Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, October 25, 2021

Internet Scammers, Go Rot In Hell

I've said it many times before, and I'll say it again. They will never get the point. I speak of course of the hapless wastes of oxygen commonly known as internet spammers and scammers (aka homo sapiens spammeritis irritatingus). We tell them to drop dead in public, and yet they keep coming back to infest our blog spam folders with their nonsensical crap. They send us emails with get-rich schemes and cancer widow stories that anyone with a working brain can see right through. Such as the following, which I'm sharing from my partner in crime Norma, who received it in her email some weeks back.

Hello Good day ,

Did you see the previous email I sent to you in regards to the
transfer of $11 Millions US Dollars already approved on your behalf?

Do Let me know so I can resend it.Also you can send your direct number for easy
communications here is My Private Email:

My regards to your good self,
Mrs.Burget Jan.
World Bank International Auditor Switzerland.

Oh, joy. The usual tell tales of the email scammer. Albeit brief. They start with the formal greeting: "hello. Good day." You know, you can choose one or the other. Is that too difficult? 

They ask if we'd seen the previous email (there was no previous email, because none of this is legit). They claim to be transferring eleven million dollars (or in the idiotic way they phrase it "$11 Millions US Dollars"). If they can't correctly use the word million and they insist on capitalizing words that don't need it (a classic hallmark of internet scammers), how on earth do they figure they'll ever be taken seriously?

And then there are the other issues. This person clearly can't write in a way that suggests proper education: spacing issues, punctuation issues, the aforementioned excessive capitalization. It reads like a form letter handed out at Internet Scammer University (based out of Spammerville in a back corner of Nigeria). And of course the ending tells the tale. An internet address with a Hungarian country code (the first email address in a long chain of email addresses helping this idiot cover their tracks if they actually get someone gullible enough to buy it) with a person claiming to be with the World Bank and based out of Switzerland.

Oh, sure. Right. Yes, that's believable. I'm sure that if one goes along with this totally ridiculous offer of receiving eleven million dollars from a complete stranger on the internet, nothing could possibly go wrong.

And if you believe that, I've got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn.

Nice try, scammer, but we've seen your games before. Try it on someone else in that list of five million random emails you have.

I'll leave it to a certain Vulcan to express what I think should happen to you.


Comments and opinions always welcome. If you're a spammer, your messages aren't going to last long here, even if they do make it past the spam filters. Keep it up with the spam, and I'll send Dick Cheney after you.