Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, January 21, 2017

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time again for the point of view of the dog and the cat, starting, as always, with the dog's perspective on things...

7:23 AM. Waking up at home. Dreamed of chasing the mailman up a tree.

7:25 AM. Looking outside. Snow falling. Looks like a lot of it. This is a good thing. If it keeps the mailman away for the day, that’s not really a bad thing. On the one hand, I’ll be deprived of the chance to bark up a storm at him. On the other, it means I won’t have to see him.

7:27 AM. It occurs to me, looking at all that snow, that it might not be possible for me to go off on my usual morning run.

7:32 AM. The human comes downstairs. Well, hello, human! Did you see all that snow out there? Say, have you put any thought into breakfast? Because just between us, I’m a wee bit peckish. I haven’t had a bite to eat since that slice of pizza last night. Oh, wait, you didn’t see me snatch that.

7:36 AM. Wolfing down a big bowl of kibbles. Yum yum yum!

7:41 AM. Say, human? How about we open the door? I’d like to go out and explore a bit. Not my usual jaunt. The snow’s falling heavy enough that I can’t see the fence line out there, so I’d better err on the side of caution.

7:44 AM. Sniffing around in the yard. I suspect that annoying squirrel is staying in quarters today. 

7:52 AM. Rolling around in the snow. Thoroughly happy. I probably look a mess right now, but that’s a good thing.

7:55 AM. Barking a call out into the snow. This is probably as much communication as I’ll have with my associate down the road all day. Spike The Magnificent, Tormentor Of Squirrels, replies back. Yes, it’s as snowy there as it is here.

8:00 AM. The human calls me back inside. Oh, come on! Just five more minutes!

8:01 AM. Okay, two minutes! Two! I’ll be inside in two minutes!

8:02 AM. Oh, come on, human! You and I both know that time is a relative thing, right? Your definition of right now might not mesh with my version of right now.

8:03 AM. Coming in. Probably the right thing to do, because if I annoy her, it might mean I don’t get to mooch food at lunch.

8:04 AM. Being subjected to the Towel Of Torment. Come on, human, as I have told you many times, I am perfectly happy drying off natural by the fireplace. And there is nothing at all wrong with the smell of a wet dog.

8:12 AM. Settling in for a snooze by the fireplace. Oh, sure, I haven’t even been awake for an hour, but there’s nothing wrong with stockpiling naps.

11:37 AM. Waking up. Checking the clock. Oh, good, the chances of the human having had already eaten lunch are minimal.

11:40 AM. Looking outside. Wow! That’s a whole lot more snow!

12:03 PM. I have successfully convinced the human to give me a dinner roll. Yum yum yum!

1:09 PM. A quick glance at the clock. Then a look outside at the road. If that awful mailman is showing up today, it should be sometime in the next hour... but from the state of that road, that’s not likely. Who knows? Maybe if he did get out this morning, his car’s now buried underneath an avalanche. That’s better than he deserves, if you ask me, and of course you are asking me.

2:26 PM. Well, if that malevolent mailman was ever going to be here today, he’d have already been here, so there’ll be no sign of him. So much the better. Time for another nap.

4:31 PM. Waking up. Slept well. Dreamed of attending the funeral of that mailman.

6:02 PM. Six o’clock local news on. Coverage of the big bad snow storm. Lots of school cancelations and building closures. Lots more snow to come. I wonder why people think that’s a bad thing. It’s only a bad thing if we’ve run out of dog treats and are snowed in.

6:38 PM. Dinner with the human. Bacon pancakes definitely hit the spot!

6:54 PM. Supervising the human while she does the dishes. I’d help, you know, but there’s that whole thing about my not having opposable thumbs and thus dropping dishes. Besides, we both know you’d use a Towel Of Torment on me anyway, am I right?

8:05 PM. The human has the Weather Channel on. The meteorologist looks like he’s in a panic as he prattles on about snowfall amounts and road closings. You know, I think he needs a belly rub. That would make him feel better.

11:39 PM. The human is off to bed. Well, good night, human! Hopefully the power holds out. That can be a problem in blizzard situations like the one we’re in. Just as big a problem? If the power goes out and we’re all out of dog treats. Have you thought about that lately?


  1. Terrific post today !
    Every photo is better than the last one.... except for the Scotty at the White House Press Room that one was #1. That room is smaller than I thought when I got to see it and sit in one of the chairs. Even raised my hand. I know big dork !
    The puppy bulldog is next with the herd of puppies oh then there was ...... oh heck I loved them all.

    cheers, parsnip

  2. So cute. I LOVE bacon pancakes too!
    Wonder if your mailman is related to ours or is there some special cologne they wear that creates such
    a wild and negative response?

  3. I always enjoy these posts, William. "This is not the way to the dog park!" and having a good day 'cause "I locked Timmy in the basement" are my favorites!

  4. @Petrea: well they are so cute.

    @Parsnip: I would like to see that room, but it isn't happening in the next few years.

    @Lynn: indeed!

    @Eve: I think dogs just see them as intruders.

    @Kelly: definitely.

    @Lowell: I like writing them.

  5. LOL! Love the big doggie smile.

  6. You really should do a book of these. You couldn't use the memes, but the text alone is funny enough!

  7. I can attest to silence being suspicious, yes I can. lol


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