Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, June 4, 2011

He Shoots! He Scores! He... Will The People In The Second Row Stop Throwing Waffles On The Ice?

The Stanley Cup is underway once again, and this year it features the Vancouver Canucks against the Boston Bruins. So as you can imagine, a lot of Canadians are glued to their seats with anticipation. It's been eighteen years since the Cup has been won by one of our teams. Far too long, really, and when you have a team called the Anaheim Ducks win it (our Senators were robbed that year, by the way), you can imagine why it might annoy a few of my fellow Canadians.

Now while I enjoy the game, understand it, and can follow what's happening easily, I don't religiously follow the game all the time. It's not a tradition for me to watch Hockey Night In Canada on Saturday nights. Besides, somehow listening to the bigoted blowhard opinions of a mediocre former coach in between periods does nothing for me.

Aside from the Cup, this past week has seen the return of an NHL team to Winnipeg, now that the Atlanta Thrashers are folding up and heading back north. The head of the NHL, Gary Bettman, who's spent the last few years obsessively opening up franchises in places where hockey doesn't fit (Nashville? Tampa Bay? Come on!) was less then enthusiastic when making the announcement. Fans in the Prairies were over the moon.

And so the last round of the playoffs is underway. Across the land, Canadians are watching. In New York, NBC executives are shaking their heads in dismay, wishing they could have had two American teams for the finals. And the Toronto Maple Leafs, of course, have been out on the golf courses now for six weeks, thinking once more that maybe next year will be their chance at the Cup. As if that'll ever happen again...

Even the local wildlife is rooting for the home team.
Obviously Canucks fans have selective hearing. A common thing among the male half of the species.
What to do if you're a hockey fan and a U2 fan... do you attend the concert or the game? Maybe Bono will be kind enough to make a compromise....

While the series continues, surely the eternal torment of Leafs fans shall never end. They chose to hitch their fandom to a lost cause, so they deserve all the heckling they will ever get.

As for Bettman himself... aside from his failed experiment in Southern hockey, there's the whole problem of way too many headshots, fighting, and career ending concussions. Gary's response thus far has been to pull an ostrich and put his head in the sand.

...when he's not thinking of setting up an NHL franchise in Honolulu...
And regarding that bigoted blowhard mediocre former coach turned commentator, here he is....

And so Canada waits to see the outcome of the series. Will it be Vancouver that triumphs and brings the Stanley Cup back home to Canadian soil? Or will Boston take it? One thing's for sure...

The Toronto Maple Leafs won't be carrying the Cup down Yonge Street in victory anytime soon. To their fans, I can only offer up these heartfelt words.....

Nyah nyah nyah nyah!!!


  1. Hey, don't be knocking my Ducks!

    It would seem that the Leafs are to hickey what the Chicago Cubs are to baseball. (Carole, if you're reading this, sorry, but it's true. As for the Bears....)

    Still laughing at the toons....

  2. Hickey? That's the wrong kind of contact sport.

  3. That was supposed to be HOCKEY, not HICKEY!!!

  4. The Anaheim Ducks and The L.A. Kings even know better than to mess with Boston!

  5. I love the cartoon about Winnipeg getting an NHL calibre team, and the other guy asking when Toronto is going to get one...

    That loser team hasn't won the Stanley Cup since I was born...oops, maybe I'm a jinx....

  6. Great cartoons! I especially liked the last one with the leafs jersey ...Thanks for your comment on my latest blog post. I am at both goodreads and Shelfari, but probably frequent goodreads the most.

  7. Don't mess with the Ducks, when I lived in Laguna Beach several friends and I followed them thought they were a hoot.... Ice Hokey in the surf ! only in Southern California.
    Now that I live in Tucson all I have is the Diamond Backs in the hell hole that is Phoenix.... ugh ! I used to have season tickets to the Angles... miss them !

    cheers, parsnip

  8. The game of hickey, typically, starts out being learned behind the bleachers in school. If all goes well, one becomes good at it.

  9. Just to let you know. I don't do hockey, but I liked your post, Mr. Funny Pants.

  10. I needed a good laugh after writing a paper on ethics in marketing.

  11. Has it really been 18 years? Yikes! I've heard nothing about the Cup on this side of the Pond, but I wish Vancouver well.

  12. LOL LOL LOL and LOL some more!

    Go Canucks!

  13. As of this point, the Canucks are up three games to two... just one more victory. That'll shut up that horses' ass Don Cherry, who once upon a time used to coach Boston.


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