Newt Gingrich And The Chamber of Dirty Campaign Tricks

"If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him you are his sincere friend." ~ Abraham Lincoln

"Anyone who doesn't do everything I tell them to goes on my enemies list." ~ Newt Gingrich, 2011

What a difference a few weeks makes. After solidly winning the South Carolina primary, Newt Gingrich got his rather sizeable butt handed to him in Florida, and again in Nevada (more on that one next time out). The Republicans continue the endless process of choosing a nomination, and it looks like it might go all the way to the convention before it's settled.

I for one rather hope Santorum and Paul stay in the game a little while longer. If only for the fact that their names will be at the top of the next two election blogs. Sure, neither of them stand a chance of getting the nomination, but that doesn't mean they have to drop out yet, right?

Anyway, it was looking a bit rough for Governor Mittens for awhile after South Carolina. The front runner for so long, the man who wants the Republican nomination and yet has such little pride in himself that he's willing to overlook the fact that the party faithful would prefer anyone else in the post, got beaten by the self professed outsider (who's been a Washington insider most of his adult life), Newt Gingrich. Still, Florida saw a comeback for Governor Mittens, despite his shiftiness regarding tax payments and his galling inability to connect with people who don't routinely make ten thousand dollar bets. Maybe he pandered just enough to the retired golfers and snowbirds to have made a difference. Either that, or they recognize crazy when they see a Gingrich.

Governor Mittens and The Outsider-Insider (trademarked 2012 by yours truly) have been blasting away at each other for months now, while others have fallen away from the proceedings. They've turned their backs on Reagan's eleventh commandment: don't attack other Republicans. And they've been busy shredding each other and the rest of the competition. Meanwhile, President Obama and his staff watch everything, take notes on ways to finish off the job in the debates. Memo to the Republican party: if you're trying to commit political suicide, why not just nominate Rob Schneider?

While Governor Mittens' general lack of understanding of the average person's life and his evasiveness on his taxes continue to dog him even now, it's a different story for the Outsider-Insider. Newt's deplorable behaviour in his several marriages has become fodder for many an editorial cartoon and many a late night punchline. I've said it before, I'll say it again. This sleazeball wants to be President? Would you trust a guy who walked out on two marriages when his wives became sick? That's even worse then the cheating itself. And this weasel (yes, I know, I'm insulting weasels) campaigns on family values.

Ladies and gentlemen, a new weapon of mass destruction: The Newtron Bomb

We can't forget Santorum and Paul, though they don't get a lot of attention from the editorial cartoonists. Maybe sometime down the line, when they do decide to quit. It could be tomorrow. It could be at the convention....

Super Tuesday, as they call it, is still some time off. Nevada's just had their primaries, and there are more to come before too long. The Republicans remain locked in what appears, at least to me, to be a runaway train, on its way to a bad end with no one to stop it. That's because the reasonable-minded members of the party never got on board in the first place. They recognized a travelling circus when they saw it.

And so the endless ordeal continues. I will be back with the next in this series soon enough. In the meantime, we can count on lots more vitriol from the nominees towards each other until it's finally settled once and for all and the nominee is chosen to be the inevitable sacrifice in November.

 Too bad it can't be settled with a boxing match or some high stakes poker. At least boxing or poker finally comes to an end!