Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The Scammers From Scamylvania

Just when you think they went away, they come back. Yes, I'm talking about the infernal nuisances that are spammers and scammers. It had been quiet for awhile in my junk comments folder in my blogs. The same applied to my junk email. Well, knock on wood, they dragged themselves out in recent days from whatever cave they live in (too bad the cave didn't collapse on them), and they're back. I have two scammers today to take apart.

The first of the two came into my junk email, with the all too header "SPAM MY LAST RESPONSE". The second turned up in my spam folder for this blog- a comment made in a post I wrote about on internet scammers. It never fails; they seem to gravitate towards posts about scammers and spammers. I'm deleting their email addresses from the body of their scamming messages, and my comments will follow.

Good Day;

I need a Business partner for transferring a large sum of money to a foreign Account legally ,If interested, Reply me through my private email Address for more information Email

Friendly Greeting,
Executive Investment and Credit
Mr.Wang Zhiqiang

I’m Bryan Roland by name, i want to use this medium to alert all loan seekers to be very careful because there are scammers everywhere.Few months ago I was financially strained, and due to my desperation I was scammed by several online lenders. I had almost lost hope until a friend of mine referred me to a very reliable lender called Mr Roy Smith ( A God fearing man) who lend me a loan of $45,000 under 72 working hours without any stress. I explain to the company by mail and all they told me was to cry no more because i will get my loan in their company and also i have made the right choice of contacting them i filled the loan application form and proceeded with all that was requested of me and to my shock I was given the loan, If you are in need of any kind of loan just contact him now via:  I‘m using this medium to alert all loan seekers because of the hell I passed through in the hands of those fraudulent lenders.

Thanks you Barclays Loan service for your help.

It turns out that a brief look online about our friend Mr. Wang Zhiqiang (no, he's not our friend, not really, in fact, he should strap himself down near a fire ant hill and pour barbecue sauce all over himself) comes back with all sorts of warnings about him being a scammer. The email address is the exact same as in those warning discussions. And true to form, though the message is brief, there are the tell tales of ye olde internet scammer. Capitalizing words that don't need to be capitalized, such as Business. Screwing up punctuation by putting in commas where there should be periods. But seriously, sending a message with the word SPAM in the title? That's a new one to me.

It's much the same with our Bryan Roland (or whatever the scamming scammer's real name is, because it's not). Warning us all that there are scammers everywhere (yes, we know, and you're one of them), he fires off the sad story of how desperate his financial conditions were back in the day due to fraudulent lenders. Too bad he didn't throw himself off a building like they did in the Depression, but I digress. He mentions the "God fearing man" Mr. Roy Smith (it's always a God fearing man or an upright righteous man in these scams) who helped him out (Bryan? Hey, just between us, we know he didn't help you out, because you don't exist). Well of course there's no God fearing man- the scammers behind crap like this could care less about God, ethics, or laws.

They never get the message. I could tell them to find the most creative way to end their lives, but there's always more spammers and scammers to gum up the works and send more endless crap. I could tell them they should do the world a favour and contract Ebola, and they'd still send the usual Gucci bag spam and the same Nigerian scam ventures.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, for my own peace of mind, I'll still say it: throw yourself under a train. Rid the world of your vile presence. You'll be dead and I'll be happy.


  1. They are a pain. At least gmail warns me when they appear in my spam folder. There's a big red alert that says do not click on links or reply with personal info.

  2. They never give up, do they? Too bad we can't hire a spammer exterminator, the way we can hire one to get rid of bugs....

  3. Love all the baby owls !

    cheers, parsnip

  4. I remember the god fearing FBI agent who said to contact him about the money I was owed from an international fund. Because that's a plausible reason to give away your personal information.

  5. @Auden: they're only useful as fodder for blogs like this!

    @Norma: they really can't take a hint, being very stupid and all.

    @Kelly: thanks!

    @Parsnip: aren't they cute?

    @JE: that's a different angle on the usual scam!

  6. Why do they believe such messages work? Oh, right, all it takes is one. May the train they go under grind them to pieces.

  7. All of the recent spammers on my blog have been attempting to get me to purchase knock-off purses, or look at illicit photos. smh. The world would be better without them!

  8. A curse would be great. If only I had passed my witch exams...


Comments and opinions always welcome. If you're a spammer, your messages aren't going to last long here, even if they do make it past the spam filters. Keep it up with the spam, and I'll send Dick Cheney after you.