Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, January 16, 2023

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the point of view of the dog and the cat. As always, the dog has the first say in these things, since his attention span is so short.

7:21 AM. Waking up at home. Slept very well. Dreamed of chasing a squirrel. The little bastard got up a tree just two seconds before me.

One of these days....

7:23 AM. A check out the windows. Not dawn, but light enough that I can see things around out there. More snow in the night. Good. I like running through fresh powder. 

But first things first. Breakfast. 

7:25 AM. Waiting on the human to get downstairs and see to my breakfast. You know, breakfast is my favourite meal of the day. In a four way tie with lunch, dinner, and snacks.

7:29 AM. The human comes downstairs. I start furiously thumping my tail on the floor in greetings. Good morning, human! Fine day, isn't it? Say, how about we get started on making me some breakfast?

7:31 AM. Watching the human working on getting my breakfast ready. 

Oh boy oh boy oh boy....

7:33 AM. Licking my chops after polishing off breakfast. Just five seconds off my record time for fastest breakfast ever. 

7:38 AM. Inquiring with the human as to if she'll let me out for a run.

7:40 AM. Out the back door and on my way.

See you later, human!

7:45 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off, as happy as I can be. Life is good!

7:56 AM. Wandering through the woods.... wait a minute. Movement up ahead.

It's that squirrel!

7:57 AM. Carefully stalking the squirrel... seems to have no idea I'm here. 

Revenge at last... this is so sweet....

No, he's turning....

Damn it! He sees me!

7:58 AM. Circling around at the bottom of a tree. The squirrel is up there, looking down at me, chattering away. He's teasing me, the little bastard.

Get down here! You hear me??

Get down here and say that to my face, you coward!

8:12 AM. After much circling around the tree and barking at that infernal squirrel, I give up. He's not coming down anytime soon. 

Time to leave.

I start off. He laughs at me as I go.

I turn. One of these days, you're going to get yours. You hear me?

You're going to get yours!!!!!!

8:38 AM. Barking at the back door to let the human know I've returned. 

8:40 AM. Putting up with being subjected to the Towel of Torment to dry me off. Still feeling annoyed by coming so close to catching that squirrel. So close, but so far.

Human? I want to destroy a squirrel. Give me your credit card and let me call Acme. They always work so well for that coyote, right?

10:25 AM. The human is having coffee. I have mooched a cookie from her.

12:02 PM. The weather forecaster on the news is talking about something he's calling Snowmageddon.

What ever happened to just doing your job and taking weather as it comes?

12:15 PM. Lunch with the human. She's given me a cheese sandwich. I approve, human, I approve.

1:29 PM. Barking at the mailman as he drops stuff off at the mailbox and drives away.

Don't you ever come back! You hear me?

4:05 PM. The human is having afternoon tea. I have mooched an oatmeal cookie off her.

4:23 PM. Can't help but notice in the dying light of day that it's snowing out there.

6:35 PM. Dinner with the human. She's made herself lasagna. For whatever reason she's just given me a plate of ground beef. 

Come on, human, I'm not that messy an eater.

We can forget the spaghetti incident, right?

Oh well, beef is good.

7:05 PM. The human is setting to work on the dishes. I'd help, human, really I would, but I think it would end with some broken dishes and soap water splashed all over the kitchen.

I'll just keep the couch warm for when you get in.

7:55 PM. Belly rubs. My favourite time of the day.

9:08 PM. Pondering the great mysteries of life. Do squirrels exist for any other reason but to torment dogs?

11:45 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human. Sleep well.

I'll be on guard down here against any movement from the squirrels.

In between naps.


  1. Ha Ha, the yorkie on steroids :)

  2. Exactly! The neighborhood cats are as vile as squirrels, according to Baba, our rescue. And what's with the rain, she asks--loudly. Isn't this California?

  3. I can't find my comment and it was fabulous ! thank You for the Godzillas, wonderful. I need to copy the last one to funny.

  4. Splendid post. Drat those squirrels!


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