes from a background in professional wrestling, so we're not talking about a formal actor here, but he actually does well as Drax. The character is a blunt force of nature, a wall of muscle driven by the idea of avenging the death of his family. Bautista really does look the part, and gives the character a  threatening, physical presence. Yet there's also in his role a degree of sympathy that we can relate to. There is much tragedy in the man, and Bautista conveys that. It's actually a surprise, because I wouldn't have expected that of a wrestler.


Zoe Saldana has been doing quite a bit of sci-fi in the last few years. She was in that miserable wretched excuse for a blockbuster otherwise known as Avatar (what can I say? I hate Avatar), and she's been a key player in the two Star Trek reboots under director J.J. Abrams. She plays Gamora as I would expect. The character is a thoroughly dangerous woman, and yet with multiple layers. She keeps much to herself, and yet is driven by a conscience and awareness of the right thing to do. She guards herself closely, but acts with courage and without hesitation when the stakes are high. Gamora finds herself puzzled by her comrades at times, impatient at others, and Saldana conveys these qualities in her performance, grounding the role in the character's need for redemption. She also brings good chemistry to her role with the last of the major players.

This is actually the first time I've seen Chris Pratt in any role. He's been on the series Parks And Recreation for years, and a look at his filmography reveals that he was in the tense Zero Dark Thirty film, but I have never seen his work. He plays the part with sarcastic glee, starting off as a man out of his element, out for himself. Placed into a crisis, however, he seems to come into his own, finding a sense of meaning for himself. He certainly exercises some of the disdain for authority that you would expect in Han Solo, for example, and I liked that, but when push comes to shove, he gives Quill a sense of leadership that feels natural for the progression of the story. Pratt's performance becomes part of the fun of the film, and a nice revelation to the viewer who's first being introduced to him as an actor.

Guardians Of The Galaxy especially cranks up the sense of fun at the box office. It features a motley group of misfits thrown into cosmic stakes danger, moves the story along at a brisk pace, and brings a good sense of humour to the proceedings. I had fun with this film; I think you will too. Even if the post-credits sequence features an extremely unwelcome character that should be cast into a black hole with all possible speed.