Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Breaking Out Of The Big House

Well, that's done. I'm free and clear. Out of the joint. On the lam. Released from the cooler. Yesterday I was released from thirty days in stir (otherwise known as thirty days of totally wrongful and unjustified suspension) from Facebook Jail. Or as I like to call it, the Chateau d'If. It was time well spent, mind you. This American pilot was in his cell throwing baseballs against the wall and asking what I know about moles. An old priest was helping me dig my way out and making mention of a treasure in a place called Monte Cristo. And Morgan Freeman was narrating the whole escape sequence.

It had been quite awhile since my last suspension, but I've been suspended before from Facebook. Each time it was for violating their so called "community standards". Each of those times I would swear up and down that I never came close to violating their community standards. That said, Facebook offers no avenue of appeal, and offers only silence to any objection to a suspension. They throw you out without so much as a second thought and never respond in any meaningful way. In the long run, that sort of thing is going to wind up destroying the site. Just putting that out there.

In those thirty days, I was restricted to viewing only. No posting, no likes, no messages. I know I've missed several birthdays. During a previous suspension, I even missed my own birthday- the height of irony, getting the automatic message from the dirtbags who suspended me in the first place: a happy birthday greetings from Facebook. 

This particular time, as I mentioned in a post earlier this month, it was for insulting a member of Ford Nation (come to think of it, a previous suspension had been for insulting another Ford Nationite). But the remark in question didn't come close to violating their community standards. To be honest, if you were going to throw me out, the other guy's remarks were worse, and would have warranted the same. But no, if you're a repeat offender (totally unwarranted, again, I'm just saying), Facebook tells you in their own way to go fuck yourself and tosses you out for a month. Or more. 

The community standards, of course, are a joke, a two faced hypocrisy. I've lost track of how many times I've reported remarks that have crossed the line, and yet in Facebook's opinion... "that does not violate our community standards." I've seen white supremacists, racists, bigots, and all sorts of hate mongering filth get away with whatever they want to say. Take this, for instance. 

"Whites are always gonna be the dominant race and everyone is hating on that fact. Call us racists all you want, fix your own situations before blaming the whites for ur problems (see Africa)"

That comment comes from an accountant of all things in my home town. And yet Facebook finds that comment perfectly acceptable. A comment that a white supremacist would love. Let's face it, the guy is a white supremacist. We've got a few of those extremist organizations up here too, unfortunately.

But he gets a pass from Facebook, which persists in throwing people out for no just cause, without so much as an opportunity to object or argue against it. It is nothing more than rank, two faced hypocrisy.

I know where the impulse to be snarky with jerks, twits, and knuckle-dragging buffoons comes from. The plain fact is that I spent far too much time being civil to assholes (the various exes of my sisters come to mind, and let's be honest, there are good reasons I'd prefer to never speak to my sisters themselves either, so they qualify for the title too). And that was all for naught.

So these days I don't see the point in being civil to assholes and biting my tongue.

Especially when it's so much more fun treating them with the derision and contempt they deserve.

I suppose it's just a matter of time before I get suspended again, and surely there'll be a betting pool running on how long that takes. I'm not surprised when it happens. This is the nature of what the site has become. It proclaims itself a social network and yet proving to be anything but. It throws one person out without cause, while giving free rein to hate mongerers. Sidewinding, two faced, sanctimonious hypocrites.

To Mark Zuckerberg and the rest of the hypocritical howling jackals at Facebook, I can only sum up things in this way.


  1. I haven't had this kind of experience with FB, but I had one "friend" who became so obnoxious on one of my threads that my other friends begged me to block him. I did. I've blocked people who are rude or racist on my timeline. It's MY timeline! They can go be creeps on their own timelines.

  2. Poor William! I wondered where you were on FB! Should have known!

  3. Wow. That was quite a rant. But I feel ya there, sometimes you just need to vent and shout and slam on the keypad. I like the memes you used, especially Morgan Freeman and Archer. The whole post was full of awesome.

    I don't do Facebook for a lot of the reasons you mentioned. Infact I stay away from social media altogether, because I know that I'll run into someone who says something ridiculous and I'll feel compelled to respond and before I know it I'll have wasted an afternoon that could have been better spent playing with the kids. A couple weeks ago I made one comment on a YouTube video and got a reply. I was so petrified that I never even read it. My life is stressful enough.

    Sorry for the long comment - this was something I wanted to blog about but didn't seem long enough for its own post.

    The Pedestrian Writer

  4. I think you are too smart, write in a intelligent way with real words and people like Mark become afraid.
    Shallow is the law of the land.
    I have a facebook account do not use it and I will be dropping it. I don't understand it and it just too confusing for me.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

  5. Personally, I get sick of FB, but for other reasons than yours, of course. Mostly, and this is sad, it's to stay in touch with relatives I no longer see. Well, some I don't really want to see. There are those I do see, maybe in their jobs, or bump into them, etc. But yeah.
    I've mentioned I don't friend just anyone who wants to be friends with me--especially men, because they're hunting. So, if you don't see me there much, this is why. I find it to be a pain in the ass mostly.
    Good luck in staying out of "jail", William.

  6. I once saw a cat chew through its crate the way that bird did.

  7. @Petrea: unfortunately there is no shortage of bigots out there.

    @Cheryl: tossing baseballs with a guy named Hilts.

    @Chris: youtube can be even worse at times.

    @Parsnip: it's the hypocrisy that annoys me.

    @Lorelei: I have become wary of friending anyone.

    @Kelly: animals are tenacious!

  8. Why do I get the feeling you're pissed off at the Facebook Evil Empire?

  9. Haha! Can one really escape form the FB jail?

  10. Wow, 30 days? It's hard to believe that a person can get someone suspended from Facebook and I can't even get spam off my timeline....

  11. I consider it one of my greatest decisions, not to have anything to do with Facebook. Your essay above only confirms that decision and that consideration!

  12. At least you're not making fun of Hillary Clinton; Facebook critics don't end up mysteriously dying, or shooting themselves in the back of the head.


  13. Did Mike Saxton help you with this post? Anyway, if you haven't noticed, I haven't been on in weeks. I'm bad I know. When I deleted my account for the months for the first time, it was refreshing.

    1. My last sentence makes no sense at all. Let me rephrase. When I deleted my account several months ago, it was refreshing.


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