Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, January 23, 2017

A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And since the cat must always have the last word, here we have her point of view...

7:21 AM. Slowly waking up at home. Big stretch. Yawn to start off the day. Slept well. 

7:23 AM. Staring out the window at the vastness of my domain. Hmmm, the vastness of my domain looks decidedly smaller today. Snowing so much I can’t even see the back of the yard. Now, this could be a good thing. If the roads are bad, that might well mean that my staff won’t be able to get out to her work today. Which means she can spoil me rotten all day.

7:26 AM. The staff comes downstairs. Well, hello, staff, have you had a look outside? Just between you and I, I don’t think that car of yours is getting anywhere today.

7:29 AM. The staff is on the phone to someone. Chattering about road conditions and closed highways. Oh, that sounds good. With one caveat: it’s not good if we’re low on food in the house.

7:31 AM. I have just been informed by the staff that she’s staying home today. Oh, good! This means you can spoil me rotten all day long and give me treats and belly rubs, but only so many belly rubs at any one time, because one time too many and I go into attack mode.

7:35 AM. The staff has provided me with breakfast. I approve of the milk and tuna. I am baffled as to why she insists on providing me with field rations. 

7:38 AM. Have finished the milk and tuna. Have left the field rations alone. Perhaps the staff will take the hint.

7:43 AM. Watching the staff making her breakfast. I smell bacon.

7:47 AM. I have stared the staff into submission, and she has placed a strip of bacon down on a plate for me. Very nicely done, staff.

7:55 AM. Sitting on the back of the sofa. Staring out at the falling snow. Somewhere out there I can hear the barking of that annoying dog. Well, as long as he stays away from my property...

8:03 AM. The staff has the Weather Channel on. The forecaster looks terrified. Look, you silly person, it’s only a normal winter. Snow happens. Stop acting like you’re quaking in your boots. It’s so undignified of you.

8:11 AM. Okay, staff, now that you’ve turned off the Weather Channel, it’s time for you to spend the rest of the day spoiling me rotten.

8:15 AM. Dismayed as to why the staff has gone into her study and is now working at her computer. Wait a minute... work from home? Who said you could work from home? I know I certainly didn’t!

8:29 AM. Okay. So she’s taking this whole working from home seriously. This displeases me. Oh well, I’ll just head off and take a nap. Oh, sure, it’s only been an hour since I woke up, but as I always say, there’s no such thing as too many naps. A nap sounds like just the right solution to a serious bout of dismay with the staff.

10:56 AM. Waking up from my nap. Feeling refreshed. Revitalized. And a bit peckish.

11:01 AM. With much reluctance, I help myself to some of those field rations.

11:07 AM. Checking on with the staff. Oh, come on, you’re still working? Where’s a power outage when I need one?

12:12 PM. The staff is having her lunch. I have had some cheese slices as a treat, but am now occupying myself with head bonks to her legs to reinforce my insistence that she blow off this whole work thing for the rest of the day and start spoiling me. What good is a snow day if you’re not taking advantage of it?

12:38 PM. And lo and behold, the staff returns to doing that work thing. You know, staff, this is not how I envisioned you having a snow day.

3:44 PM. Waking up from my latest nap. Looking outside. Well, well, well, the snow really is piling up. Maybe the staff will have another snow day tomorrow, and this time she can do it right. Namely by not working.

4:06 PM. The staff comes into the living room and gives me a belly rub. Well, it’s about time. Finished with all that work stuff, are we?

4:19 PM. The staff is busy petting me. Oh, yeah, right there, behind the ear...

5:37 PM. Supervising the staff while she makes dinner. Everything smells good.

6:13 PM. Dinner with the staff. Tonight she’s having shepherd’s pie. I am forgoing all the extra ingredients in favour of the ground beef she’s placed in my bowl. Very nice, staff, and could it be that much of a bother to put this in my bowl every day?

8:26 PM. Watching the Weather Channel with the staff. The evening forecaster looks out of his mind as he predicts by this time tomorrow, people may have to resort to cannibalism to survive the blizzard. Staff? Are all forecasters this unhinged?

11:28 PM. The staff is off to bed. Well, good night, staff. Don’t close the door, because odds are I’ll be in a full blown sprint through the house mode around four AM. And by the way? If the roads are closed again tomorrow, you are totally going to spoil me rotten all day long. None of this work thing getting in our way again, are we clear?


  1. This winter has traumatized our weather people here in Montana. Poor souls... :)

  2. That kitten saying "don't make me come up there" was too cute.

  3. We have the white princess cat only in black. And boy let me tell you she was a huge princess this morning.

    cheers, parsnip

  4. The cat run reminded me of my one friend. Grumpy Cat still steals the show.

  5. When I call someone a peach, I definitely don't mean it as a compliment. ;)

  6. @Meradeth: here it depends on the weatherperson.

    @Auden: indeed!

    @Parsnip: I can imagine.

    @Mari: Grumpy rules!

    @Kelly: so noted.

  7. That photo of the cat on the podium would have made me laugh even without the caption.

  8. Love the Council of Infinite Grumps!


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