A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And once again it is time for the cat to have her say. She is one of the supreme beings on the planet, after all, and must always have the last word.

7:14 AM. Waking up at home. Big stretch and a yawn. Slept exceedingly well. Dreamed of catnip.

7:17 AM. Enough light out there to make sense of what's going on. A few flying lunches around the feeders already. You're lucky you're out there and I'm in here...

7:20 AM. Waiting on the staff to get down here and see to my breakfast. After all, I can't make it myself, and that's what she's here for anyway.

7:25 AM. The staff finally comes downstairs. It's about time, staff. Did you know I've already been awake for a whole eleven minutes and still haven't been fed? Now then, time for you to rectify that...

7:27 AM. Busy reminding the staff of my specific breakfast requirements. Now then, staff, milk and meat are entirely acceptable, but the meat really ought to be served on a pre-chilled plate. It's all about optimum dining enjoyment. I keep telling you to do this, and you never do. Would it kill you to wake up a half hour early? And for the record? No field rations. Are we clear on that?

7:28 AM. The staff puts my breakfast down on the floor. The bowl of milk and plate of tuna are entirely to my satisfaction. The bowl of field rations is not.

I sigh, and set to work eating what appeals to me.

7:30 AM. Finished with breakfast: namely the milk and tuna. I have left the field rations alone. Perhaps she'll take a hint. 

7:40 AM. The staff is on her way out for the day to that work place. Very well, staff. Don't forget to pick up milk on your way home.

7:43 AM. And out she goes from the driveway. Now then, things to be considered in planning for the day. When do I take my first nap?

8:02 AM. A lot of barking coming from the woods. It's that idiot mutt from down the road. From the sounds of it, he's annoyed about something. Good.

Just as long as he doesn't come on my property, or there'll be hell to pay.

8:14 AM. I think a nap is in order. Yes, that would do nicely.

10:51 AM. Waking up out of a good nap. A patrol of the premises is in order. And a look outside to see what the flying lunches are up to.

11:03 AM. Checking out the Weather Channel. They're making mention of Snowmageddon.

Seriously? Overreacting because of a winter snowstorm?

11:51 AM. Wandering into the kitchen... and reminded by the food rations in that bowl that it's the only source of food out in the open.

Sigh. Oh well.

11:57 AM. Note to self: have a word with the staff about some sort of dispenser that will issue tuna on demand.

Of course, what will I need her for then?

Oh right, belly rubs.

1:29 PM. Woken up out of a sound sleep by the distant sound of barking from down the road. That idiot mutt. Barking at the mailman yet again.

And interrupting my well earned nap.

2:50 PM. Sharpening my claws on the scratching post has released some residual scents of catnip.

Uh oh.

Going into a catnip frenzy in three, two, one....

5:07 PM. Waking up out of a well earned nap. My catnip frenzy led me to sprint all over the house at top speed one hundred and forty seven times.

5:19 PM. The staff comes home. It's about time, staff.

By the way, if you happen to come across anything that was knocked over, blame the catnip.

Speaking of which, did you buy some more?

5:23 PM. Supervising the staff while she puts the groceries away.

Very good, staff, very good. Catnip. And milk.

I approve.

5:50 PM. The staff is busy making dinner.

This includes ground beef. 

6:32 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made a plate of ground beef for me. She insists on having hers as meatballs, with some spaghetti. 

Whatever floats your boat, staff.

7:02 PM. Heading into the living room while the staff does the dishes. 

It's not like I can do dishes anyway, and I don't want to get my paws into soapy water.

7:06 PM. The Weather Channel guys are again going on about the polar vortex and Snowmaggedon. 

Come on, grow up.

8:47 PM. Lying by the fireplace, warming my belly and thinking of life's great mysteries.

Why does the staff think the red dot is funny?

11:35 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff. Sleep well.

But keep the door open.

I reserve the right to sit on top of you and stare at you until you're obliged to wake up.