The Last Stand Of A Mad Scientist

You may want to read this previous post to make sense of the following....

Mad Scientist Meets His Doom After Steampunk Rampage

Vienna (AP) The threat of supervillain and mad scientist Magnus von Malice is at an end after nearly two weeks of continued global threats and demands of complete capitulation from the world’s leaders. Von Malice, the deranged graduate of the Zeppelin Von Blood Academy For The Ethically Challenged, has been known in recent years for world domination attempts, morally reprehensible science experimentation, criminal acts, and self-glorification. He escaped custody from a German prison hospital wing recently, and issued demands to the entire planet of a complete surrender to his rule, among other things.

The days following that initial video demand and narcissistic rant were followed by more video rants, each time spending an hour or so boasting about himself and his “genius mind”, in between seething vows of bloody revenge on Lars Ulrich, the Mountie who had caused him so much trouble. World leaders debated among themselves as to what to do. The French president issued white flags to be flown all over his country. The Russian president was not available for comment. The American president, if you want to call him that, tweeted up a storm. “Fake news! Magnus Von Malice is a great guy! Crooked Hillary and Lyin’ Ted and Franklin Delancey Roosevelt are to blame! Sad!”

At the UN, representatives debated endlessly. Entertainment reporters gossiped among themselves, wondering why a super villain would want the painful death of a heavy metal drummer, not realizing the Lars Ulrich in question was not that heavy metal drummer. They also speculated that sooner or later there would have to be a movie made about the fearsome Magnus Von Malice, but who would be ideal in the part? Carrot Top was the consensus for all of them- yet more proof of why entertainment reporters are pretty dumb.

As to the Mountie himself? Inspector Lars Ulrich, the world’s most dangerous and grouchy lawman, was out of reach. Mounties at his detachment refused to account for his whereabouts. The Canadian government also maintained their silence on the matter. In a detainment facility in Calgary, the former novelist and current murder suspect Jessica Fletcher, facing trial proceedings for multiple murders, issued a statement of her own. “Nobody kills Lars Ulrich but me! Do you understand??? Nobody! I want his head on a pike! His head on a pike!” The lunatic was pulled away from the visitor table at that point by guards, while her attorney told this reporter that everything she said was not to be quoted.

Von Malice, in a more recent video rant, laughed at one point about the absence of Ulrich. “He’s a coward! A coward! He refuses to take the painful death that he surely deserves like a man! But die he will, and at the hands of the greatest genius this world has ever seen! At the hands of Magnus Von Malice!” The supervillain kept laughing at this point for another five minutes, and finally calmed down, facing the camera, smirking. “Let me tell you this. My loathing for Lars Ulrich precedes his ever crossing my path and thwarting my plans! It is a blood feud that spans generations!” The supervillain glared at the screen, his hands clutching at nothing.

“Long ago, my great-grandfather, the esteemed and ruthless scientific genius Gunther Von Malice, an esteemed alumnus of the Zeppelin Von Blood Academy For The Ethically Challenged, just like me, tried to take over the Canadian West with his giant scorpion machine- which, by the way, happened a full century before that giant spider in Wild Wild West, so don’t talk to me about ripping off a bad movie. And we all know it was a bad movie, because the heroes won! Where was I? Oh, yes, Grandfather Gunther. His schemes were thwarted by another Mountie! Zane Ulrich, the great-great-grandfather of Lars Ulrich! So, you see… it’s personal. Lars Ulrich, you are going to die. Die, die, die, infinity die!”

Yesterday, the supervillain unleashed a path of destruction in the Austrian countryside. Witnesses started making panicked calls about a gigantic steampunk style mechanical scorpion stomping its way through the countryside, unleashing fireballs from its stinger, slamming into homes with its claws. At its controls above its head, behind bulletproof glass, was Magnus Von Malice himself, laughing at the destruction he was causing. Later reports and comparisons to the 19^th century version his ancestor built would confirm that this scorpion was twice as big as the one used by Gunther Von Malice. And for the record- it was still a rip off of Wild Wild West, which this reporter can concede to agree with the supervillain: it is a bad movie.

Von Malice was closing in on Vienna itself, the city of dreams, with its grand architecture at risk, after six hours of shrugging off attempts by the police to slow him down. Finally, with the city itself in sight, his scorpion machine came to a halt, and the supervillain paused to see two familiar figures standing in his path. Both were cranky. Both were exceedingly dangerous. One was a Mountie. The other was a tiny but ferocious dog.

It was Inspector Lars Ulrich. And Fluffy, Destroyer of Worlds.

The two had teamed up before, to bring down Von Malice and destroy his time machine. Authorities later confirmed the two were in Europe following leads on their mutual foe and had been summoned by the Austrian government through Interpol. Now they were face to face with a gigantic scorpion and a deranged mad scientist bent on destruction. Witnesses reported that Von Malice blathered on over a loudspeaker about an immediate surrender, and then opened fire with his flame stinger.

Ulrich and Fluffy deftly avoided the fire… and then flanked the scorpion from either side, beginning to ascend the legs. What happened next astonished onlookers, who watched the pair of ferocious grouches go to work systematically destroying Von Malice’s scorpion machine and reduce the mad scientist to a state of tears, blood, bruises, and busted bones. “It’s not fair!” Von Malice managed to gripe as he was loaded into an ambulance under the watch of Austrian police and a pair of victorious grouches. “I was supposed to rule the world!”

In the aftermath of the battle, Von Malice is being monitored under tight security as he heals from bones that have been broken yet again. The French president issued a statement insisting that he really didn’t mean to surrender control of his own country. At the White House, Donald Trump issued statements by Twitter: “Unfair! Very unfair! Magnus treated very badly! I want that Mountie thrown behind the wall I’m having Mexico pay for! Sad! Fake news covfefe!”

The gigantic scorpion machine is beyond repair, something lamented by Disney executives, who mused in the battle’s aftermath about adding it to the five times daily Disney parade in Orlando. The machine itself, shattered and busted, is nearly incomprehensible to most engineers who have had a chance to look at it. “To be honest, when you’re insane like this Von Malice guy is, sometimes you create things that nobody else is going to ever sort out how to get to work,” one told reporters.

As for the victors themselves? They were seen having a drink at a Vienna bar before parting ways. Ulrich returned to Canada and his detachment. Fluffy returned to what he was doing- being the terror of Monster Island. And Carrot Top, reached for comment, said, “Hollywood has got to cast me as this mad scientist. Please, there are loan sharks coming by the end of the day for the 150 grand I owe them, and they’re going to break my legs, man! My legs!”

Telling A Tale As Old As Time

“I never thanked you for saving my life.” ~ Belle 

“I never thanked you for not leaving me to be eaten by wolves.” ~ Beast

“If she is the one to break the spell, you must finally learn to love.” ~ Lumiere

“Well of course he can talk! It’s all he ever does!” ~ Cogsworth

“The master’s not as terrible as he appears.” ~ Mrs. Potts

“I’m coming for you, Beast!” ~ Gaston

“My dear Belle, you’re so ahead of your time. This is a small village, and it’s small minded, as well. But small also means safe.” ~ Maurice

“You take me as your prisoner, and now you want to have dinner with me? Are you insane?” ~ Belle

“Think of the one thing that you’ve always wanted. See it in your mind’s eye and feel it in your heart.” ~ Beast

In 1991, Disney released their animated version of Beauty & The Beast, a musical take on the fairy tale that I would argue is the best animated film they ever did. It featured the tale of a young restless woman who sacrifices her freedom to save her father, becoming the prisoner of a beast in an enchanted castle, with the two characters bantering as they got to know each other. The film also subverted the traditional animated fairy tale motif by having the handsome local lad end up revealed as the true monster of the story. In recent years, Disney has been adapting some of their animated films into live action counterparts, such as Cinderella, Alice In Wonderland, and The Jungle Book, while turning Sleeping Beauty in a different direction by giving us a sympathetic villainess in Maleficent. Now we have a live action take on Beauty & The Beast that follows the animated version fairly closely, adding in an extra character here or there, as well as extra songs. And while I generally dislike musicals, that doesn’t apply here.

The prologue tells us of a French prince who coldly dismisses an elderly woman seeking shelter, only to discover too late that she’s an enchantress. Seeking to teach him a lesson in humility, she places a curse on him, transforming him into a hideous beast and enchanting his castle and staff, all of whom find themselves turned into household objects. And for good measure she puts a time limit on the hex, which will last forever if he can’t earn the love of another by the time the last petal falls on the enchanted rose she leaves behind. Needless to say, this leaves the beast a wee bit annoyed.

Some years later, we meet Belle (Emma Watson), a curious and intelligent girl living in a quiet French village with her inventor father Maurice (Kevin Kline). She’s bored of the small minded routine of the village, yearning for adventure. And she finds the romantic attentions of a former soldier turned hunter and perpetual egomaniac, Gaston (Luke Evans) to be more than a little irritating. After Maurice disappears during a trip to sell his goods, Belle follows his trail to a mysterious castle, where he is being held by the Beast (Dan Stevens). She offers herself in her father’s place as his hostage.

The original animated film adapted the fairy tale into a musical fantasy form, which later became a Broadway musical, part of a pattern of Broadway over the last couple of decades to reconfigure movies into stage musicals (one thinks Broadway producers have run out of ideas). The idea of adapting that stage musical into a live film was considered for a time, but instead, with previous adaptations of animated films into live action, the decision was made to do the same, using the animated film as its source material. Bill Condon (Gods And Monsters, Kinsey, Chicago) was brought on board as director. He also had a hand in the Twilight films, directing the last two of that series, but we won’t hold that against him. Condon’s experience with Chicago is likely the most relevant for him, given the musical genre both share, and given the need for pacing, choreography, and splendor that the genre requires.

The screenplay is based on the 1991 screenplay, but was also worked on by two other writers in pre-production, Stephen Chbosky and Evan Spiliotopoulos. The story follows the original film closely, with some tweaks and additions here and there. It also preserves the original songs by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken, as well as Menken’s score, while Menken returned for additional scoring here, and a handful of new songs co-written with Tim Rice. It’s a wise thing to stick close to the original film’s storyline, which turned the traditional Disney fairy tale on its head by having the hero saved by the heroine, and by having the villain look very much like you’d have expected the traditional Disney hero to look. The story emphasizes the shifting relationship between Belle and the Beast, her strength of character, his gradual redemption, and the true ugliness of narcissism where Gaston is concerned. Along the way it weaves in mystery, Gothic moodiness, and a rich sense of humour, as well as moments of tender poignancy, some of which you already see coming, but others that are drawn out of the expanded backgrounds of both Belle and the Beast.

The production was largely done in studio sets in the UK, and the result brings to life an enchanted (and largely foreboding at first) castle, the forests around it, the hexed servants, and the quaint French village life in different ways. Some of that is CGI- the servants cursed into anthromorphic household items, for instance, would be a combination of CGI and voice work performance. They look more realistic than their animated counterparts; these objects wouldn’t look out of place in an antique shop when they’re still, but once they start talking, you’re not looking at a household object. Costuming and set design make the film a visual feast, rendering close to the look of the original film, particularly with the way the Beast looks, or Belle’s choice of clothing.

 The cast fit their roles well. Josh Gad plays Gaston’s sidekick LeFou as bumbling, much too loyal (to a point), and over the top. He’s all too eager to just take the mistreatment Gaston hands out, and spends too much time bolstering his ego. There’s a twist you might have known about in advance, which is a different spin from the animated version. Lefou is less of a weasel and a bit brighter than his animated counterpart, occasionally trying to pull Gaston back from a bad decision. Kevin Kline gets to play Maurice, who in the animated version is more eccentric (and shorter). His take on Belle’s father is protective but noble, and world weary and a bit melancholy. Kline gives the character a wonderfully poignant sensibility, particularly as the film heads towards its conclusion, and his Maurice proves to be resourceful and wry.

Stanley Tucci plays a new character added into the mix, Maestro Cadenza, the court composer who’s been turned into a harpsichord, and he gives the role a touch of class. Cadenza does have a connection to a previously established character- Madame de Gardrobe, the wardrobe of the animated film, an opera singer who happens to be his wife. Here she’s played by Broadway veteran Audra McDonald as marvelously larger than life. Another character from the original film, the housemaid transformed into a feather duster (and lover of a certain candlestick), appears as well. Plumette, as she’s called, is played by the actress Gugu Mbatha-Raw. The actress gives her vocal performance a romantic mood. Hattie Morahan appears as the Enchantress, the role expanded from being a prologue presence to turning up here and there through the film in an unexpected way. She's largely quiet, but ever watchful.

Emma Thompson takes the motherly role of Mrs. Potts, the head of the kitchen before the curse, who has found herself transformed into a tea pot. She gives the character the same sort of no-nonsense take charge spirit that Angela Lansbury did in her vocal take on the role in the animated film, not minding the idea of standing up to her overly gruff boss. Ian McKellan is an inspired choice as the brusque head of the household, Cogsworth, who has found himself transformed into a mantle clock. He’s loyal and fussy, and his constant arguing with Lumiere is a treat to watch, as it was the first time around. McKellan gets the character just right. Lumiere himself gets so many of the good lines, and it was another inspired choice to have Ewan McGregor play the charming ladies man turned candelabra. He’s a romantic flirt, brave and charging headlong into trouble, but always with an eye for an attractive lady, even if she has turned into a feather duster.

Luke Evans has that Hollywood leading man look to him, which he’s used before, as the heroic Bard in two of The Hobbit films, or as Dracula in Dracula Untold. He’s well cast here as Gaston, with chiselled good looks that quickly give way to rampant narcissism, self absorbed stroking of his own ego, an obliviousness to reality, and an underlying malice. The animated film gave the character the general looks you’d have expected out of their classic princes in their fairy tale adaptations back in the day before quickly showing him up to be a dimwitted egomaniac (it only took all of one sentence out of Gaston’s mouth to start seeing him for the jerk he was). The same applies here- Evans gives us a Gaston who’s full of himself, a chauvinist who thinks little of a woman thinking for herself. Really, he thinks little at all, because Gaston isn’t the brightest guy out there. And at the same time, there’s a nastiness in the character that Evans brings out so well, matching the animated version. Gaston is arrogance writ large, a sort of reflection of the arrogance that brought down a curse on the young prince, but unlike the Beast, there can be no redemption for him. As Belle says late in the film, Gaston is the real monster of the story.

Dan Stevens is best known for his role on Downton Abbey, which I’ve never seen, and the same applies for his current role on the series Legion. So this is the first time I’ve seen him in anything. He was a good choice as the Beast, which is part makeup and costuming (with surely some CGI thrown in along the way, because he’s taller as the Beast than he is in his human form). But it’s the actor who gives the character his heart, his personality, and his soul. The arrogance of the prince whose callous dismissal brings down a curse on himself and his home gives way to the anger, despair, and bitterness of a man transformed into what he sees as a monster. The anger and menace is how we first see him, here and there in the shadows, but behind all that is a wounded soul, brought down to humility. The gradual evolution of his relationship with Belle- first from accepting her as a substitute prisoner for her father, than to saving her life and falling for her- also follows his shifting as a character, out of despair, into accepting responsibility for his own actions and ultimately into giving up that what he wants most. He might look like a monster, but the story makes a good man out of him, someone capable of mercy to those who come to do him harm.

Emma Watson of course is best known to audiences for her role as Hermione in the Harry Potter series, but that doesn’t factor into how we see her here. She instead immerses herself into the role completely, giving Belle the innate intelligence, curiosity, resourcefulness, and spirit of the character. There’s a restlessness in Belle when we first meet her, a yearning for something more than the village life she finds herself in- and the disregard most of the villagers have where she’s concerned. The way she relates to her father is believable and affectionate, which makes her act of sacrifice, offering herself as a prisoner in her father’s place, entirely understandable. Her initial revulsion at the Beast aside (first impressions aren’t that good when the guy’s holding your dad hostage), she proves to be fearless and defiant regardless. And when she gets a chance to escape, after he’s saved her life, she instead saves him, takes care of him, and a great shift in their relationship begins. The actress brings all of this into her performance, shares great chemistry with her leading man, and gives Belle heart, poignancy, and strength as the story goes along.

Is the new live action adaptation as good as its animated counterpart? No, but that’s a high bar to catch up to; the 1991 film was as near to perfect as a film can be. Yet it stands out so very well on its own, proving to be entertaining in its own right, and a thoroughly enjoyable film. It is a lavishly filmed story with heart, humour, poignancy, and thrills, one that will tug at your heart strings while leaving you amused. Bearing in mind that I generally hate musicals, I found myself grinning more than once during showstopper tunes like Be Our Guest, but it’s the story, and the dynamics of characters, particularly the leads, that make this film so appealing. Beauty & The Beast has heart and soul, and it's well worth seeing.

Do We Say Hail To An Impersonator Chief?

While the endless election campaign unfolds south of the border, I thought the occasional review of a movie featuring a fictional (and inevitably better than most of the current crop of candidates) president would do nicely. I'm starting with this one.

“Hail to the chief, he’s the one we all say hail to. We all say hail ‘cause he keeps himself so clean! He’s got the power, that’s why he’s in the shower...” ~ Dave Kovic

“Why couldn’t you die from a stroke like everyone else?” ~ Ellen Mitchell

“I’m going to kill him.” ~ Bob Alexander 

“You can’t kill a President.” ~ Alan Reed 

“He’s not a president. He’s an ordinary person. I can kill an ordinary person.” ~ Bob Alexander

“What do you do for a living?” ~ Ellen Mitchell 

“You mean when I’m not running the country?” ~ Dave Kovic

In 1993, director Ivan Reitman brought a political comedy, Dave, to theatres, a film with an exceptional cast and a light but smart tone. The director, known for his deft touch with comedy, took the script by Gary Ross, later known for other screenplays and directing gigs of his own, and ran with it. The film is a fun, optimistic movie that pokes fun at politics, while giving the audience a tremendously likeable protagonist who comes into his own in an unlikely position.

The film opens with Dave Kovic (Kevin Kline), who runs a temp agency helping people find work, while occasionally impersonating President Bill Mitchell (Kline in a dual role) at various events as a gag. He is approached by Duane Stevenson (Ving Rhames) to pose as the President for real- after an official function in Washington. Dave assumes it’s a security issue, while in fact it’s so that the President can have a tryst with one of his White House staffers.

While Dave enjoys himself making a presidential exit, assuming that’s all there is to it, the President suffers a stroke during his interlude with his mistress, ending up in a coma. White House staffers, Chief of Staff Bob Alexander (Frank Langella) and White House communication director Alan Reed (Kevin Dunn), convince Dave to carry on with the impersonation, and Dave finds himself in the position of the most powerful man on the planet- complete with a First Lady (Sigourney Weaver) who despises her husband and a Vice President (Ben Kingsley) who he’s been warned is unbalanced.

Ross had the idea for several years before the film was made; he wrote the script while working on the Michael Dukakis campaign in 1988. His association with the producer, Lauren Shuler-Donner, got the connections to make the film, though there were delays until Reitman was available to direct. Ross would later end up writing and directing projects like Seabiscuit, Pleasantville, and The Hunger Games, and had previously written the script for Big, so he already had the required experience with comedy and characterization, which shows itself in the script for the film. The story has a breezy pace, with smart dialogue, a lot of in-jokes and nods to the political process. There’s also a fundamentally optimistic sensibility to the film; while one sees the cynicism of political operators, that is strongly contrasted by people of principles and integrity (in politics? Really?).

Reitman was a perfect choice for directing this film, with a streak of comedy films to his credit, including Ghostbusters, Twins, Animal House, and Kindergarten Cop. While the film is a comedy, and Reitman plays it that way, there are serious issues to it as well- the responsibility of power, the concept of social justice, and the notion of integrity- and Reitman doesn’t shy away from that either. He moves the film along briskly throughout- there never seems to be a slow, dull moment. Reitman’s directing style matches the warm tone of the script, strongly centered on an inherently decent person who proves to be quick on his feet. Reitman brought in a wealth of cameos along the way- from political insiders to media to actors such as Arnold Schwarzenegger- and shot the film on sets that feel like the real thing, giving the whole production a sense of authenticity.

The cast are all brilliantly chosen for their roles. Charles Grodin appears as Dave’s friend Murray, an accountant who’s no doubt used to years of helping his friend ensure that his clients get some work. Grodin plays the character as somewhat exasperated, and then stunned at what his friend has actually signed onto. Ben Kingsley is perfect as Vice President Gary Nancy; the VP is not the lunatic he’s made out to be, but instead a man of integrity and character. Ving Rhames is well cast as Duane. The actor brings the right tone of seriousness and no nonsense authority as a Secret Service presidential detail chief, all business and very little warmth, at least at first. He’s dedicated to his job, not that talkative, but as Dave gets to know him, the audience gets to like him.

The two chief staffers in on the conspiracy are played by wonderful character actors, both of whom play their roles in different ways. Kevin Dunn plays Alan Reed as sympathetic, more or less pulled into the idea despite his own reservations. He’s smart and savvy, and still has a conscience regardless of the hare brained scheme he’s become involved in. By contrast, Frank Langella’s Bob Alexander is a marvellous Machiavellian antagonist, a scheming and ruthless political operator with plans of his own, no conscience at all, and no scruples. The character is an opportunistic, ambitious weasel. Langella has spent many years of his career playing villains, and throughout the film seems to be having fun chewing the scenery.

Sigourney Weaver worked with Reitman on Ghostbusters, and she gets to play the First Lady in different ways. When we first see her, she seems cold and aloof, but when it’s clear that the President is a cheat, we can understand why. Dave is shocked when he discovers that she hates him- to great comic effect. And yet there are strongly held principles beneath the ice queen exterior, as well as a sharp mind. As the film goes along, it is a pleasure to watch her character get to know the impersonator in the Oval Office, and Weaver has great chemistry with Kline.

And speaking of the leading man, Kevin Kline is perfect as the idealistic, decent, and lovable Dave Kovic. He might seem completely out of his element taking on the impersonation gig, but he really comes into his own playing the part of the President. In fact, it’s more than one performance, as the actor plays Dave, the sleazy president Mitchell, and Dave posing as the president. Kline is charming and gives the role a spirited performance; he’s as good a dramatic actor as he is with comedic material, and the script gives him plenty to work with.

While we deal with a seemingly endless presidential campaign filled with negativity and toxic personalities, it’s refreshing to see a presidential comedy peopled with characters who understand decency, integrity, and principle. Dave has all of that, playing around with the idea of a political impersonator who’s better at the job than the man he replaces, and the film brings a rich sense of humour along the way. It’s a delight to watch.

Never Trust The Charms Of A Disreputable Wanda

Some links to see to before I get started today. Norma was busy at her blogs, writing about future works, with excerpts from an upcoming memoir and from the point of view of her late parakeet Sam. Yesterday was a Sunday, so we had a Snippet Sunday post at our joint blog. Krisztina is now living in San Antonio. Cheryl writes about damage to a tree. And Whisk has another Red Shirt Sunday post at her page.

Now then, today I have a film review for a classic comedy....

"Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?" ~ Wanda

"Apes don't read philosophy." ~ Otto

"Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not Every man for himself. And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up." ~ Wanda

"I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future." ~ Archie

 "Hey, I've lost my stutter. It's gone. I can speak. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" ~ Ken

A Fish Called Wanda is the 1988 black comedy playing off Anglo-American differences, the backstabbing of crooks, and a proper yet naive Englishman being subjected to endless pratfalls and humiliations. It brings together two members of the Monty Python group with two American actors in a deliciously devious tale about low morals with a marvelous sense of humour. Director Charles Crichton helmed the film, after a decades long career in British film and television, including the classic The Lavender Hill Mob, and co-wrote the screenplay with John Cleese of the Pythons.

The story opens up with a meeting of thieves led by George (Tom Georgeson), an English crook who seems perpetually about to blow up. His English cohort is Ken (Michael Palin), a stuttering fellow who has a devotion to animal rights and an aquarium tank full of fish, one of which he's named after George's American girlfriend Wanda (Jamie Lee Curtis). She's accompanied by Otto (Kevin Kline), who she's passing off as her brother, though they are anything but siblings. Otto thinks of himself as a bright guy, reading philosophy and commenting with regularity about why he dislikes the English. The gang carry out the theft of millions of dollars in diamonds. In the aftermath, Otto and Wanda sell out George, tipping off the police about him. Their attempt to take all the loot for themselves, however, goes awry by the fact that George has already moved it. 

George is content to remain behind bars, hiring Archie Leach (Cleese) to represent him in court. He warns Otto and Wanda that if he thought anyone might have sold him out, he might be inclined to speak to the police. And he dispatches Ken to take out the one witness who can place him in the crime. Wanda decides to get to know Archie, reasoning that he might find out where George has hidden the loot. And Otto being Otto, he gets very jealous, very antagonistic, and very stupid.

Cleese and Crichton wrote the story together, playing off the cultural difference between Americans and the English throughout the screenplay. They were already on the story long before production; Cleese was thinking about it when he co-starred in Silverado with Kline, who was one of the leads of that western, and asked Kline to take part in the idea he had in mind. Their story has a delightfully twisted sense of humour that goes darker as things go along. The characters for the most part have little in the way of ethics, and yet we can't help but like them, even if they're doing awful things. That's one of the strengths of the writing, which remains sharp and clever every single time I've seen the movie. The film received awards and nominations on both sides of the Atlantic, and is still acclaimed today as one of the truly great comedies. It's part of a genre- the heist comedy- that I find such a pleasure, and this one goes over the top. Crichton helms the film like a master, assembling a great cast and pacing the story beautifully. The film never drags, even in sequences that feature two people simply talking to each other. 

The casting is crucial to the film's success. Maria Aitkin plays Archie's harpy wife Wendy, and was nominated for a BAFTA for her performance. She's a shrew, an unpleasant person who seems more concerned with social appearance (she's the one in the marriage with the money) than with her husband's happiness or what's going on in his professional life. It's a mark of her performance that we dislike the character and yet like the actress. It's a character we wouldn't want to get on our bad side. Playing their daughter is Cynthia Cleese, John's daughter. She plays Portia (who Otto thinks is named after a car) as a completely self absorbed shallow twit. We feel great sympathy for Archie, long suffering in a family that makes us an audience feel he deserves better. Tom Georgeson is a wonderful foil as George. He spends most of the film in police custody, and comes across in nearly every word he speaks as a very angry man. By very angry, I mean that he gives you the impression of being a bomb ready to go off. It's left to the audience to wonder just what'll set him off.

The four leads are perfect in their roles. All four actors are natural scene stealers, and it's hard to pick a favourite out of them. Michael Palin of course is a veteran of the Python team, and in the years after Python has spent a good deal of his time travelling the world for the BBC (check out some of his documentaries if you haven't). It's a bit ironic that he doesn't share too much screen time with his fellow Python alumnus Cleese, but that might have been for the best; their first scene together is a marvel of patience and impatience in one person. Palin brings perfect comedic timing to his role as Ken. It's a role that would no doubt annoy advocates for stutterers, but it's uproariously funny. He is beyond annoyed with Otto, who teases him in endless ways, bets him that he won't kill an old lady, and questions him in a decidedly malicious way. Ken spends the bulk of the film trying to off the one witness who can finger George for the crime, which of course in a film like this means things go spectacularly awry in increasingly awful ways... and it makes it all the more hilarious. For an actor like Palin, who's never had a speech impediment, to play the stutterer had to be a challenge. There are two moments in the film when it goes away: when Wanda kisses him and when he manages in the end to get his revenge.

Kevin Kline won Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars for his take as Otto. It's a well deserved award, of course. He plays Otto as a dumb man who thinks he's smart, who reads nihilistic philosophy and doesn't seem to understand when he's wrong. He takes offense when anyone points out his mistakes, saying repeatedly, "don't call me stupid", even when he so painfully is. He speaks in Italian (even singing) because he knows it turns Wanda on, but he's also a jealous lover, letting his jealousy get in the way of the plan. He's like a child at times, petulant at not getting his way, not thinking things through. And at the same time he is dangerous- he knows his way around guns, tends to take things personally, and knows how to get information out of people the rough way. There's one brief moment when he gets past his innate stupidity and shows a spark of  cleverness- he tricks his opponent into setting a gun down for a fist fight, only to pick up the gun. It doesn't last long. His Otto is a loudmouth, railing at the world like a deranged lunatic... and yet Kline is clearly having a ball with the role. It's a great part for him.

Jamie Lee Curtis is also having a ball through the film, playing the underhanded backstabbing American thief. She's aroused by the sound of foreign languages- Otto's Italian does it for her, but so does Archie's knowledge of Russian. She's devious and seductive, not quite amoral, though. While she's perfectly willing to doublecross everyone else in the gang, she finds herself liking this stuffy English barrister she meets, despite the fact that he doesn't really have money of his own. She has terrific chemistry with Cleese, and that comes across whenever they're on screen together.

Cleese also has fun with his character, even if he's being subjected to pratfalls, humiliations, and other abuse (that for an actor can be rewarding). He starts out as a completely proper Englishman, not particularly appreciated at home, settled into a middle age life of being a lawyer. He's somewhat naive- he actually thinks his client is innocent, and has no idea that Wanda is playing him. And yet because his home life is so unwelcome for us to watch, we don't mind at all to see him get seduced out of it. He shows a remarkable calm under pressure- such as being dangled out of a window or held at gunpoint- and he thinks quickly on his feet as things go along and he finds himself deciding that the shady side of life isn't such a bad place to be.

The cast reunited years later for Fierce Creatures, which played off some of the same Anglo-American tensions but went in different directions. There were knowing nods to the first film, including some of the same supporting cast turning up. The end result doesn't measure up to A Fish Called Wanda, but how could it? It's an interesting counterpart nonetheless. As to this film? It's my favourite all time comedy, one that stays fresh every single time I watch it. It has plenty of oh dear God, did they actually do that moments, some morally challenged characters, and a delightfully twisted sense of humour that is totally irreverent. If you haven't seen it, you must remedy that post haste.

Just close your eyes when the little dogs are about on screen. Don't say I didn't warn you.