A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And now it is time for the point of view of that highest of life forms, the cat.

7:00 AM. Waking up at home. Slept very well. Dreamed of vengeance against my enemies.

7:03 AM. An examination of the exterior from the back of the couch. Some flying lunches out there pecking away in the grass. I wonder how soon we'll see frost. Fall is coming.

7:07 AM. Waiting on the staff to get downstairs. After all, it is breakfast time, and I haven't eaten in hours.

7:12 AM. As there's no sign of her yet, but I can hear her upstairs, I shall have to remind her to get down here by singing the song of my people, as loudly as I can.

7:20 AM. The staff finally comes downstairs. It's about time, staff. Did you know I was this close to sending a search party after you?

7:21 AM. The staff makes a remark about my singing. Yes, whatever. Now how about we get you going on my breakfast?

7:22 AM. Supervising the staff while she gets my breakfast ready. No field rations, staff, are we clear on that? I don't like field rations. 

7:23 AM. The staff puts my breakfast down on the floor. The bowl of milk and the plate of tuna meet with my approval. But she persists in putting down a bowl of field rations too.

The things I put up with....

7:25 AM. Finished with my breakfast. Milk and tuna were welcome. I have ignored the field rations. Time to give my staff a bit of peace and quiet before she goes to work.

7:40 AM. The staff is off to work. Well, farewell, staff. Do remember that we're low on milk, if you don't mind. And I could use some catnip.

7:43 AM. Sitting on the back of the couch, staring outside. Somewhere in the distance I can hear that foul mutt from down the road barking.

Stupid dog.

8:02 AM. Watching the Weather Network. They mention the cooling temperatures in the days ahead. And that suits me just fine. I'm not one for summer humidity as it is.

8:49 AM. I believe a nap is called for, if you ask me- and you are asking me.

10:55 AM. Waking up. Big stretch. A patrol of the house is in order. But first- I'm feeling a bit hungry.

10:57 AM. Disappointed to remember that the only food out in the open is that bowl of field rations.

Oh well, when in Rome....

11:25 AM. Making use of the scratching post. My claws are unleashing residual scent... oh, it's catnip. 

That'll set off catnip zoomies in three, two, one...

3:25 PM. Waking up out of a sound sleep. Catnip zoomies always end in me taking a long snooze.

Better assess what damage I might have done around the house before the staff gets home.

3:45 AM. Okay, so not too bad. Four scatter rugs upturned and in piles, but nothing busted. I'm sure the staff will look at them and mutter a few choice words of dismay.

5:10 PM. The staff arrives at home, bringing in groceries. Staff, for the record, I did that to the rugs in self defense. 

5:23 PM. The staff is putting groceries away. I approve of the milk.

6:33 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made apple and bacon pancakes, and has cut up a couple into nice bite-sized pieces for me. Very good, staff, I approve.

8:10 PM. Lying on the couch, pondering the great mysteries of existence. Is catnip the meaning of life?

9:31 PM. Allowing the staff to give me belly rubs.

11:40 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff, sleep well.

And keep the door open. Or I will have to sing you the song of my people.