A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Some links before getting started today. Norma posted about an unlikely transformation. Cheryl made note of her ill cat. Ivy had a Captain America bit.And Mark wrote about whether writers can make a living doing what they do.

I am ending this month with another pair of my dog and cat blogs, starting as always with the point of view of that troublemaking hound Loki....

7:03 AM. Waking up at home. Dreamed of chasing that infernal squirrel. I had him all cornered and ready to be done with... when the sound of that rooster out at the barn hollering woke me up. Note to self: bark up a storm at that rooster later.

7:31 AM. Hello there, human! How about we get ourselves started on fixing me some breakfast?

7:33 AM. Massive tail wagging and much grinding of teeth as I wolf down breakfast. Kibbles are so yummy!

7:41 AM. Out the door for my morning constitutional. Barking up a storm.

7:45 AM. A stop at the barn. Delivering a fierce barking at lecture to that rooster. Some of us were having good dreams until you had to start crowing, you know! The rooster acts like he doesn’t care. At least this one doesn’t speak with a Southern accent and spend all day making my life hell.

7:54 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off. You know, it occurs to me that all this barking might tend to alert annoyances like squirrels that I’m around.

8:21 AM. Stopping to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. We greet each other in the customary sniffing of the hindquarters. 

8:23 AM. Spike and I discuss strategies for rooting out those awful squirrels. We agree they’re up to something, but what? World domination through caches of nuts? Stealing food from backyard patios and putting their stores to some vile purpose? Unfortunately it’s not possible to get intelligence from within the camp of the enemy. What with squirrels hating dogs so much and vice versa.

8:25 AM. Spike and I debate just what possible use roosters actually have. He doesn’t care much for how they crow so early in the morning either.

8:28 AM. Parting ways with Spike. We promise to keep each other up to date on any sightings of the enemy.

9:03 AM. On my way home. I think for a moment of stopping by to say hello to that cat... but maybe I should do better and just leave that cranky cat alone. Why she doesn’t like me, I have no idea. I mean, I’m a pretty likeable dog, right? Well, maybe not so much for that time the other week when I barked at her out of a sound sleep. But how long can she hold a grudge?

9:12 AM. Back home. Hello, human! Nice day to be out and about, but I didn’t manage to find any mud puddles or roadkill to roll around in. I think I’ll have a nap. Tell that rooster to keep his beak shut.

12:03 PM. Waking up out of nap thanks to sound of dishes being moved around in the kitchen. Is it lunch time?

12:05 PM. Using my sad eyes technique to do some mooching. Hopefully it pays off with good dividends.

12:07 PM. The human gives me a dinner roll. Yum yum yum!

1:15 PM. Out with the human at the barn while she’s doing a few things. Keeping a close watch. Barking at that rooster again.

3:30 PM. Tea time! Hopefully I can mooch a cookie.

3:41 PM. Operation Mooch A Cookie has met with great success. Butterscotch cookies taste so yummy!

4:10 PM. Staring outside at the sky. Contemplating the meaning of life. Does the dog scratch the itch or does the itch scratch the dog?

4:12 PM. My musings are interrupted by movement out on the lawn. It’s that infernal squirrel! Human! Let me out! Let me out right this minute! I must launch a full canine offensive against that demonic adversary! Look at him! He’s right out there rubbing his little paws together, and that means he’s up to something! Do you want him raiding the bird feeders? Let me out!

4:13 PM. Shooting out the door at top speed. Barking my head off. Foul varmint! This time I have you!

4:14 PM. The annoying squirrel is laughing at me while perched on that branch out of my reach. He’s laughing at me. I circle around the tree, barking viciously. And he’s laughing. 

6:27 PM. The human calls me in. I’ve been circling around this tree for over two hours, and that squirrel is still out of reach. Oh, sure, laugh away, you repugnance, but one of these days, you’ll let your guard down.

One of these days you’ll slip up. And guess what? 

I’ll be there.

6:35 PM. The human and I are having dinner. Bacon pancakes suits me nicely. Good compensation for not catching that squirrel.

11:35 PM. The human is off to bed. I’m just as well staying down here, human. I’ll keep an eye outside. If that squirrel comes back in the night, I’ll see him. And then, one way or another... I’ll bark so loud it’ll wake up the dead.