Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, October 10, 2015

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Once again, it is time for the point of view of the dog and cat, starting as always with the perspective of the resident hound, otherwise known as Loki.

7:35 AM. Waking up. Wagging tail. It’s one of those wag the tail kind of days. Of course, every day is a wag the tail kind of day.

7:38 AM. The human comes downstairs. Hello, human! Top of the morning to you! Isn’t it a wonderful day to be up and about and doing things? By the way, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but my food dish is empty

7:41 AM. Gorging myself on a big breakfast of kibbles. Yum yum yum!

7:48 AM. Out the door for my morning run. See you later, human!

7:52 AM. On my regular sprint through the back fields. Barking my head off. Free as a bird. What does that expression even mean?

7:59 AM. Sniffing at some frost on the grass. This must mean winter’s coming. For some peculiar reason I get the impression certain people don’t like that prospect.

8:09 AM. I make a stop at the property of Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hello, Spike, a bit chilly this morning, don’t you think?

8:12 AM. Spike and I confer. He notes that the local news channel his humans watch has a weather guy who was panicking last night. The forecaster said this coming winter is going to be the mother of all winters. What a strange expression. Well, Spike, the weather forecaster my human watches didn’t say that, so obviously one of them must be wrong.

8:14 AM. Spike and I discuss what kind of qualifications a weather forecaster needs, if the profession allows one to be wrong 95% of the time.

8:17 AM. We compare notes on the movements of the enemy. The squirrels- and their junior rank cousins the chipmunks- have been busy hoarding all sorts of food as of late. We suspect they might be the ones behind the Great Acorn Robbery of last week down at old MacDonald’s place.

8:21 AM. Spike and I part ways. Fortunately today being a weekend, there’ll be no sign of the mailman today.

8:32 AM. Passing through the woods. I realize I’m by the property of that cranky cat.  I give out one loud woof.

8:33 AM. Movement at one of the windows. Hey, it’s her! She looks like she’s hissing. Oh, wait... now she’s giving me the finger. Okay, cat, I get it, you don’t like me. I don’t really understand why. I mean, I’m a perfectly well behaved dog. Well, except for that time I swiped a slice of pizza out of the box, and that time I got into the cake, and what about that time I had a run-in with the skunk? Oh, and of course there’s the time I got in trouble with the porcupine...

8:39 AM. ....and we can’t forget the time I got carried away digging in the rose garden. Wait, what was all this about again? Well, that’s beside the point. Bye, cat! Cheer up! Look at the world through rose coloured glasses. Which reminds me of those roses. Mrs. MacDonald wasn’t happy with me that day....

8:53 AM. Back home. Hello, human! I don’t know about you, but I think it’s a good time for a nap. Wake me if I’m still asleep by noon.

11:35 AM. Awake. Slept quite well. Had good dreams of chewing on a bone. Okay, time to stake out the human and get myself ready to do some lunch time mooching.

11:37 AM. Oh, drat. The human appears to have left the house. No sign of the car outside. Does this mean I’ll miss out on lunchtime mooching? And that I’ve missed out on a ride in the car?

1:42 PM. The human comes back into the house, carrying grocery bags. Human! Why didn’t you wake me? I would have loved to go out for a drive!

1:45 PM. Supervising the human while she’s putting away groceries. Apparently a good part of her grocery list included small chocolate bars. Oh, that’s right. Hallowe’en is coming up soon. Trick or treaters and all that. And of course she’s putting them up on the top shelf of the pantry. Right where I can’t get at them. Human? Are you going to give me a trick or treat bag filled with dog treats on Hallowe’en night?

2:21 PM. The human is out at the barn. I am busy supervising. In return I will get dog treats when we get back. And as we all know, the world revolves around dog treats.

2:57 PM. Back in with the human. Dog treats handed over. Yum yum yum!

5:58 PM. Supervising the human while she makes dinner. Smells like spaghetti. I’m busy wagging my tail. 

6:34 PM. The human’s having spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread. Apparently the noodles, entrusted into my care, would end up making a mess, so she’s given me just the meatballs and garlic bread. Very yummy!

8:47 PM. Watching a movie with the human. This being Hallowe’en month, she’s making it a scary movie. At least this vampire doesn’t suffer from terminal sparkling syndrome.

11:38 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human! Sleep well! No need to worry about vampires. Between both of us, we had enough garlic bread to ward off vampires for the next three weeks. Twelve weeks, in the case of sparkly vampires.


  1. I'm still chuckling over the cat with the switchblade.

  2. Luke, I am your pawther! And the grumpiness spreads! Hilarious!

  3. Must Finish Race !
    Too much fun today.

    cheers, parsnip

  4. @Lynn: and such a cute kitty too!

    @Cheryl: thank you!

    @Eve: Loki is very spoiled!

    @Parsnip: thanks!

  5. Wookie and the Yorkshire Terrier are priceless!

  6. These are too funny! I'm not even sure which to comment on because I reacted to them all.

  7. You had me laughing out loud again. The cat on my desk deigned to lift her head momentarily to see what the hilarity was all about but she's safely back asleep now!

  8. This was even funnier when you read it at the meeting yesterday--though I admit that I expected a bit more barking and meowing!

  9. Hehe...the best for ma was 'I forgot to be a Dog' one!

  10. @Mari: thanks!

    @Kelly: thank you!

    @Lowell: cats will do that, wondering briefly if their human is insane.

    @Norma: I'll have to factor in meowing in the future!

    @Whisk: thank you!

    @Nas: I liked that one too.

  11. I love the doggie in the swing pic. And the Darth Vader one. So sweet.

  12. I love them all. Wilma is a sun dog. I never knew she was charging her batteries1

  13. Hahahaha!! The french bulldogs are classic. Thanks for sharing these. :D


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