Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, August 4, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

I have some links before I get started today. Yesterday was Sunday, and so we had a Snippet Sunday post.  Cheryl writes about the possible fate of her island home at her blog. Also check out this Red Shirt Sunday post. Now then, it's time once more for my regular check ins with the canine and feline who often turn up here in my blogs. As always, the hound starts things off.

7:40 AM. Waking up. Dreamed of finding the long lost fabled Elephant Boneyard. So many bones, so little time.

7:47 AM. Good morning, human! Fine day, isn't it? How about we look into breakfast?

7:50 AM. Just finished wolfing down breakfast. Two seconds off my personal best record time for fastest breakfast.

7:55 AM. Out the door and on my run. Bye, human! If you're going out with the car, make sure I'm back before you go!

8:10 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off. It occurs to me that I am only alerting that annoying squirrel to my presence by my barking.

8:45 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. We greet each other in the customary sniffing of hindquarters and tail wags.

8:47 AM. Spike and I compare intelligence reports on movements of the enemy. Squirrels have been a scarce sighting in the last two days. We share a mutual conviction that they must be up to something.

8:52 AM. Spike and I discuss the theory that the squirrels are in a dark alliance with another dreaded enemy: the postal workers. It could only be even worse than that if they both joined forces with the vet.

8:57 AM. I part ways with Spike, promising to keep him updated on any movements of the enemy.

9:25 AM. Back home. The human's car is gone. Wait a minute, I told her to wait until I got home!

9:27 AM. Lying on the porch, practicing my moping eyes look.

10:05 AM. Where is she? I'm missing out on an opportunity to go for a drive and bark at everything while we speed past!

10:07 AM. And what if she's gone off shopping? I could have had a chance to mooch some ice cream!

11:25 AM. Waking up out of nap. Looking around. Still no sign of the human. What's that expression? A watched kettle never boils? That expression just confuses me. I mean, what does that actually mean, after all?

11:46 AM. Watching the road, just in case the car turns up. Unfortunately all I've seen is someone who looks like Cruella DeVil being chased by 101 angry dalmatians. I'd have joined in, but I must maintain my station in case my human shows up.

12:15 PM. Barking at humans showing up on the property. Growling to show them I mean business. Hey, I recognize Jehovah's Witnesses when I see them, and my human has no patience for them. This dog earns his keep!

12:26 PM. Come on, human! It's lunch time!

1:15 PM. Barking at the mailman, who's stopped his car at the mailbox. What are you leaving behind? Poison? That would be just the thing I'd expect out of a vile fiend like you. Hey! Come back here! You coward!

1:35 PM. Finally! The human is home! What did you bring me? Anything for me to chew on? Like a pair of slippers?

1:40 PM. The human is busy putting groceries away. I'm busy supervising.

1:52 PM. Success! The human gives me a bit of ice cream. Yum yum yum!

4:30 PM. Waking up out of nap. Dreamed I was chewing the slippers of the American President. For some reason the Secret Service didn't find it that amusing.

5:55 PM. Watching the human fixing dinner. Smells like stewing beef. Must keep my eyes in mooching mode at all times.

6:30 PM. The human and I settle down to dinner. I get myself some beef to chew on. Yum yum yum!

11:05 PM. Watching national news with the human. Charlie Sheen is fighting with Justin Bieber on top of the Brooklyn Bridge. The human says she hopes both of them fall off.

11:30 PM. The human turns off the television. Time for bed. Well, good night, human. I'll stay up for awhile. Maybe come upstairs later on and touch your feet with a cold nose. That would be welcome at three in the morning, right?


  1. Another excellent doggy 'tail' :) William I'm not sure where you get your dog and cat pics but they make me lol every time :)

  2. Love your doggie tales, but seriously...I'm stealing that baby Chihuahua!

  3. The dog recognizes Jehovah's Witnesses? That one should be taught in obedience school!

  4. I am with Norma on this one. Best dog training ever.
    Love the last photo I know that expression anywhere. nom nom nom

    cheers, parsnip

  5. Another great dog story. The dog with the curlers is hilarious. My dog would never leave them in her fur.

  6. @Grace: I find them all over!

    @Diane: isn't it a cutie?

    @Norma: it should be!

    @Parsnip: lots of noms!

    @Auden: thank you!

  7. We always know when the postman arrives--wonder why the growling hatred. Maybe our dogs delivered mail in their last life?

  8. I love the doxie pic--those ears crack me up!

  9. One of your best! Loved the cartoons. Of course, I'm partial to the Weimaraners and the Rotty puppies.

  10. The dog on the rocking horse is hysterical!

  11. @Cheryl: isn't he a cutie?

    @Eve: I've always thought it's because their humans associate what the mailman brings- bills- as a bad thing, so the dog associates the mailman as a bad person.

    @Meradeth: it's a sea of bouncing ears with them!

    @Mari: thank you!

    @Kelly: and much too cute!

  12. Great fun, William. I especially loved the Walmart woman. We were there today - god, it was awful! Crowded with old folks (like me) and the great unwashed! Ugh!


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