Tales Of A Bank Manager And Scammer

 

There will never be an end to them. They plague our email accounts and our blogs with get rich quick scams and comments that have nothing to do with the subject matter. They send us stories and tall tale claims that they hope will garner them the attention of a sucker. I speak, of course, of that vile horde of useless wastes of oxygen we call homo sapiens spammeritis irritatingus. Also known as internet scammers and spammers. This pile of garbage came through my email recently.

Hello my Friend .  

My name is Mrs .Greatness K. Tetteh . I am the regional manager of Standard Chartered Bank .

I write you this proposal in good faith, I am a woman of peace. I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit you and I. As the regional manager of the Standard Chartered Bank it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra at the end of each business year.

In the course of the year 2014 business report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the manager made Three Million Seven hundred and thirty thousand United state Dollars ($3,730,000.00) which my head office isn't aware of and will never be aware of. I have placed these funds on what we call ESCROW CALL ACCOUNT with no beneficiary. As an officer of this bank I cannot be directly connected to this money, so my aim of contacting you is to assist me receive this money through VISA CARD and get 35% of the total funds as commission.

There are practically no risks involved, Because, You will receive it through VISA CARD and all I need from you is to claim as the original depositor of these funds who made the deposit with my branch so that my head office can approve the funds for you to receive the VISA CARD 

Thanking you in advance for your kind and urgent response, more so for keeping our proposal to yourself.  Therefore if you are interested to work with me just comply with your information so that I can program it to Our Data Base as the beneficiary of the funds . also to send you the application letter to apply  .

FULL NAME...........

ADDRESS.............

AGE.................

SEX.................

OCCUPATION..........

MARITAL STATUS.....

TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER......

Best regards,

Mrs .  Greatness K. Tetteh

Oh, wonderful. Now the scammers are calling themselves by a fake name that isn't even a name. Because if Greatness is a name, this is the first time I've heard it used. She, he, or it starts off by saying "my friend". I am not your friend. I have enough friends, and don't want any more. My friends don't waste my time with this crap. She identifies herself as Mrs. Greatness K. Tettah, a regional manager of Standard Chartered Bank (oh, sure), and then proposes a scheme of pilfering money from her bank with my assistance (what could possibly go wrong?). 

The standard tell tales of the scammer are there. Overly formal language and a few mistakes here and there. The capitalization of words that don't need it. The "hush hush, trust me, this is a good deal" tone of the whole thing. But it's not true. Random bankers do not reach out to complete strangers halfway around the world to help them steal from their own bank, if this story were true, which it is not. The truth of this is that this person is scamming, with a really dumb fake name. And maybe someone in that list of a half million random emails will be gullible enough to believe it.

I can't say I'm surprised. I sometimes think that writing about these in a post draws them out. I can tell you that I've had recent comments from people about a certain Cancer Widow who first spewed her tale of "I'm dying in a few months" in an email to me years ago, and who is still sending the exact same word for word email to them as well. That's impressive for someone who claimed to be on death's door a decade ago.

Oh well. They'll never learn, never stop, and never find an honest way of making a living. 

All we can do is ridicule them until they cease wasting oxygen.