Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, December 20, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Some links before we get started today. Yesterday having had been a Friday, Parsnip had a Square Dog Friday. Eve had Christmas wishes. Krisztina had a gift idea. Cheryl had parts three and four of her look at Sapelo Island. The Whisk had a Friday Question at her blog.

Today it is time to return to my regular dog and cat point of view blogs, starting as always, with the dog's point of view, and incorporating Christmas into their peculiar world view this time out. Enjoy!

7:36 AM. Waking up. Had strange dreams of barking at a bunch of flying reindeer. I wonder what that means.

7:47 AM. Well, good morning, human! Tell me, are reindeer flight-capable? Because for some reason I dreamed they were. Should we consult with Tom Clancy on the specific abilities of reindeer? Because he would spend a couple of chapters going into the ins and outs of... oh, wait, he's dead. 

Maybe we should ask Bill Nye.

Priorities first though. Breakfast!

7:51 AM. Wolfing down my kibbles. Yum yum yum!!!!

7:58 AM. Out the door for a run. See you later, human!

8:12 AM. Running through the snow, barking my head off. Deliriously happy. 

8:25 AM. Passing by the property where that cranky cat lives. I think I'll go say hello. It's Christmas Eve, after all, and peace on earth and goodwill to all that, or however that goes, right?

8:26 AM. And there she is on the back porch. For some reason she doesn't seem pleased to see me. Good morning, cat! Merry Christmas!

8:27 AM. Just to show my friendly intentions, I lick the cat's face.

She hisses, howls, and claws me instead.

8:28 AM. The cat is profoundly expressing her disdain and dislike of me in the most ardent of terms. Even calling into question my parentage. What about peace on earth and goodwill towards everyone?

8:29 AM. Shaking my head as I depart. The cat continues to lash out in hissed anger. I will never, ever, ever understand cats.

8:40 AM. Stop in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Good morning, Spike, and Merry Christmas. Have you been doing what I've been doing and sniffing Christmas presents?

8:42 AM. Spike and I discuss the baffling nature of felines. 

8:44 AM. We confer on sightings of the vile squirrels, all of whom seem to be rarely sighted these days. We agree that they must be up to something.

8:49 AM. Parting ways with Spike. We agree to keep an eye out for the squirrels and to bark warnings just in case. Even if it's at four in the morning.

9:05 AM. Back home. Hello, human! Did you miss me?

10:35 AM. Mooching scones from the human while she has tea. Yum yum yum!

Time for a nap.

12:15 PM. Waking up from nap. Did I miss lunch?

12:26 PM. Manage to use sad eyes expression to get the human to give me a cheese sandwich. I decide to refrain from scarfing another one while she's not looking... it's Christmas Eve after all, and I must be on my best behaviour.

1:34 PM. Watching A Christmas Carol with the human. You know, Scrooge could have avoided becoming such a miserly guy if he'd only had a dog.

4:58 PM. Staring at the Christmas tree. The lights are so pretty.

I wonder why humans decorate trees like this.

Particularly why they don't hang bones as ornaments.

6:05 PM. Watching the news. Apparently the former mayor of Toronto made the news again after showing up drunk in a Santa suit at a Christmas Eve mass.

That guy really needs to admit he has a problem.

6:35 PM. The human is busy finishing dinner. I'm busy watching for mooching opportunities.

6:52 PM. Having dinner with the human. Strips of beef for me. Apparently she thinks I'd make a mess out of shepherd's pie and quiche. 

Honestly, you mess up one spaghetti meal one time, and they'll never let you live it down.

8:35 PM. The human is listening to Christmas music. Why is a grandmother getting run over by a reindeer considered to be Christmas music?

10:05 PM. In the midst of listening to something called The Messiah. I respond to the Hallelujah Chorus with some rousing barking. 

11:17 PM. Watching the national news with the human. That former mayor of Toronto is making a statement about how he was in the middle of a drunken stupor when he stumbled into that mass, that it's all in the past, and doesn't matter, and what's important is that he get voted back in as mayor in 2018.

Human? Is this guy really, really, really stupid?

11:46 PM. The human's turning out the lights. I will stay down here tonight, human. But before you go... are you not going to leave out milk and cookies for me to eat... I mean, for Santa to have?


  1. Thanks for the laughs. You do these things so very well! My favorite is the "mop," but they're all great!

    Have a super weekend!

  2. 'You're late,slave'...resonates for some reason.
    Jane x

  3. I've seen those bacon lovers outside my window...

  4. Oh My Goodness the cute is killing me !
    This is the best one yet. The first photo is beyond perfect !

    cheers, parsnip

  5. @Whisk: isn't it cute?

    @Lowell: and such an adorable mop!

    @Jane and Chris: cats will think that way.

    @Lynn: and no amount of bacon will sate their appetite.

    @Parsnip: a pleasure to amuse you!

  6. The laptop dog is so cute! But then again, I like the dachshund through the snow a lot, too!

  7. Oh so cute. Cranky cats and reindeer dreams. Adorable! Thanks for the mention!! Now I know where Santa's cookies disappear to....

  8. I just cracked up over several of these. Thanks for the laughs. :)

  9. You're the only blog author who makes me want to buy another English bulldog! Those puppies are adorable. :)

  10. Loved the mop! And where did you come up with the last one?

  11. I love them all. Dachshund through the snow is special, but so is the laptop dog and the sleep-over and...

    The ex-mayor didn't really do that, did he? Nah, you're just thinking ahead.

  12. @Cheryl: the daschie's a cutie!

    @Eve: the dog can't resist the cookies!

    @Norma: isn't the Dog of Thunder cute?

    @Kelly: you're welcome!

    @Diane: bulldogs are so adorable!

    @Mari: I just came across him!

    @Petrea: I wouldn't put it past him, but he hasn't done it yet!

  13. While in Roanoke, VA today, waiting to catch our flight home....we went to the mall and saw two baby English bulldogs for sale. One was completely heart broke knowing I couldn't get it. LOL

  14. Love the dog holding onto the cat. That was great!


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