The Vehicular Tax Threat Scammers

 

Every once in awhile, they try something new. I speak, of course, of that vile subspecies of humanity called homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus, aka the internet scammer. They will spam our comments with crap that has nothing to do with the post. They will send us ridiculous get rich quick schemes mixed in with sad stories of a dying cancer patient who wants to do good in the world. But in this case, this one I haven't seen before. This turned up in my email recently.

Dear Customer,

We are writing to inform you that we require verification of your information. Failure to comply may result in further action, which could include:

Clamping or crushing of your vehicle

Passing your details to a debt collection agency

To avoid these actions, please verify your information immediately by clicking the button below:

Now of course I'm not going to include the highlighted link that they would have sent in the first place. Because that's how they get you. Click on that, and your computer gets infected by all sorts of malware. And that's when you're really screwed. This came from a random email with a Polish internet code and a name that looked like the sort of thing that a cat would spell out by lying on a keyboard. Sent to me and probably a half million other random emails hoping someone would be dumb enough to click on the link.

They put the term vehicle tax details into the header, assuming that will get my attention. They tell me that if I fail to comply with their demands, perhaps my car will get clamped, or crushed, and a debt collection agency will get involved.

I've got some bad news for you geniuses.

I don't own a car. 

I don't really have need of one, so why buy one? And even if I did, I'd make a point of staying on top of things so I wouldn't be getting vaguely threatening emails from legitimate companies. Oh, by the way, your email isn't coming from a legitimate company. It's coming from a butt scratching nitwit in some dark corner of the web with nothing to do with his time.

So when you threaten to have my car clamped or destroyed, you might want to check and see if the person you're threatening actually owns a bloody car.

Nice try, numbskull. Do the world a favour, and we'll take this out of your playbook.

Take some sleeping pills, mix it with some booze. And settle in for a long nap in the back seat of a car. 

Which we'll have put right into a car compactor in the salvage yard. You'll be dead, and we'll be happy.