Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, October 21, 2017

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once more for the point of view of the dog and the cat. As always, the dog has the first say.

7:09 AM. Waking up at home. Still kind of dark out there. Boy, we’re seeing less and less of the sun this time of year. Like that guy keeps saying, brace yourselves, winter is coming. He’s been saying that for a long time, hasn’t he?

7:12 AM. Looking outside. Okay, so it’s not pitch black night, but the sun’s not up yet. I think we’ve got frost on the ground though. 

7:14 AM. Sounds from upstairs. Good. The human is awake. Which means sooner or later she’ll be down here, and that means it’ll be time for breakfast. And a good breakfast is always essential for a good dog like me. And I am a good dog. A very good dog. Don’t believe a thing the mailman, the vet, the mayor, or that cranky cat from down the road say about me. They’re all serial liars.

7:26 AM. The human comes downstairs. Wagging my tail with a certain furious energy. Good morning, human! How are you? Say, I don’t know about you, but I am famished. Could we do something about that?

7:28 AM. Thumping my tail with anticipation as I watch the human pour kibbles into my bowl.

7:29 AM. The human puts my bowl down on the floor. I waste no time in getting to work eating.

7:30 AM. Licking my proverbial chops after finishing breakfast. Quite satisfied. That should keep me happy until lunch.

7:35 AM. Out the door for my morning ramble. See you later, human!

7:36 AM. Sniffing around the grass. Sure enough, plenty of frost.

7:48 AM. Running through the back fields. More light now. Barking my head off. Happy as I can be.

8:02 AM. Passing by the house of that cranky cat. I wonder if she’s around. Maybe I should say hello.

8:04 AM. Coming around the front of the house. Hallowe’en decorations in the window. Oh, right, that’s in a few days. I hope my human doesn’t get it in her head to make me dress up. It’s one thing to look like a motorbiking dog. It’s another to look like a hot dog with relish and mustard. That’s beneath my dignity.

8:05 AM. I have found the cranky cat. She’s sitting on a windowsill. And she has noticed me.

8:06 AM. The cranky cat is hissing and screeching and giving me the finger. I don’t know what your problem is. I mean, I’m a very good dog. Oh, sure, there have been the odd occasions when I’ve barked you out of a sound sleep just because I thought it was funny, but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad dog…

8:07 AM. The grouchy feline continues to read me the riot act. Maybe for Hallowe’en you could dress up as someone of a gentle and friendly disposition. Just a thought.

8:08 AM. I continue to listen to the abuse and death threats of the irritated kitty, and decide that perhaps it might be best to depart before she decides to get really personal. Or send a hit-ferret after me. Bye, cat! See you tomorrow, maybe?

8:22 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels.

8:25 AM. Spike and I discuss the odd nature of the feline species in general and their lack of patience in particular. If you ask me, Spike, cats are just plain weird.

8:28 AM. Spike and I confer on the peculiar traditions of Hallowe’en. I don’t know about you, Spike, but the scariest thing I can think of for a trick or treater to dress as is a vet. That would just spook me to no end. And what is it with disfiguring pumpkins with huge knives anyway?

8:29 AM. Spike notes that for some reason, squirrels like to nibble on those pumpkins when left out on the porch. No doubt some nefarious scheme on their part. Something we’ll have to keep an eye out for, right?

8:43 AM. Back home. The human has let me back in, and I think it’s time for a nap. Circling around on the living room floor three times before settling down.

12:07 PM. Mooching some dinner rolls from the human. Yum yum yum!

1:33 PM. Barking up a storm at the mailman as he drops off some mail. Hey! Get lost!

3:58 PM. Mooching a cookie from the human while she has afternoon tea. Oatmeal tastes good.

6:40 PM. Dinner with the human. She’s given me a plate of stewing beef. Oh, this is good…

11:36 PM. The human is off to bed. Well, good night, human. Sleep well, but keep the door open. It’s near Hallowe’en, after all, and just in case there are any ghosts and goblins out and about, I’m definitely coming in and hiding under the bed.


  1. So funny so many to like. Love the little puppy attacking, dog bringing back a potato, The two friend, little dog with all the legs off the ground (just like my gud dugs) and of course the digging one.
    But really all of them were so great today.

    cheers, parsnip

  2. Thank you, William. Every bit of this makes me happy. How nice of you to do that.

  3. The attack puppy is my favorite!

  4. The Rottweiler in the mirror cracked me up.

  5. Aaahhh the life of a dog. Loved this!

  6. Such adorable animals in the pictures. One dog you've never had is a Carolina dog. I didn't know there was such a breed until my granddaughter acquired one. Beautiful animal.


Comments and opinions always welcome. If you're a spammer, your messages aren't going to last long here, even if they do make it past the spam filters. Keep it up with the spam, and I'll send Dick Cheney after you.