No Shortage Of Stupid Crooks

The following narrative is something I witnessed in person a couple of months back here. The stupidity of a stupid crook in person. It was hilarious.

Well, except for the crook, who was in a world of trouble. This is probably a typical thing for him. 

It was just an average day. Stopping in an area where I'll often stop. And on my way out, noticing a guy, pretty rough looking, sitting on a bench, kit bag beside him. Drinking from a large bottle of whiskey, vodka, whatever.

And noticing a police car pulling up right nearby him.

And that's when it became an unusual day.

Because the cop got out, walked over, started speaking to him. More than half a bottle in, he was already drunk. Or maybe he'd been drinking beforehand. I stopped, waited, watched.

It's not long before the cop has him up on his feet, walking him towards the car. Okay, maybe this is an intoxication, taking him to sleep it off. 

But no. The conversation turns heated, entirely on the part of the drunk.

And it's at this point where the drunk shoves and slaps at the cop. In a drunk way, but still.

Common sense: you don't ever hit a cop.

Not that common sense would occur to this guy.

At this point, other people are now stopping and watching. The cop pretty quickly has him down and cuffed. And is calling for backup. Right now.

Of course it doesn't take long for a radio call like that to draw in more cops. Shortly after three more cops are on site. The guy is on his feet, marched right towards the first car, securely cuffed, protesting that he wasn't doing anything wrong. Once he's in the back of the cruiser, the cops pick up his kit bag and inspect it on the front of the cruiser.

The bag had three more large bottles of booze inside.

That's the thing- the place where I was had an LCBO on site. Primary liquor distribution retail outlet in the province of Ontario.

So this dumbass robbed the place. Walked out, walked right past a bus stop where he could have grabbed the first bus he saw away from the scene...

...and instead decided to go deeper into the property and sit on a bench and drink from one of the bottles he'd stolen.

Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Suffice to say, a bad day for a dumb crook. What would have otherwise been a routine petty crime- shoplifting four bottles of booze- gets a hell of a lot more complicated and more consequential when you add resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer to the equation.

But it's probably the latest in a long line of negative interactions for this guy with the police. And not to be the last.

Because someone this dumb will not change.