Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better
Showing posts with label Morgan Freeman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Morgan Freeman. Show all posts

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Tales Of A Bank Manager And Scammer

 


There will never be an end to them. They plague our email accounts and our blogs with get rich quick scams and comments that have nothing to do with the subject matter. They send us stories and tall tale claims that they hope will garner them the attention of a sucker. I speak, of course, of that vile horde of useless wastes of oxygen we call homo sapiens spammeritis irritatingus. Also known as internet scammers and spammers. This pile of garbage came through my email recently.


Hello my Friend .  

My name is Mrs .Greatness K. Tetteh . I am the regional manager of Standard Chartered Bank .

I write you this proposal in good faith, I am a woman of peace. I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit you and I. As the regional manager of the Standard Chartered Bank it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra at the end of each business year.

In the course of the year 2014 business report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the manager made Three Million Seven hundred and thirty thousand United state Dollars ($3,730,000.00) which my head office isn't aware of and will never be aware of. I have placed these funds on what we call ESCROW CALL ACCOUNT with no beneficiary. As an officer of this bank I cannot be directly connected to this money, so my aim of contacting you is to assist me receive this money through VISA CARD and get 35% of the total funds as commission.

There are practically no risks involved, Because, You will receive it through VISA CARD and all I need from you is to claim as the original depositor of these funds who made the deposit with my branch so that my head office can approve the funds for you to receive the VISA CARD 

Thanking you in advance for your kind and urgent response, more so for keeping our proposal to yourself.  Therefore if you are interested to work with me just comply with your information so that I can program it to Our Data Base as the beneficiary of the funds . also to send you the application letter to apply  .

FULL NAME...........
ADDRESS.............
AGE.................
SEX.................
OCCUPATION..........
MARITAL STATUS.....
TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER......

Best regards,
Mrs .  Greatness K. Tetteh


Oh, wonderful. Now the scammers are calling themselves by a fake name that isn't even a name. Because if Greatness is a name, this is the first time I've heard it used. She, he, or it starts off by saying "my friend". I am not your friend. I have enough friends, and don't want any more. My friends don't waste my time with this crap. She identifies herself as Mrs. Greatness K. Tettah, a regional manager of Standard Chartered Bank (oh, sure), and then proposes a scheme of pilfering money from her bank with my assistance (what could possibly go wrong?). 


The standard tell tales of the scammer are there. Overly formal language and a few mistakes here and there. The capitalization of words that don't need it. The "hush hush, trust me, this is a good deal" tone of the whole thing. But it's not true. Random bankers do not reach out to complete strangers halfway around the world to help them steal from their own bank, if this story were true, which it is not. The truth of this is that this person is scamming, with a really dumb fake name. And maybe someone in that list of a half million random emails will be gullible enough to believe it.


I can't say I'm surprised. I sometimes think that writing about these in a post draws them out. I can tell you that I've had recent comments from people about a certain Cancer Widow who first spewed her tale of "I'm dying in a few months" in an email to me years ago, and who is still sending the exact same word for word email to them as well. That's impressive for someone who claimed to be on death's door a decade ago.

Oh well. They'll never learn, never stop, and never find an honest way of making a living. 

All we can do is ridicule them until they cease wasting oxygen.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

A Sad Tale Of A Mining Disaster

 

Despite all logic, they never do give up, do they? No, of course not. We couldn't be that lucky. They infest our blogs with random crap and comments that prove they didn't read what we wrote. They send us emails with get rich quick schemes that surely can't backfire (spoiler: they will). They just can't figure out a way to make an honest living, and so they continue to strike from the dark corners of the web and spew their nonsense. I speak, of course, of the all too common homo sapiens spammeritis irritatingus. Otherwise known as the internet scammer. The following nonsense came through my email recently.


Hello Frand,

Thank you for accepting my friend request, I don't know if you speak or understand the English language,  that is why I am using google translator to write to you because I do not understand nor speak your language either.

I have been in search of someone with this name. I was pushed to contact you to see how best we can assist each other. I am Mrs. Luis Gerald, working as an Audit Manager here in Garanti bank Turkey. I believe it is the will of God for me to come across you now. I am having an important business discussion  I wish to share with you which I believe will interest you because it is in connection with your last name and you are going to benefit from it.

A citizen of your country named Daniel, has a fixed deposit with my bank, valued at US$8,200,000.00 (Eight million two hundred thousand United State Dollars) . The due date for this deposit was last year. Unfortunately Gabriel was among the death victims of the 11th day of May 2012, after a heavy explosion in Turkey, where 78 miners were killed.

The management of my bank is yet to know about his death. I knew about it because he was my friend and I was his account officer when the account was opened before my promotion. However, Mr. Daniel did not mention any Next of Kin/Heir when the account was opened and he was not married and had no child. Last week my Bank's Management requested that I should give instructions on what to do about his funds if I were to renew the contract as his account officer.
 
I knew this would happen and that is why I have been looking for a means to handle the situation, because if my Bank Directors happen to know that Daniel is dead and does not have any Heir, they would claim the funds for their personal use, so I don't want such to happen. That was why when I saw your name I was happy and I am now seeking your cooperation to present you as Next of Kin/Heir to the account since you have the same last name as him and my bank headquarters will release the account to you. There is no risk involved, the transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law.
 
It is better that we claim the money than allowing the Bank Directors to claim it, they are rich already. I am not a greedy person, so I am suggesting we share the funds equally, 50/50% to both parties, my share will assist me to start my own company and use the proceeds for charity, which has been my dream.
 
Let me know your thoughts about my proposal. Please, do treat this information as confidential as I have more to write to you about his details once I receive your urgent response strictly through my personal email . 

Thanks and God bless you. Anticipating your urgent response.
Kindly write/reply through my email for more details.
 
Best Regards
Mrs. Luis Gerald.


Sigh. You'd wish that at some point they'd grow a conscience, but that's clearly asking too much. This has all the hallmarks of the standard internet scammer. The overly formal wording mixed with the poor spelling. I mean, frand? How hard is it to write friend?

They claim to be using a translator app to be writing this, but first, English is my first language, and regardless of where you are in the world, if you are a banker, you would bloody well have a solid grasp of English. But this person is not. All while claiming to be from Turkey, and in possession of a name that is not Turkish.

No, this person is a scammer.


And they can't even keep their 'facts' straight. They identify their non-existent client, who died in a mining disaster no less, as Daniel or Gabriel. Make up your mind when you're committing yourself to a scam story.

They make up the usual story about wanting to hide the money after he died in a mining disaster (how this guy had eight million dollars to his name is beside the point) from their corrupt colleagues, and so want to split the money fifty fifty with a random stranger on the far side of the world. So they can start their own company and do charitable things and all that rubbish.


Nice try, numbskull.

In an ideal world, they'd give up and just find an honest occupation, but that just isn't going to happen. So they cast this story out to hundreds of thousands of random emails praying that someone is dumb enough to believe it, and wind up losing a few thousand in administrative fees while they disappear into the night.

Come on, pal. Wake up.

Or we we start using you as target practice for one of these things.

Monday, March 10, 2025

The Vehicular Tax Threat Scammers

 


Every once in awhile, they try something new. I speak, of course, of that vile subspecies of humanity called homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus, aka the internet scammer. They will spam our comments with crap that has nothing to do with the post. They will send us ridiculous get rich quick schemes mixed in with sad stories of a dying cancer patient who wants to do good in the world. But in this case, this one I haven't seen before. This turned up in my email recently.


Dear Customer,

We are writing to inform you that we require verification of your information. Failure to comply may result in further action, which could include:

Clamping or crushing of your vehicle
Passing your details to a debt collection agency

To avoid these actions, please verify your information immediately by clicking the button below:



Now of course I'm not going to include the highlighted link that they would have sent in the first place. Because that's how they get you. Click on that, and your computer gets infected by all sorts of malware. And that's when you're really screwed. This came from a random email with a Polish internet code and a name that looked like the sort of thing that a cat would spell out by lying on a keyboard. Sent to me and probably a half million other random emails hoping someone would be dumb enough to click on the link.


They put the term vehicle tax details into the header, assuming that will get my attention. They tell me that if I fail to comply with their demands, perhaps my car will get clamped, or crushed, and a debt collection agency will get involved.

I've got some bad news for you geniuses.

I don't own a car. 


I don't really have need of one, so why buy one? And even if I did, I'd make a point of staying on top of things so I wouldn't be getting vaguely threatening emails from legitimate companies. Oh, by the way, your email isn't coming from a legitimate company. It's coming from a butt scratching nitwit in some dark corner of the web with nothing to do with his time.

So when you threaten to have my car clamped or destroyed, you might want to check and see if the person you're threatening actually owns a bloody car.

Nice try, numbskull. Do the world a favour, and we'll take this out of your playbook.

Take some sleeping pills, mix it with some booze. And settle in for a long nap in the back seat of a car. 

Which we'll have put right into a car compactor in the salvage yard. You'll be dead, and we'll be happy.

Monday, July 11, 2022

Spammers And Spam Hiccups


A couple of weeks ago I did a deep purge of one of my email accounts. One that I hadn't opened in... well, it was before Covid. My bad for ignoring an email account and letting it all pile up. In the process of that deep purge, an email caught my eye. The sort of email I like taking apart in detail for posts just like this one. Yes, I speak of course of an email from that rabid, unpleasant species otherwise known as homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus. The unfortunately all too common internet scammer. So of course I was going to have to take this one on in full. Because I can't pass on the chance to ridicule them.
                                       


From:The affiliate office of the:*International Monetary Fund,*International Fund Regulatory Board,*Capital Flight Fund Regulation,Reliance Bank LimitedLondon EC3R 8EB,United Kingdom                                                          Sub: Paymentapproval of GBP£3,150,000.00/Good day, this is a comprehensive summary as to what have been agreedon your pending transfer. The hiccup which led to delay of thetransfer of your funds into your account has been rectified inagreement with the Financial Regulatory Body of the United Kingdom.You do not have anything to fear or worry at all as the entire paperwork have been concluded and the transfer approval documents have allbeen endorsed.The transfer is approved to be completed into your account in 4 daysso that there will be no further hitches, please, note that the finalpayment approval is endorsed in favor of the Reliance Bank as theaccredited bank, therefore, we have received all your payment relatedpapers to enable us transfer the funds to you. Kindly reply andconfirm if you are still using the same bank account or, furnish youralternative bank account for immediate processing of the transfer intoyour account.A waiting for your prompt reply and make sure to send your reply toMrs. Leanna McEwan on (inforeliancebank@accountant.com).Faithfully,Mrs. Leanna McEwanHead of operation/services &Commercial Director.Reliance Bank LimitedBillingsgate, London EC3R 8EB,United KingdomFacsimile +44-155-5559-597www.reliancebankltd.com


And I'm back. Telltale signs of the internet scammer. An unsolicited email (that is mass spam-emailed to hundreds of thousands of other email addresses) claiming to be from a legitimate organization. They claim they're sending 3,150,000 pounds my way. British currency, not a standard of measurement. They use a curious term for a supposedly on the up and up email- a 'hiccup which led to delay'. How often would you hear the average high-end banker use the term hiccup? Come to think of it, how often do any of us use it? Aside from when we're actually hiccuping?  


And while we're at it, does a banker really write like this? No. This person is attempting to write in a formal way, but the tell-tales of the internet scammer shine through. Punctuation issues crop up throughout, like an excess of commas. Sentences run on when a born speaker of English would break them up. This person refers to the "Financial Regulatory Body" of the United Kingdom. An actual banker in the UK would know what it actually is. I'm not an actual banker, nor am I a Brit, so a quick look up indicates it's something called the Financial Conduct Authority. These are the gang who are supposed to keep an eye on financial providers. Such as the banks.

Whether or not they actually do their jobs is another story.


But I digress. This person, claiming to be one Leanna McEwan (who, apparently, actually does work for the real Reliance Bank) is trying to convince me (and the half a million other email addresses she, he, or it sent this same email to) that funds are about to be transferred to me. Needless to say that's not the real email address of the real Leanna McEwan, but just the start of a long daisy chain of email addresses that will end somewhere in a part of the world with no extradition treaties.

All while the person who started this in the first place does so in the hopes that a handful of the half million email addresses that received this might be in the name of someone who's gullible. Someone who might be dumb enough to pay the couple of grand of 'processing fees' meant to release the aforementioned fortune that's being transferred. A fortune that doesn't actually exist. 


Why do they do it? Do they honestly think I'll bite? I've seen too many of these emails and comments. I know better. And I've pretty much established at this point that I hate, hate, infinity hate internet spammers and scammers.

Give it up, you morons.

It's never going to work.

Because if you keep this up, we'll have to have this guy come and have a word with you.

It won't be pleasant.

Monday, February 7, 2022

Putting Up With Bloody Idiots


So how's the last few days been for you?

Mine have been thoroughly unpleasant.

Just a word: lots of coarse language ahead, but it's entirely justified.

On the last Friday of January, a horde of truckers, pick up trucks, and misguided souls started pouring into Ottawa with a truck load of grievances, misinformation, and alt-right foaming rage. They came, started occupying the streets, honking their horns, driving aimlessly all over the city, making a nuisance of themselves. National monuments and statues were disrespected. Some of them are demanding the death of the prime minister. Others are demanding the abolition of the Liberal party. Because abolishing those parties you disagree with... that's democratic. At least in their minds.

In short, the residents of this city were under siege for days on end. By fuckwits proclaiming themselves to be heroes, freedom fighters, and patriots.


I wrote the following on Facebook a week ago, on Monday morning after two nights of little sleep:

To the "freedom convoy": you're not patriots. You're not freedom fighters. You're not heroes. You're angry, misguided narrow minded fucking morons. Your convoy is being supported by a western separatist party. How is going hand in hand with separatists patriotic? So no. You're not patriots.
You came to this city, honking your horns at all hours, driving all over this city. You keep its citizens awake and on edge. You will never convince me that you're anything but angry alt right conspiracy theory anti vax, anti science, anti fact motherfuckers.
I have seen with my own eyes the Confederate flag carried in my city by you. I have heard the fucking goddamned Trumpist slogans from you with my own ears. White supremacists at their worst. In my city.
And you show disrespect to the statue of Terry Fox, and make light of it. You climb all over the War Memorial, and dance on top of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. And you want to paint yourselves as freedom loving patriots?
Freedom also means responsibility.
Do you fucking get that?
Get out of my city. Take your blaring horns and leave.
While you still can.
I've had maybe two hours sleep the last two nights total. Because assholes in pick up trucks are driving through neighbourhoods honking horns at any and all hours.
This city is being held hostage. By motherfuckers who are wearing on our last nerve. How long before we, the citizens of this city, have had our fill of it?
In short, freedom convoy: commit suicide.

And fuck you.

I took three shots of these assholes a short distance from each other. And personally told a couple of them to get out of the city in a thoroughly unpleasant way. I even left an unpleasant review at the place of business for the asshole in the third photo. That particular business is getting a lot of unpleasant Google reviews right about now. Which they deserve. Along with all of the other asshole owner-operators who thought this was a bright idea.


I photographed this sign, posted on a hydro pole; the remark comes from a place of basic sense.


So, what do we have? 

We've got a protest who, when you do a little digging, was actually started by western separatists, white supremacists, and the like. They're the ones pulling the strings behind all of this. We've got a protest that isn't a protest. Because when you occupy streets, harass the citizens of that city, drive all over it honking your horns at any hour of the night, you're not demonstrating. You're occupying. You're terrorizing. 

We've got protesters carrying around Confederate flags- and even a swastika or two. These are facts. I've seen the Confederate flags with my own eyes, and the swastika was spotted on television- defacing a Canadian flag- while an idiot member of parliament from the Conservative party was being interviewed out in the streets. It was also seen in full as one of the flags in Major's Hill Park, a short distance away from Parliament Hill.

Of course the supporters and apologists will never see that. They'll trot out the usual 'liberal Marxist operatives' line. Instead of accepting the reality that white supremacists are among these protesters.

When you're carrying around symbols of hatred- and that's what the Nazi swastika and the Confederate flags are- you're on the wrong side of history. And if you're one of the other protesters and you're not doing something about it, you're on the wrong side of history. And if you're a supporter at home making excuses and trying to explain it all away- you're on the wrong side of history.


What else do we take away from this? A multitude of downtown shops closing up instead of having to deal with the harassment and tension of the current situation. Protesters urinating and defecating on people's properties. Continuous harassment of the public with horns being honked, keeping us awake at nights. Citizens being yelled at by these assholes. Oh, yes. And hassling staff and clients at a homeless shelter, demanding food be given to them instead. 

Yes, read that last part again.

I'd say they should be ashamed of themselves, but clearly that's beyond them.


I mentioned in my Facebook post about screaming at a couple of these guys on that Monday morning. I told them to get out of my city, in extremely unpleasant terms. And I had to walk away. Why?

Because I wanted so much, in that moment, to hurt them. To bash their faces into the side of their trucks. And I can't say I would have been able to stop bashing their faces in.

That's how far this has gone.

I felt homicidal. 

I wanted to kill these two fuckers. I wanted them dead.


But I walked away. At home I felt awful that I could have had that impulse, but there it was. 

I now feel plunged into a deep depression. It's going to take time to work my way out of this one.

The important part is that I didn't follow through on that impulse. Part of that is I refuse to turn any of these fucking scum into martyrs for their goddamned cause. Part of it is that they're not worth it. They're not worth the jail time.

But when the residents of a city are effectively being held hostage by a hostile force who have no regard for anything but their own goddamned misguided world view, tempers are going to get frayed. People will snap. Someone will decide to take the law into their own hands and do what the police won't.


And the frustrating part of this has been that the cops seem to refuse to do anything about it. Yes, I'm sure they're quietly trying to negotiate with these verminous excuses for human beings to convince them to leave. They don't want to escalate the situation. But when you're not protecting the citizens you're sworn to protect, and just asking us to 'be patient' and 'avoid the downtown core' while these assholes continue to not behave peacefully and harass us... all while you do things like pose for selfies with these same assholes....

Well, you've violated the trust of the citizenry.

We won't forget that.


Living in society carries with it certain responsibilities as a citizen. These protesters scream about freedom, but as I've noted, it's freedom from responsibility. That's all they want. It's all about them, and to hell with anyone else. And they don't seem to care that their strings are being pulled by white nationalists who are largely keeping to the shadows, but who are the ones who set this in motion.

If you don't want to be a responsible citizen, fine. Go live on an island. With no infrastructure, power, or source of employment. See how long you last.

I'm tired of Covid. I want this to end. But by doing so in a responsible manner.

By listening to doctors. And science. And fact. And reason. 

All of which the alt-right anti-vaxxer movement seem to hold as obscenities. While they hold tight to their sources of information: angry talk radio hosts, a guy they know on Facebook, and the latest bit of nonsense from the dark web.


I've had as much as I can take of all of it. These people are wretched, awful excuses for human beings. When they're gone, the residents of this city are not going to forgive, or forget. The wounds caused by this run too deep.

We'll remember the police standing by and doing nothing. We'll remember our lame duck mayor fretting and doing nothing. 

But we'll really remember people calling themselves Canadians.... behaving in the most disgusting, repugnant manner, occupying our streets, harassing us, keeping us on edge, and de-legitimizing real protests.

To every last idiot member of the truck convoy protesters, and to their supporters and apologists, I have only three more things to say to you.

Fuck you.

Burn in hell.

God damn you for what you've done.